second bloom

I find it ironic that I missed the Sunday School lesson on Job yesterday because I had to go home to change my shirt which had started to mysteriously unravel during the first hour of church. Wish I would have stayed. I needed it. Needed a reminder that every thing can be taken from you but never your will and your belief. Summer 2010---you really sucked!

Since June, I have broken my foot and had my insurance make me pay the whole cost as meeting my deductible. My pell grants fell through. I had the whole stopped alimony thing which slashed my budget by 1/3. While my mowing my lawn last week, my 11 year old lawnmower caught on fire (!). A strong windstorm over the weekend broke my beautiful patio furniture. I was at the state fair when that storm hit, and was smacked in the back by a piece of flying shrapnel. And just when I thought it couldn't get any more "fun" -- someone came into my garage during the 1/2 hour this morning when the door was opened and stole my purse from my van.

Did I mention I'm a strict follower of the Dave Ramsey plan? Because, yeah, I am. Someone is having a heyday with the $300-500 dollars I know I had left in my cash envelopes.

I spent all morning in a state of teary numbness making phone calls to cancel all my accounts, get a new drivers license, and figure out how to jiggle my budget around enough to make it through the rest of this month with school supplies for my oldest and more groceries still to be bought. For those of you who have had things stolen before, you know how violated you feel knowing creepy people are looking through your things--the pictures of your children, funny notes written to you, maybe chewing your gum. Ugh.

Anyhow, I guess I could chalk all this up to being some bad luck curse that's been chasing me around for the last several years (I WAS supposed to die when I was 32, you know, death might not have taken lightly to being cheated!). But then I remembered Saturday morning....

My boys were with their dad and I spent several hours working in the yard, trimming and pruning and doing all the work that I won't be able to do once I go back to class this week. I noticed most of my flowers were fading or dead and needed cut back. Once I snipped them, my borders seemed awfully colorless and bare. But, I knew by trimming everything back, in a few weeks, I'd get one more show of flowers to fill everything back in. I'd get--

A second bloom.

I hope that all these less than happy events and setbacks are leading me to my own, personal second bloom. A time when things are a little more calm and a little less scary again. When I can look back without mourning and forward without fear. I hope I can keep remembering the wise purpose in being cut back a bit. What it can lead to.

I'll still take any of those prayers you have to send my way. And of course--that which doesn't kill me....makes for some great writing material.

***Update, 5 hours later: I almost didn't publish this because...my purse was found. At my brother's house where I was last night for a birthday party. They didn't find it when they were cleaning up and my brother swears he saw it behind the seat in my van when he was helping to get my kids in, but they did find it late this afternoon. So after a day at the DMV and the bank, and on hold on the phone for longer than I care to relate, I get everything back in tact. It's almost funny. But only in a ha way, not a ha ha way. However--the second bloom part, still totally true. And that's why I'm publishing this anyway :).