in heaven

You won't believe what I found at the grocery store tonight...

CHOCOLATE CHEX!!!

Yes, those of you who have read for years KNOW how obsessed I was with those. They were one of the first things I could stomach eating after the divorce. Like a little bowl of happy.

Then, one day, about 2 1/2 years ago, I couldn't find them anymore. I searched every store around here and nothing. My stomach mourned.

Until tonight. When, there--front and center on the cereal aisle--they were back. I literally picked them up and kissed them! I wasn't sure if I wanted to go home and eat them or lock them in my basement so they could never get away from me again.

I bought one box. I trusted that they would be there when I went back for more next week. I'm good at trusting.

It was a little moment of heaven. Which made me think of other non-traditional things my heaven would be composed of...

In Jennifer heaven (which of course is accessed by climbing a stairway):

*Every night will be clean sheet night.

*Every year will be new mattress year.

*The words "jams and jellies" will be used more frequently. Especially jellies.

*The paint on the wall will look like the paint on the swatch.

*Sporticus will be my personal trainer. Alan Rickman my personal thespian coach. And Jaime Oliver will cook jellied things for me.

*Bathrooms will be self-cleaning. Actually, whole houses will be self-cleaning, with an option to clean them manually if you're like me and kinda like to do the cleaning thing. Especially vacuuming.

*The space age machine Jane Jettson would step into that would get her dressed, do her hair, and put on her makeup will actually exist. (But flying cars will still be a thing everyone looks to the future for).

*Ben and Jerry's will come in pint, quart, gallon, and bucket sizes. And be calorie free. Also, giant spoons.

*I can sing like Barry White. And also like Rosemary Clooney. It will just depend on my mood.

*Everyone will have a witty sense of humor minus the potty mouths.

*Everyone will know all the words to songs that fit the occasion. And the dance moves. Heaven will for sure be like the coolest ever spontaneous musical.

*Monkey butlers.

*My mom will still find that joke where she put random things in my shoes for me to find (whole eggs, Matchbox cars, chicken bones) to be hilarious.

*I'll finally meet my dad and learn that maybe, he didn't die in a car accident after all, but rather a freak transporter accident that occurred when he was beaming down from the Enterprise to the surface of an alien planet.

*Hugging. All the time. Everybody. Because no one in heaven will give creepy hugs.

*Kissing, also. Lots-o-kissing. But not everybody. Just that onebody.

*We will all get to take turns ratcheting up the heat in the furnace where all the people who ever hurt kids got put.

*Wyld Stallyns concerts weekly.

*Lawrence Welk will have installed bubble machines. Everywhere.

*Polka music Thursday's.

*Tickle fight Wednesday's.

*Pizza and little smokies in the lunchroom every Friday. And no one ever sits by themselves at a table. Ever. No making fun of anyone.

*Sidewalks are covered in chalk drawings (that's Mr. Perfect's contribution. He'd also be a part of heaven.)

*Upon entrance, everyone gets a happy, giggly baby who smells of powder and fresh milk. They also get one awesome old person to be their buddy and keep everything in perspective.

*All animals are non-shedding

*Angela Lansbury is a fashion icon.

*Only my van will break. Not my heart.

*Loneliness is as foreign a concept as slide rulers or rotary phones.

*Money Schmoney.

*We find out all we really DID need was love. Or that Heaven is a woman dressed in blue. All those things songs convinced us of.

*Finally, finally, finally...more answers than questions.

*And no more weird episodes of homesickness that aren't cured even when you go home. Because, really, you never were home. Until now.