things lost, things gained

This will be short because I'm sitting in a sea of half-packed boxes that would like to be all-packed boxes, but I wasn't really sure when I'd be able to write again what with marrying, moving, and all that that entails coming up this week and next.

And yet I had to take a moment and pause here. Remember. I'll be glad I did one day.

It's been a ROUGH few weeks. Everything appeared to be coming together perfectly for Mr. Perfect and I, and then wrenches started getting thrown in left and right. Stalled checks, job plan changes, house repairs, my continuing accute ear infection and multiple doctors visits (still deaf, still infected, more antibiotics, hooray.), Mr. Perfect having some terrible nerve pain in his arms and hands, and even things like not being able to find matching dress shoes for the boys in the right sizes ANYWHERE.  I can't think of all that's left to be done or I start hyperventilating just a little lot a bit.

But this I know...it will get done. I will do it. Mr. Perfect and I will do it. In just four days this journey is coming to an end. Yup.

Friends have been so incredibly generous in every way and we feel so blessed and humbled (and other words that just turn into tears when I try to type them) to be surrounded by the caliber of people we are.

One of those friends kindly reminded me this week of all I was giving up in the marriage and move:
*My cute and cozy home
*My cat
*My amazing, diverse, hilarious group of friends
*The city I've lived in or near all my life, and my recognized place in it
*My incredibly talented writers' group
*My proximity to my siblings
*My in-law Peterson family and their farm to visit
*My job
*My other  jobs
*My radio show
*The ability to visit and care for my mom and dad's graves
*My church family
*Low taxes in a conservative state with abundant potatoes

"Is it worth it?" she wanted to know.

My answer. "Absolutely."

I always wondered if I would have the courage to give away nearly all of my stuff, pack up what was left, and--along with my family--move somewhere completely different and start something completely new. Like stories in the scriptures--Noah in his ark, the children of Israel, the people of Ammon, the pioneers.

And hey, you know what?--Turns out I do. I do have the courage. There is a "promised land" waiting for Mr. Perfect and I in joining our lives and families. I have had that confirmed and re-confirmed in my mind and in my heart, by thoughts, feelings, and actions. And silly things like ear infections and pinched nerves and lack of money and Red Seas aren't going to stop us. We're both linked in with Someone greater than both of us who doesn't always make it easy but does always make it possible. And worth it.

So, yes, I am giving up a lot. I am fully aware. It's hard. Dang hard. But I've been letting it all go in degrees over the last two months and staying focused on what I'm gaining. Which is...everything.

See you after I'm Mrs. Perfect.