perspective

 I have always freely given service--to my family, my friends, to friends of friends, through organizations in my church, to those I hear of in need. I have collected cans for scouting. I have given food to the food bank. I have taken in meals to people who've just had babies. I have assembled hygiene kits and tied quilts for those in need. I have helped a lot of people move. But, I decided I wanted to do something consistently. Even something even out of my comfort zone. To grow...

So, I started volunteering weekly at the Veteran's Retirement Home. I go during my lunch hour, help serve meals for 1/2 hour, then spend the next 1/2 hour visiting with patients who are hungry not only for food, but for attention, for someone to listen to them, to look them in the eye. The medical staff there is kind but few in number and run so ragged, they only have time for getting what HAS to be done done, and sadly not a lot of time for interaction.

The men and women at the home range in age from Gulf War veterans in their early 40's who have sustained brain damage, to World War II vet's. For most of them, the war was only a part of their life for a few years, and yet it completely changed them forever. When the fighting was done, most went on and lived productive, healthy lives--married, raised children, worked, played, forgot as much as possible in the busy-ness of day to day. But now, in their golden years when reflection is part of the psychological process, all they saw and experienced in the war has once again come to the forefront of their lives. Service and sacrifice and the price of freedom is evident in their faces.

I go to serve them, and yet I have been the one who has been blessed. With laughter. With wisdom. With gratitude. And most of all....with perspective.

*I feel jaded wondering if there really is such thing as "love" and marriages that don't end in divorce*

PERSPECTIVE: 93 year old Billy just lost  his wife 2 months ago after 79 years together. You do the math...they were 13 and 14 when they got married (!) He said he loved her more than anything and wished he had two lives to spend with her.

*I feel tired and worn down and overworked*

PERSPECTIVE: Robert only has 6 fingers and 4 nubs. He spent 14 months as a German POW. He was nearly starved to death and beaten daily. His fingers were broken so badly, so many times, that they finally had to amputate 4 of them. "But," he says, "I survived."

*I worry about the peer pressure my kids face and the possible lasting consequences of it*

PERSPECTIVE: Gino is a WWII vet originally from New York. As a child, he used to distract the man who sold fruit from a donkey-driven cart while his friends stole handfuls of apples and oranges. He turned out ok :)

*I grumble over the seemingly endless cycle of losing and gaining this same stupid five pounds*

PERSPECTIVE: It's Bob's 91st birthday. There is a birthday cake for him and we all sing and clap. Afterwards the cake is cut and he is offered a piece. He answers, "No thanks. That stuff they feed us ain't cake, it just looks like it." In fact, looking around, all the food looks strangely mashed and pureed and void of all salt, sugar, and fat. There will be time enough to lose weight when eating is no longer a pleasure...

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OTHER MOMENTS OF PERSPECTIVE:

William wears a worn University of Oregon shirt and tells me how his son graduated from there. He tells me about a song called "And Then It's Christmas" that they wrote and recorded together years ago, how proud he was of it. He tells me how he hasn't heard from his kids in a long time. He tells me how he misses live jazz music. He asks me if it's summer outside yet.

You can't ask Stan about his experience as a submarine operator in the war or he has nightmares that keep him up all night for weeks on end.

You need to talk to Ruth the whole time she eats and pat her hands or her back or she will keep falling asleep.
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The volunteering is not emotionally easy. I've left crying. I've left questioning life, but never humanity. It's worth it.

Everyone wants to work with animals. Everyone wants to work with cute, healthy children. But not a lot of people jump at the chance to work with the elderly. Might I just suggest that if you have only an hour, a lunch break like I do--call United Way or another volunteer organization and find out where you could be used. Your time, your effort, your smile, your love WILL make a difference.

I promise you will be rewarded. And given a little perspective, too.