lies we tell our children

C'mon...you  know you've done it... "Put the truth to the test" with your kids. Sometimes for (you hope) their benefit--because the truth is ugly; or sometimes just to mess with them because what fun are kids if you don't get a few ill-gotten chuckles out of the deal ? :).

Here is a sampling of lies I've told my boysquad:

1. (This one worked brilliantly when they were little) The ice cream truck plays music when it's out of ice cream. I still remember the looks on their faces when, at the park with our homeschool co-op years ago, the ice cream truck came through the parking lot, playing music, and all the kids ran for it...and got ice cream...

2. Sorry, the candy is all gone.  (Really I'm hiding the last few pieces of it in my bedroom drawer. It's mine. Trust me, you'll appreciate  that I'm nicer with chocolate in my system).

3. That's not a bad haircut: In my quest to save money, I frequent a less-than-spa-like hair cutting establishment. Most of the time, things turn out alright. Occassionally, a hairdresser who has chosen a mullet style hair-do for herself (yeah...HERself) gets assigned to one of my boys. Usually poor cowlick-ridden E. And the result looks a bit like the heart-wrenching pictures of parasite-ridden third world children. Sigh. At least it grows back in a month. A definite perk for having all male children.

4. My room was always clean when I was younger! Truth is, it was one of those rooms with two paths through the heaps of clothes and shoes--one from the door to my bed, one from my bed to my bathroom. One day, after several threats to 'pick up my stuff or else...', my mom waited until I was gone, then bagged up every piece of clothing on my floor and hid it at her office. After a month of being forced to wear only what I had hanging in my closet (which wasn't much), I learned my lesson about picking up my clothes. I learned it for a whole two months....

5. There won't be bullies when you grow up. After a run-in with a bully type who wrote a mean and profanity-laden message on my E's binder (in permanent marker WHILE my E was in a different part of the classroom teaching a card game--to handicapped children nonetheless!...), I tried to console him with the idea that bullies won't be an issue when he grows up. I told him I know it's rough to endure this part of his life, but if he keeps holding true to the fine young man he is, he'll be ok.

I believe that last part about him being ok, but the no grown up bully part...yeah, I don't think that's really true. Maybe we give them different names when we get older, but the truth is: Life produces some pretty rotton individuals. Sometimes, even when you're nice to everyone and treat others like you want to be treated--there are people who only delight in pulling you down and/or belittling you and/or your achievements.

They're easier to ignore or avoid as an adult, at least. Mostly. Surrounding yourself with good family and true friends who know how great you are helps form the best barrier. And having faith that there's a special place reserved in the after life for the not-so-nice bully types. A place where the ice cream trucks are always out of ice cream :)

That's the truth.

And thank goodness there are a million other wonderful truths to share with my kids that need no *embellishing* whatsoever.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat some of that candy that's "all gone." :)