I love my front yard.....
The Lavender in bloom. The Russian Sage reaching clear to the windows. The weeping Cedar tree growing bigger every year....
The path into my backyard where the Daisies grow 4 feet tall.
And the backyard "kid zone" where there's always room for friends and family and a game of catch the football. Vegetables in the garden. Cherries in the tree. Herbs in the pots.*sigh*
I am trying to come to grips with the fact that I probably won't get to keep this house much longer. It was supposed to be my "carry me out feet first, I'm dead" house. The one my kids made memories in and brought their kids back to. Maybe a tree house in the Willow tree as soon as it's big enough. Maybe a wedding reception in the backyard. A story behind every ding and nick. Home.
But it's a sad fact that, in all likeliness, I will not be able to afford the payments on the salary I'll have post-graduation. There may even be graduate school in my future which means packing up and going to wherever will fund me. Probably living with myself and 4 kids in an apartment.
I know a house is just a shell. The people inside and the love we have for one another is what really makes "home". Still, yeah, ugh. It will be so hard to leave this place and all it represents. It's mere presence and consistency was such a blessing to my children and I after the divorce. With so much change and turmoil....it was the place that stayed the same.
I want to always remember what it looks like to walk in the front door....
Dishes drying on the counter from the batch of cookies we just made. Bills being paid at the table where I can keep an eye on everyone. The sound of laughter (or sometimes fighting!) that always fills my ears as I step inside.
I know I should save my miracle praying for big things--life or death things---but if there's no limit on 'please send me a miracle', then I pray for a way to stay here. Amen.
Hope that wasn't too deep for Friday Fotos! I wish you all the best and ~Happy Weekending!~
10 comments:
I'm right there with you lady. The thought of ever losing my home is horrific. But, seriously if you need someone to change your attitude about it, Trish is the lady. She is such an example to me and has gone through her trial with so much grace. But hopefully you won't have to do that. We'll all keep praying for that miracle for the time being.
Praying for you today and that you get to keep your home too. Your house is lovely and you've made it such a fun space.
Sweetie, I lost my house after I got divorced as well. I wish I could tell you it wasn't painful, but it was like getting divorced all over again. I am teary now thinking about that transition. And here we are now, myself and my two babies, in a two bedroom apartment. I'm in college and working for a non-profit. My son and daughter share a room. I am looking around at all of our things and I feel .... at home.
A home is not just a shell, its a symbol of the hopes we have about what our lives will look like. But if you leave that house for whatever reason, you will be okay. It will hurt but you will take with you what matters. My babies are here in this apartment, our stuff is here, and we are happy.
Thanks for sharing the stuff that matters. I love your blog.
Sweetie, I lost my house after I got divorced as well. I wish I could tell you it wasn't painful, but it was like getting divorced all over again. I am teary now thinking about that transition. And here we are now, myself and my two babies, in a two bedroom apartment. I'm in college and working for a non-profit. My son and daughter share a room. I am looking around at all of our things and I feel .... at home.
A home is not just a shell, its a symbol of the hopes we have about what our lives will look like. But if you leave that house for whatever reason, you will be okay. It will hurt but you will take with you what matters. My babies are here in this apartment, our stuff is here, and we are happy.
Thanks for sharing the stuff that matters. I love your blog.
Jennifer, I just can't imagine having to prepare mentally to leave a place that holds so many memories.
I know God has a plan for you and He will do nothing that is not meant for your good. Hold on to that promise. Jerm.29:11
Change is hard, but great things can happen when change occurs.
Wishing you the best!
Lisa Q
I do hope sooo much this doesn't have to happen.
xxx
Dear Jennifer,
I have been thinking about your situation, and even discussed it with my dad. I told him to keep an eye out for a teaching position (I think that's what you said you were interested in) he mentioned he wished that he had an opening (I guess not too happy with their English teacher) so maybe you should contact him just in case he knows of somewhere. Just a thought but I'll be praying for something to come up.
PS: Your pathway with the daisies is wonderful. It makes me want to go out and garden now.
You'll have a beautiful space & "home" wherever you go.
I get your attachment. Especially since you put so much of you into it. You built memories in it. And the gardening! I keep telling Rob if we are going to move again we need to do it sooner than later because I don't want to plant and nurture and trim and sweat over my yard and then leave all those years of hard work behind. I will pray you get to stay. You are full of talent--something will work out.
Post a Comment