to move a mountain

Were you asked to move a mountain, how would you do it?

Ideally I would like to say to that mountain "Be Moved" and have it move. Poof! Just like that. But were that not the case, I could at least get started moving it stone by stone.

I have pointed at the mountains in my life lately and told them to move...and they don't seem to be listening. So, yeah, I'm trying that stone by stone thing. Kind of like eating that proverbial elephant. Or, in my case, how does one read this many books (complete with readers responses, presentations, and research papers) in a four month period?...

    

The answer: One word at a time.

Yes, I finally got my permission to exceed the credit limit and take 25 credits this semester. That's equivalent to an 80 hour work week. In the nearly three years I've been back at school, I've never taken more than 10. So, this should be...interesting. Plus, I've scored an awesome internship working as the local publicist for a brilliant author with a book due out in March. I also continue to be blessed with regular, paying writing jobs. And, of course, my children and their needs continue to take priority in my life. I really have no idea how I'm going to do all of this, except to do it. I have had extended periods in my life before where I have felt like I was given more strength, intelligence, ability, and endurance than I could ever muster on my own, so I'm praying for that to be the case again.

As for the other mountains in my life, well, darn it! I wish they were as easy to decipher, let alone move. I wish I knew how to better help the people in my life who need it. I wish I knew how to better comfort my children. I wish I  knew better how to just make certain things in my life be "fixed"...even just one or two of them. I know, in my heart of hearts, that while these days seem scary and uncertain and seemingly the worst of times, they really are and continue to have the potential to become the best times in my life. There is so much possibility  right now that I'm practically giddy. It's just a matter of holding on to hope that those possibilities have just as much chance of yielding good things as they do bad. Just because that hasn't been the consistent pattern in my life thus far doesn't mean that it can't be.

I am responsible for my attitude and choices, no matter what.

Yes, life has punched me in the stomach an awful lot. And sometimes it doesn't even wait for me to fully get up before punching me again. I'm tired. I'm lonely. Death, abandonment, sickness, heartache, confusion...they seem to spend way too much time hanging around me.

But again, even in those circumstances, I am responsible for my attitude and choices.

And so I choose faith over doubt, over fear, over the unknown and unseen, and (this one is the hardest sometimes) over pessimism.

"I have never witnessed the removal of an actual mountain. But because of faith, I have seen a mountain of doubt and despair removed and replaced with hope and optimism...I have personally witnessed a mountain of pain replaced with peace, hope, and gratitude." (Richard C. Edgley)

May it be true of the mountains in my life...and in yours.

(next post I promise will be something completely light and funny again :) )