I am trying my hand at writing a screenplay. Because the astronaut's husband that is my professor is making me. And because my friends who successfully make movies (yeah, I got 'em!) swear that in the next century the written word will be completely replaced by the visual. But mostly because I've always just wanted to try. That way I can say: Poet (check). Fiction writer (check). Technical writer (check). Non-Fiction Narrative Journalist (check). Screenwriter, and.....(check).
Like anything I do, I'm trying to do the best I can at it. Most of what I have produced thus far is in the recycling bin (post-apocalyptic romantic comedy anyone?) but luckily I still have until Thursday night to come up with a good pitch and the first three pages. To help me along, I read Aristotle's Poetics for Screenwriters by Michael Tierno (and Aristotle). I actually chuckled out loud at the irony of the chapter called "Oops! I Caused My Own Undeserved Misfortune Again." In it was a list of undeserved misfortunes you can give a character that will arouse pity in audiences:
1. Death
2.Bodily assault or ill treatment
3.Old age, illness
4. Lack of food
5. Lack of friends
6. Ugliness
7. Weakness
8. Being crippled
9. Having your good expectations disappointed
10. Having good things come too late
11. Having no good things happen to you
12. Having good things happen but being unable to enjoy them
Now review my blog over the last four years and chuckle with me. Old, ugly, debilitated by Rheumatic Fever, (boy)friendless, foodless (ha!), ill-treated, weak me who has no good things happen to her. Ever.
I'm being facetious, of course. Which I love being because all the vowels are lined up in that word in their correct order and it makes the OCD in me very happy.
Except, honestly, a generous handful of the things on that list HAVE been my lot as of late. I'm sure that's why many of you read this blog. At least I notice my posts that detail how my life is proceeding like a well-orchestrated train wreck are the most read ones. I like to think that those are just the times when I'm being most vulnerable and honest, which makes for good writing, and THAT is what is attracting readers. Then again--we all like a good train wreck...as long as we're not on the train.
The trick is, and always has been, what I do with my misfortunes. I can be destroyed by them like in Gladiator. Or overcome them like in Rocky(I'm a little behind on my movie references, I know). I genuinely love the guts out of my life--unfortunate or not--and have no desire to sink into the tragic role the fates are trying to deal me. And if it means drinking three raw eggs every morning and sprinting stairs to make sure I get to do a *** fist pump of triumph*** at the top, then I will do it. And whatever else God requires of me to get to that refined place He wants me. Which I hope doesn't actually involve drinking raw eggs. And that walking to the top of the stairs is ok, too.
Now, give me some ideas to write a movie about. And quick.
~FINIS~
5 comments:
I'll tell you what mine is going to be about...a military family where the husband cheats on his wife while she is in the hospital recuperating from the birth of their twins. One of those twins will fall deathly ill and require chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant which his brother will be the donor for. Then the husband will turn to drugs and drinking to deal with his guilt and stress and the wife will try to help him by attending a 12 step program with him. And finally, it will end with him cheating on her again with multiple women. Just before the credits roll, she and her children will drive off into the sunset as he is served with divorce papers. It stars either Kate Beckensale or Anne Hathaway and will come out in early fall. ;)
I love movies about mean/bratty people who learn life lessons. Learn to work, learn to love, learn the true meaning of life... Good luck.
Okay, I know you have a mile high pile of reading, but you MUST MUST MUST read "One Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. I just finished it last night and it is about this EXACT thing. I really think you would find it fascinating. It's a true story about making a movie about his life. Quick and easy fast read.
You in Anne of Green Gables when Gilbert tells Anne to write about what she knows and the people of Avonlea? Do it. Write it based on your life experiences--maybe mixed with some fiction--I think it would make a good movie. And if Oprah were sticking around, maybe you'd end up on her show--but there's always Ellen.
facetiously > facetious
Becuz it's got the 6th vowel, also in order :-P
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