Well, I'd like to be writing something brilliant tonight (or at least mildly entertaining)---but my time has been consumed making a pointless pop-up book, and writing comparison/contrast TYPE B essays on books you have never heard of, let alone ever read. I have not got to see a single episode of American Idol since Hollywood Week. I totally missed out on the SITS giveaway day (and I had some perfectly good children to give away too---hmph. :) ). The pile of laundry that needs folded is so large that I think I might put a lump of coal in there tonight to see if I have a diamond in the morning. And it's FREEZING cold here. So.....that was a wordy way of saying I GOT NUTTIN' TO SAY, MY FRIENDS.
***So how about you tell me your best corny joke.***
If I think yours is the funniest, I'll drop a child in the mail for you :)
Here's mine: What do you get when you cross and Elephant and a Rhino? An Elefino.....HA! HA! HA!
30 comments:
Why was the math book so sad?
Because it had a lot of problems!!!
What did one snowman say to the other?
Smells like carrots!!!
I love corny jokes.
You can send all four if you would like. Provided they know how to fold laundry! :)
There were two snakes in a field. One of them started freaking out and raced over to the other and says, "Quick, man, are we poisonous?" The other one says "No, why?"
The first one sighs in relief.
"I just bit my tongue."
What did the chip say to the battery?
Frito Lay if your everready
What do you call a dinosaur that tries hard? . . .
a TRY-ceratops!
this is my boys favorite joke:
where does the general keep his armies?
In his sleev-IES!!!
get it? get it? (that ALWAYS follows a good joke in our house)
This is from my 11 yr. old son.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-ideer! (no idea)
Lisa Q
What's worse than an alligator with a toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!!!
I also just found www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com - lots of funny jokes there! :)
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
You don't have to cry, it's only a joke.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. My boys love jokes and have an unending supply of them.
This might be corny to some....but I thought maybe you could use a GOOOD laugh......
Never choke in a restaurant in the south . . .
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
... Read MoreOne of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'?
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
2 men walked into a bar.
The 3rd one ducked.
*******
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and a lawyer walked into a bar.
The bartender looked at them and said "What is this, a joke?"
Did you hear that Willie was in terrible car accident?
He was out playing on the road again!
Love your blog!
One more...
Ham sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says, "sorry we don't serve food here"
I just got back from my Connor's 1st grade program...and here's a joke that was in it...."So, piggly, wiggly...what would happen if pigs were to fly??? "Um, the cost of bacon would go up!" PRITTY CORNY!!! (Was a really cute program too!)
What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts!
corny and a fart joke in one.
Got nothing for you. But enjoyed the jokes left here. I know, I'm a freeloader.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum that it could be done!
Josh's Wife, you're too funny!!!
OK, I don't know if I have any corny jokes, but I know of some crummy bread jokes. And some duck jokes that might quack you up.
Okay, after Josh'swife's story, I'm not sure why I'm bothering and I know I've heard good ones but of course don't remember them but here's a lame Halloween one:
knock knock
who's there?
Norma Lee
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't knock on doors, but it's Halloween.
it gets Lecie every time.
Now can I have Zane or Ethan? I'm in need of another slave. Thank-you.
I LOVE that picture!! SO adorable! This is Kate's latest joke, "Mom, I gonna say a knock knock joke." Me, "Okay." Kate, "Ding-dong."
Kids jokes are hilarious!
What do you call a fish without an eye/i?
Phhhhhhhhhshhhhhhhh.
my 5 yo is obsessed with saying this joke this week;
"why do we sing "take me out to the ballgame" when we're already there?"
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
She heard there was a man over there laying bricks and had to see it for herself.
Why are men's brains the size of peas?
Because they're swollen.
Ouch, I know. But I had to share. I'm not really a manhater. Only once in a while. ;)
What is Dracula's favorite holiday?
VANGSgiving! HAHAHAHAHAH
What is a ghost's favorite dessert?
You quessed it...BOOberry pie.
(You can keep the prize!)
I don't remember jokes well. But there is one I will never forget, it was the first dirty joke I had ever heard and I was in sixth grade and not sure I even understood it.
A newlywed couple were embarrassed to undress in front of each other. So they each decided they would have their backs facing each other, they would then dress in their bedclothes. The wife was opening her suit case to see what her friends had packed her to wear that night. Upon seeing the new nightgown that was not her favorite color, she yelled "Oh no, it is all pink and wrinkly" To which her husband responded "I told you not to look"
Sad, sad joke and the only one I can remember for the last 30 years.
Seven-year-old Christian has a knack for telling jokes and can come up with one for whatever we're talking about. This is our favorite one he has told us:
There are three kinds of people in the world: those that can count, and those that can't.
Please tell me you laughed! It is amazing how many people don't get that one!
I'm not sure if I have ever left a comment before but I read your blog whenever I can and I just love it. Okay, jokes...
Question: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Answer: In a SNOW BANK.
One more...
Question: What do you call cheese that is not your own?
Answer: Nacho cheese!! LOL.
God bless
I have never laughed so hard as I did at Joshswife's joke. That was pretty good. I think I'll practice it out loud a few times and then tell it one day, because I'm absolutely jokeless!!!!
My daughter lately has been reciting this one,
What do you call a snail on a ship?
A Snailor!!
hahahah
Cute for a four year old.
Corny jokes for the Curl Girl:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, it won't come anyway.
What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take it for a drag.
Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes?
Becasue it's blue tennies were in the wash.
Why did they elephant wear blue tennis shoes?
Because it's green tennies were in the wash.
Why did the elephant wear green tennis shoes?
So it could sneak across the pool table without being seen.
Ever seen an elephant on a pool table?
Must work, huh?!
And a couple not for the kids!!
What is gray and comes in quarts?
An elephant.
What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?
SWIM!!
And I forgot two more!!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way!!
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