post-apocalyptic bohemian chic male perfection in a double-breasted suit

I was squeezing in a 30 minute treadmill run before my kicboxing class last week, thumbing through a Harper's as my feet thudded away to nowhere. There was an article in it about clothing designer Tom Ford and one his typical days. I was most drawn to read it since one of the pull quotes mentioned him only sleeping 4 1/2 hours a night and I thought, oh, like me!

And turns out he does, indeed, only sleep 4 1/2 hours a night. But that's where the similarity ends. Tom Ford takes 4 baths a day. He works out with a trainer for 90 minutes daily, sorts through 100 emails. He has a whole kit of little specialty brushes to put on his man makeup with. He wears a similar version of the same outfit every day depending on what city he's in. Each of his meals is rigorously planned. And the result...

Some type of post-apocalyptic bohemian chic male perfection in a double-breasted suit. I bet he smells amazing. I bet his sculpting razor is made of gold. I bet he never has dirt under his fingernails. And I bet his skin is so soft you could spread it on toast.

Yummy, right?

He's like the male version of Kim Kardashian. And, really, I think I could live like that, indulged to the max, for about 5 days. And then it would drive me absolutely crazy! Who can comfortably spend weeks, let alone entire years of their lives completely devoted to themselves? Even if the results are stunning? How many people could he help if he only took one bath instead of four?

Everybody has their level of comfort, and routines are certainly comforting things (I love mine, when I can have one)--so I won't knock him too much. But I compare him to the woman I was exposed to after stepping off the treadmill--

My kickboxing instructor. The one who is about 120 pounds soaking wet but who I would still never, ever cross in a dark alley. Or a light one either.

The one who just 8 years ago couldn't walk...

An undiagnosed tumor on her spine forced her into a wheelchair for two years, where she put on 80 pounds. The tumor was finally discovered and removed and she re-learned to walk again. Then to run. Then she lost all the weight, starred in a Tai-bo infomercial, and got certified to teach kickboxing/combat classes.

She still has a lot of scar tissue in her back and so it's never a question of if she's in pain on a daily basis or not, just how much. Yet, every Tuesday and Thursday--there she is--smiling and motivating and teaching us. "It's all a matter of attitude," she says. "Either I can let the pain control and dictate to me, or I can face it in the most courageous way I can."

Though my pain is largely more emotional than physical (except for that pesky heart condition), I long ago made that same decision. I figure there are 4 ways I could live:

1. Married and Happy (which is, let's face it, the ideal situation as numerous studies have proven)

2. Single and Happy (still not too shabby, most of the time)

3. Single and Miserable (I know many of these folks. They're the ones that, when you ask how they are, you better have 20 minutes and a strong stomach)
or

4. Married and Miserable (which is terrible since there's now two of you slowly dragging one another down the pit of despair, or one who has to try way too hard to be happy even when they'd like a day off, just to keep that scale evened out).

• So, I don't really recall the last time I took a bath.
• So, the most expensive piece of clothing I've ever owned (besides my wedding dress) cost $100.
• So, my idea of a fancy breakfast is toaster strudel where I do the icing in dramatic swirls.

In the end, I choose to spend my days giving enough time to myself to not look overly neglected, but not so much that I can't easily lose myself in the service of others. I choose to not let my emotional and/or physical pain dictate my mood more than occasionally. And I choose to continue to live Single and Happy until (hopefully) an opportunity for the married and happy thing presents itself.

*Hope you're living each day to the fullest. And I love you even if you happen to take 4 baths, too :) *