I am not a superstitious person. I open umbrellas in the house, walk under ladders, and routinely pet any and all black cats crossing my path. But I have lived with a grim prophecy hanging over my head for the past 18 years-----
When I was 14 years old, I went for a summer visit to my aunt and uncle's house in Massachusetts. While there, we took a day trip up to Provincetown---a very "artsy" community where all the men walked around holding hands ("look how FRIENDLY everyone is with eachother" I remember thinking in my blissful innocence... ). While strolling the shop-lined streets, a certain something caught my eye. It was a fairly large, smoke and light filled crystal ball on top of a red pedestal. The sign above it read: "Learn Your Fate"......50 cents. I thought that sounded pretty cool, and quickly fished a couple of quarters out the my stone-washed jeans pocket. Now, let's see--I was 14, it was 1989, and so I REALLY wanted my fate to be: "One of the New Kids on the Block will fall madly in love with you and put you in their next music video". I plunked my money in the slot, typed in my date of birth like it asked, and waited. Would it be Joey McIntyre? Jordan Knight? I guess I could even live with Danny Wood who had the weird monkey mouth, because at least he could get me closer to Joey or Jordan. (for you baby bloggers--these were the names of members of NKOTB--the coolest, hat-wearin', Batman t-shirt clad, all boy band to rock the late 80's. Now back to my story...) I waited anxiously. The lights in the crystal ball turned pink, then green, then blue. Then a card was dispensed. My fate:
When I was 14 years old, I went for a summer visit to my aunt and uncle's house in Massachusetts. While there, we took a day trip up to Provincetown---a very "artsy" community where all the men walked around holding hands ("look how FRIENDLY everyone is with eachother" I remember thinking in my blissful innocence... ). While strolling the shop-lined streets, a certain something caught my eye. It was a fairly large, smoke and light filled crystal ball on top of a red pedestal. The sign above it read: "Learn Your Fate"......50 cents. I thought that sounded pretty cool, and quickly fished a couple of quarters out the my stone-washed jeans pocket. Now, let's see--I was 14, it was 1989, and so I REALLY wanted my fate to be: "One of the New Kids on the Block will fall madly in love with you and put you in their next music video". I plunked my money in the slot, typed in my date of birth like it asked, and waited. Would it be Joey McIntyre? Jordan Knight? I guess I could even live with Danny Wood who had the weird monkey mouth, because at least he could get me closer to Joey or Jordan. (for you baby bloggers--these were the names of members of NKOTB--the coolest, hat-wearin', Batman t-shirt clad, all boy band to rock the late 80's. Now back to my story...) I waited anxiously. The lights in the crystal ball turned pink, then green, then blue. Then a card was dispensed. My fate:
"YOU WILL DIE IN A FIRE WHEN YOUR ARE 32."
WHAT?!?!?!?! What the $%&*#(@ kind of fortune was THAT?! I stood there looking, and feeling, rather confused. I managed to squeak out: "It says I'm gonna die. In a fire. When I'm 32." My uncle told me that was dumb. My aunt told me to throw it away. I tried to laugh it off. Then I remembered how the gypsy machine on the movie "Big" really made Tom Hanks big...... and I didn't ever want to be 32. *** Did I mention I'm 32?*** At least for another day. And though I can't exactly say that this has been my best year ever.......I'm still here!!! Knock on wood. But not too hard. It might catch fire......
Here's wishing myself a year ahead full of pleasant surprises, sweet serendipity, and the ability to stop holding my breath in fear. Neener -neener stupid crystal ball! You owe me 50 cents!
*and this was an honest to goodness story---not something made up to shamelessly promote my own birthday... though ya'al can comment me up with some extra b.day love if you want :) .
**and New Boots--you may drive by my house on your most awesome motorcycle and burn some kind of happy birthday message onto my street with tire rubber. That would be SWEET! And all my neighbors would totally love it!
96 comments:
Happy birthday!!! I am glad you cheated fate!!! I came over from Tausha's blog. Enjoyable reading can be found here. Thanks.
Have you ever seen someone do a smiley face burnout? I should leave one in front of your house!
♡ Big was the firs thing I though of when I saw that crystal ball! :)
Happy BIRTHDAY!!! I think you should have gotten your money back too! That is a crappy "fate" reading...
Happy Birthday! I hope your day is fabulous!
Blessings!
Mrs. Q
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sweets!! I hope you have a very lovely day.
Maybe not physically die in a fire, but emotionally cleansed by fire??? Old self vs. new self. C'mon, Jen, work with me.
NKOTB was my first concert...man, I loved those guys!
Happy almost birthday!
~ Sarah
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Maybe you should skip the candles today though. I'm just saaaaying.
I had the big crush on the boys too. One summer I sent them a letter every single day. Shhhhh...don't tell anybody. And hey...they ARE back together now.
I totally want to see the message NB left in your street. That *would* be awesome!
As per usual, Heather took the words outta my mouth.
Just so you know--32 is the new 22. And 33 is the new 23. I speak from experience.
I was so pulling for that gypsy to give you the NKOTB fortune. And you're right about Danny--MONKEY MOUTH. Did you see them on the Today show a couple of weeks back. They've still got it. The right stuff, that is. I'm just sayin'.
Bonnie,
Thanks! I like enjoyable!
New Boots,
Bring it on! (and for those of you not knowing about New Boots and I----he is an actual friend. I am not inviting strange cyber power-ranger looking people over to my house. You--lurker---you're not invited :)....).
Serious,
Yup. That Big movie....
Mrs. Q--
Thank you :)!
Heather,
The irony of it is not lost on me. I really thought the same thing. But then that would make a coin-operated crystal ball right. And I don't know if I wanna go there...
FFandT,
sooooo jealous! They never did come to my town :(.
Sunshine,
tee hee hee! I wrote them a letter too. And sent a picture. And was part of their fan club where you could call a certain phone number and listen to a recorded message from the guys...eyery day....sometimes mulitple times a day. And I slept with their poster on my ceiling. And wrote all their names in that post from memory (sorry Jon and Donny....didn't mean to leave you out!). :)
Lula,
You just made me feel 10 years younger! And I'd heard they were back together, but haven't seen anything. I'll have to search it out on You Tube!
so funny...happy birthday...and don't eat anything to hot...you never know what kind of "fire" she ment???
just kidding :o)
~simply~
Happy, Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday. Maybe NKOTB reuniting is a sign. You survived the "fire" and now Joey will come knocking on your door telling what a fool he was back then. Too bad for him you and Blake Lewis will already be living a magical beat-box life.
I hope the next year is great for you!
Happy Birthday!!!
32, I remember 32, wow to have that youth again would be great. Go tear it up and take a ride on that Harley for your birthday and tear up the road!!
Hello?! What about hottie bad boy Donnie? (Totally my favorite and I just KNEW I was going to meet and date him one day.) So funny....but I hope you really don't die today!!! Stay away from all things hot and no smores tonight to celebrate your last day being 32.
Well, your blog has spread like wildfire, so maybe that's it. Happy Birthday tomorrow!
Okay, so many things I need to say! As always, genuis, you are hysterical. I can't believe it said that...I mean now a days isn't that bordering on politically incorrect? Although, the gay men I know do have a wicked sense of humor.. And, sounds like this fortune teller could have been batting for the other team.
Now, I was a NKOTB fan, (I am 33), but I don't know if I would call them a Rock Band....
And, New Boots has a motorcycle??? H.O.T
One more thing.. Heather read my mind... there is a great quote about emerging from the fire a new woman. That's you. A.New.Woman.
And Happy Birthday Girl!
Happiest of Birthdays to you! (I would've lived INSIDE every day if I'd gotten that fortune!) This is going to be YOUR year friend!!!! HAVE AN AWESOME DAY! Take a picture of the smiley face burnout for us to see!!!
Mrs. R--
New Boots is all about his motorcycle. Seriously--he keeps a picture of it on his desk at work. But not a Harley as Queen thought, no.... Mr. Boots has finer, faster taste in motorcycles.
Oh yeah, Carrie--
Don't think that EXACT thought didn't go through my head.... :)
Happy Birthday! I'm a friend's of Corrie's who has a blog www.familywithfivekids. I have stopped by your blog a few times. Your family is darling! I hope your birthday was the best one yet! :) Michelle www.eternalcorner.blogspot.com
Wow, way to count your chickens before they hatch. What if your house catches fire tonight? Just kidding. I think you're safe to plan your day tomorrow. It will be a great one! Happy Birthday to you Jennifer. You are AAAAWESOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happiest of Birthdays Jen...love this story but its how you tell it that makes it amazing..Jennifer
Happy Birthday, hon! I certainly hope you have a good day!!
"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Jenniferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, happy birthday to you!"
Here's to a year full of blessings and new friends.
Happy Birthday! You would have been my competition back in the day because I totally envisioned a New Kid (esp. Jon) coming to my door and sweeping me off my teenage feet to a studio where we would film a video together. I was so jealous of all those "ugly" girls that got picked. Feeling you on the Danny Wood monkey mouth. We are totally kindred spirits! Anyway, after seeing their new video just this morning, I realized that there's something bizarre about 30-something guys all dancing an singing together in a "boy band" kind of way. I can just hear them calling for the Ben-Gay after finishing their routine.
Happy, happy un-fired up birthday! No wait, get fired up just not in a fire. No, oh whatever. Have a great day!
Found you on SITS. Love your blog.
Happy Birthday!
I hate those kind of messages...but maybe it meant a different kind of fire......like the love fire? OK, now I'm being wierd!
I do hope you have a great year ahead full of much more happiness than you can imagine!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
That is hilarious about the crystal ball thing. Here's hoping for a year of bliss~
Happy Birthday! And what a horrid fortune. Wait a minute...it's not even a fortune.
And I am so glad that I came by via SITS. I have "seen" you around...and should have clicked over sooner. We homeschool too...sorta.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I've never been here. Love your blog.
xoxoxo
I am the first one to leave you a comment on your actual birthday. Happy Birthday, my friend!
happy birthday to my little blog fairy! (I figure it fits!)
Just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY again. Hope you have a great day.
Holy Tamale who the heck are all of these people all of a sudden!!! What's happening?! Jennifer's blog is supposed to be MY guilty pleasure. It seems that the rest of the blogging community is catching on FAST!
What is even more amazing is that I recognize over half of the people commenting! I love them. We're so awesome...shall I make this all about us???
;)
Okay, back to you!! You're story, once again, was JUST so much fun to read! I loved it, the stonewashed jeans, the men strolling holding hands with your 'awwww, isn't that nice how friendly everyone is' thought. Just so fun from beginning to end!
I'm glad you made it through your 32nd year....alive! Stupid, stupid automated fortune teller. There must have been some jealous person behind the screen noticing your exotic potential. If they were back there, naughty, naughty jealous person! Did you see my old lady finger come out? Yeah, I'm good. Anyway...
We can give them some kudos…they got close. You WERE 32 when you got burned by love, and MAYBE you did 'die' on the inside for just a bit …who wouldn’t ( I think previous commenters hinted at this so eloquently), but 33 just looks VERY bright, from the flames that are flickering behind us. Ooooh, so poetic today...Shall we run away from the explosions like all of those action heroes we see on TV?
Here’s to looking forward to new friends, new experiences, and new life.
Cheers.
Now go eat some pasta!
happy happy birthday! it's a good thing you're still around! (have you checked your smoke detector batteries this year? lol!)
So, maybe your fortune was right. You DID sort of have part of you die in a blaze when Brad left. But the stronger part of you has prevailed and is alive. And ROCKIN'!!! Happy Day my friend!
Miki,
You'd be a rude blog reader to not wish someone a happy birthday when they ask you too :)....hence many comments today! I also think there were a lot of closet NKOTB fans out there!
I heart NKOTM!!!
Juli and I are here reading your blog, hoping you had a happy birthday. Did you help your children celebrate it, so they would feel they were part of helping you be happy and resourseful? We hope so, for you all need the love you can share with each other. Love, Mom and Juli
Oh my stinkin' goodness - I'm glad you said NewBoots was a friend!
Happy Birthday. I lurk no more.
And I, too, thought of your refining this year. I think it fits.
Blessings on the joys that lie ahead.
~Karin
I can't believe you actually got a card that said that! Holy Cow!
I hope your birthday was fabulous!
Happy Birthday about a month late! What a horrible fortune teller card to get!! I'm so glad you proved it wrong. lol I was thinking of the movie BIG too.
You crack me up. fun blog and personality! I can tell you're a poet from the way you write. :o)
Enjoy your SITS day!
You definitely should get your quarters back.
Wow. What a story. Who would make such a Fortune Teller machine and let it put out those type of messages. I am sure that was pretty traumatic for you at the time. Congrats on being alive. From one '80's girl to another, I had more of a crush on Marky Mark. Yup, I still want to watch all of Mark Walburg's movies! Congrats on your Saucy blog. I have enjoyed reading your posts.
I LOVE Big! That would have totally freaked me out too. I also enjoyed your post about your boys.
Have a good day!
Brit
Good job kicking fates butt!!
Freak.y. That's not nice to do to a 14 year old! But can you imagine the guys as they thought up and printed out those cards!?!? That actually sounds like something I'd do...
As for NKOTB obsession. I lived by the interstate and was convinced their tour bus was going to break down and they were going to go searching for help. Of course, to find it at my doorstep.
I'm thinking the guy who wrote that card had just gotten fired! That'd've freaked me out big time!
I always thought I was going to die when I turned 26... My husband and I still joke about how non-clairvoyant I am... I'm 43 and still kickin.'
But getting a fortune like that, well that's just creepy and would scar me for years.
Happy Belated Birthday....looks like you're still alive and kicking a month later!
Happy belated birthday. Here's to tempting fate and many more great years to come.
Glad to see you made it!
I'm glad you mentioned BIG here...I totally thought of that when you said you were going up to the gypsy machine!
Congratulations on changing your destiny! :)
ROFL...when I was little I had a "vision" that I would be murdered sometime within my 23rd year. Well my 23rd came and went. For a few years I shrugged it off as silly childhood nonsense. Then when my 32nd birthday approached I started wondering if what I had seen was some riddled joke. Maybe it wouldn't be my 23rd year after all! Maybe it was 23 BACKWARDS and I was going to be murdered in my 32nd year! *Gasp*! Well, so far so good...still here. Funny how things from childhood really stick with ya!
Oh my goodness!!! I am glad you cheated fate!!! hehehe.
NKOTB Reunion 2008, are you ready?
I read this post when you first wrote it and thought it was interesting that you still remembered the incident and that it turned out to be this year. Either way you survived and are going strong. And those of us who are getting to know you are glad.
YOU'RE STILL HERE!!! And truckin along.. I was only 5yrs old in 89. LOL I'm still a youngin.. BLAH. Anyway HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY.
Wow. Now that's just a wrong wrong thing to have programmed. You know in this day and age there would have been a protest against it led by some minister (not Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson, as they have more "important" things to attend to, however) with lots of publicity and people chanting and holding big signs. There would have been people crying on the news about it. And the maker would come out with a huge apology about how there was a rogue programmer who had done this and the machine was being removed and they're so sorry and in a token of appreciation, they're going to host a REAL carnival in said town every year going forward.
Unfortunately, you were 14 in 1989 when this happened....
Glad you made it to your 33rd birthday though -- and a happy belated birthday!
Happy belated bday.
Here's to defying fate! Happy Birthday!
What kind of freakish crystal ball spits that out?!
Glad you survived
I'd like to make a request and dedication to Jennifer P...
New Kids On The Block, "Summertime".
Yeah...aren't these guys almost 40? Hello...didn't someone tell them that?
My girls LOVE this song. I just shake my head (yet, don't change the channel), cuz I seriously used to CRY when I was 14 listening to these guys. Seriouslaaaay, what up, boys?
Happy SITS Day and I'm glad you're still alive. Cuz I would miss you.
A Happy Belated Birthday :-)
What a stupid thing for a crystal ball machine thingy to be spitting out. Whoever dreamed that fortune up was a real lame-brain!!
Glad you survived the year! :-)
That is toooooo funny...well it is since you made it to 33 and didn't die in a fire! Love it!!
Wow. I can appreciate that kind of paranoia, even without the fortune. I used to fear that I would die before my kids were old enough to remember me. Isn't that ridiculous? It was kind of cool, though, because it inspired me to start a journal 17 years ago, and that journal today is 165 pages long, filled with every cute, funny, scary thing my kids have ever done. Congrats on being featured today :)
Glad to see you made it through :)
BTW, I am SO going to see NKOTB this summer! How excited am I?!
Hey! Came over from SITS. Congrats on being featured. What a creepy fortune! It would have freaked me out too.
I'll be going with a friend to see the NKOTB this October.
Have a great day!
Congratulations on being featured! Fortunes creep me out at times as well
wow - creepy!
I was surprised to read that we are the same age - and I was *SO* in love with NKOTB too! I'm also from MA and it wasn't until I was much older that I realized what was really going on in P-town. ;)
I had my palm read in high-school and she said I would have 3 serious boyfriends, and marry the 3rd. Um - not so much. But way less creepy than your story!
Ok I'm officially adding you. Moths. NKOTB. Big. Babies. We have too much in common. I'm pretty sure I would have been freaked out the entire year until my 33rd birthday. Congratulations on surviving it!
Happy belated and congrats on not meeting your fiery end! I was 14 in 89 too and was in love with Corey Haim. I'm still not exactly sure when I grew up, it's a blur.
Oh how creepy- and I am so glad you showed that stupid fortune UP!
My best friend in highschool was told by a Ouija board that she would die by the age of like 24 or something and lived in ABSOLUTE FEAR of that until she passed that one.
That was our LAST game of Ouija board, I tell you!!!!
I think that ought to be against the law. Fortunes like that. There ought to be a fortune telling police to oversee those machines. They could also monitor fortune cookies. Plenty of work for them. Fortune cookies are weird too. Blessings, marlene
That is hysterical! Of course a bit traumatic on the mind of a 14 year old. What a great story to pass on! Loved NKOTB too! I guess you know they are back right? I watched their "reunion" on the today show and went back in forth between embarassment (for them) and enjoying an 80's fix. :)
Best Birthday Post. Ever.
Happy late birthday, SITSa!
great post!! Glad to see you made it through to see 33! LOL
Problem is you can't go backwards in age when you get to 39 or any other undesirable age or it's 32 all over again!...hmmmm
OMG! I swear I had the same wish about NKOTB and I thought I was destined to marry Jordan, although NOW his brother is looking kinda hot to me. I used to even make up the dance I was going to make the video to!! HOW LAME IS THAT?? Yes, I wore the buttons on my stonewashed jean jacket and had their pics from Teen Beat inside of my Trapper Keeper!!! ROFL even as I write this!!
What a funny story! That's great - heeheehee! I had a New Kids on the Block t-shirt as a young girl. I don't remember which one I thought was cutest, but I do remember having a definite favorite. Glad you survived being 32!
All that hocus-pocus is a buncha hulla-balooey, good to see you made it ... this has got to be one of the best b-day posts ev-ah!
Oh my heck I am laughing my ass off! So glad you are still here!!
That's creepy. I've never gotten a fortune that specific before, I don't think I'd want to.
i was convinced I'd die at 18. For some reason. On my 19th birthday, my dad sang "Stayin' Alive" to me over and over and over and over...
This one had me laughing out loud!
Glad you're still around.
Okay, I would of been freaking out!
Girl, you are on like EVERYBODY'S blogroll and now I see why! This is hilarious! My favorite is the little NKOTB sidetrack. Don't all blogs eventually lead to a Jordan Knight shout-out?
Congrats on a fire-free year - way to give fate the finger!
Oh my, what a great post! I totally had a NKOTB nightgown when I was 4!
Scary fortune though!
and of course Happy Birthday!
OMG that is a crazy story. Glad you are still among the living.
Funny Story. Congratulations on being the SITSter of the day.
No playing with matches.
Oh boy, what a ghastly fortune. Good thing it's all a load of crap!
Oh you poor thing - I've gone through periods of time like that - where even though I knew it was stupid and I didn't really believe anything would happen, I still felt as though I should be extra quiet so fate wouldn't notice me (and I don't even believe in fate)... all because of a dream or some stupid prediction in a tabloid, or some other nonsense! So sorry you had to suffer through an entire year with that one!
Too funny... as soon as you mentioned the crystal ball, I thought of the movie "Big" too!
Glad you made it through! - Hoping this year has been smooth sailing for you!
Let's hear it for stupid predictions! By-the-way, in 1989 I was 29.
What a horrible "fate!" The people who stocked that machine must have been sick and twisted!! (I wonder if all the predications were dire and horrible!??)
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