it is decided

All my boys are back from two months with their dad, welcomed home by long bear hugs, kisses on the tops of their moppy-haired heads, a party at the beach, our favorite donut shop, their own beds.

Z only got a few days to re-adjust before starting back to school. A sophomore. I don't know when or how that happened because I'm quite certain *I* am still a sophomore, but so be it...

I was worried about his return to high school. He had a hard time of it last year. It's a challenging school, about 70% Asian students who really do work stereotypically hard to excel. Z came in mid-year, trying to make friends and catch up in new subjects, find his way around a new school, a new town, a new culture. Having to do stupid things like line dance for a month in his PE class of 60 students, and well--it was just...a  lot for him, as I expected it would be. It shut him down for a while emotionally. I missed his smile. For as wonderful the reasons for our moving, it wasn't easy on any of us.

But, this year, thus far, things are better. Z got in to an Animations class he really enjoys, took a risk and joined choir (they have a fussball table in the choir room and are singing One Direction songs), and he's even keeping up in Geometry. He's got a good group of friends. He's trying. He comes home happy. I am happy.

Things weren't quite as rosy for E, L, and J, though. They all started out great back in January, claiming they loved their new schools SOOOO much more than their old ones. But, like a balloon slowly deflating, their enthusiasm waned.

E did his best to be cheerful about everything but his grades were dropping--not because he wasn't smart, but just because he wasn't as organized as he needed to be, rushing through assignments to try and limit the ridiculous amount of homework he was coming home with every night, and there was no one taking any one on one time with him to explain what he wasn't catching on to. Plus, he was tired of the whole middle school social scene (who wouldn't be?!). To top it off, E's favorite and most invested teacher, the band director, left the school at the end of the year, and the district started to charge $75 for bussing (he was our only kid who "qualified" for bussing due to how far away his school was).

L and J were top of their classes in a school where there was a great sense of community, but they were dreading the kids they went to school with. There were a lot of problems with language, crude humor, vandalism on the playground, and plain old not playing fair.

I know, I know...we had a lot of this when we went to school too, and I'm sure it made us better, stronger humans to deal with it. But, when I started to dread picking up my kids every day because they were having far more bad days than good ones for reasons not related to learning, and how it would take a few hours afterwards just to warm them back up to their bright, happy selves, I started to think WHY? Why am I doing this to them again?

So, the day before they were slated to start back to school, I went and pulled the three of them out.

I had spent some time this summer researching homeschooling options and groups here in Orange County, talked with some homeschooling families, hypothesized how to make it work with the four hours I work every day, and around my writing (which I owe to myself not to abandon again). I wasn't sure how to make it all function, but with seven years of homeschooling already under my belt, I knew I COULD make it work if I just took the leap. My kids were worth it.

Yesterday was Day One. So far, so good. In fact, I haven't had such a peaceful day in a while. Everyone was so engaged, happy, kind, and thankful. "I like homeschooling so much better," said J.    L hugged me a lot.      E laughed.

And all the old wonderful benefits I remember came back: Kids who could linger just a little longer in their pajamas, who ate healthier, who could take their books outside to read if they wanted, who could work standing up or lying down or go run a lap around the house if it struck their fancy, who quickly blurred the lines between learning time and regular life.

I'm trying to get  them into a charter school that meets twice a week with a robotics team and a mock trial and math tutoring and music classes--stuff that's more fun to do in groups. We've mapped out all the cool activities going on at the library, book store, and park, activities they now won't be "too sick of school" to enjoy. E will be teaching L and J piano. Mr. Perfect is the best Art teacher they could ask for. I even found a mentorship/paying job for all of them to do with a friend of mine who owns a pest control company. Here in California you can also do awesome stuff like whale watching, tide pool exploration, surf lessons, and even Disneyland offers a hands on class for homeschoolers.

I think it can work. All of it.

As for me--I work while they do independent work, read, and play learning games, then do hands on things when I get home. I know, as far as my writing, what needs to be written will get written, and I can always do with less sleep to accomplish something that's so important to me.

I think I can help E learn organization and regain some confidence in his abilities, just in time for high school next year if he wants to go.

I think I can keep L and J better mentally challenged and provide them with safe social interaction that more mimics real life.

Of course, this is still only two days in speaking. I'm certain we'll have our difficult days ahead as enthusiasm wears off, assignments get more challenging, and things get hectic in one way or another, but I think we can handle it.

I just keep thinking about how wonderful I felt yesterday, not having to do hours of dropping off, waiting, picking up, signing papers, and doing the most boring busy work homework ever. How we finished our whole day in three hours, with time left over for all of us to read quietly together, bake banana bread together, play with the neighbor boys. It was really good.

I want nothing more for my children than to love each other, love the Lord, be content. Not sheltered, just happy with themselves and empathetic towards others and in love with life and learning. I want to teach them things they can't learn in school in ways they can't learn them.

After spending a  few years in it, I think public school can be totally awesome (Go teachers!!). I think homeschooling can be totally awesome. I think there are a lot of ways to do right by your kids, and most parents are totally awesome. And I think living in a place with choices and options is totally awesome, too. Here's to taking advantage of them!