the parable of the cereal (and other stuff i learned yesterday)

Yesterday was so representative of my life that I just had to share:

After a long day at work, I came home and wanted to spend some time in the glorious sunshine watching my kids ride their bikes/scooters/skateboards. The boys pull out their wheeled things and I sit down in the grass, near my lavender plants (because they smell so good), and notice a weed...or four. So, I start to pull them...which turns into 2 1/2 hours of yard work.

At 8:30, I stop and realize I'm famished and we still haven't had dinner--and of course my dear boys haven't complained. Cold cereal seems like the fastest line between hungry and not hungry. I line up the cereal boxes on the counter and let everyone pick which kind they want. As I'm pouring the milk I realize there's not going to be enough for mine--the last bowl. Sure enough, only a few tablespoons trickle over my ducky bowl full of chocolate Mini-Wheats. The boys all offer me their bowls of cereal, which I refuse. And then they do something that will stick with me forever: Without saying a word, they each pour a little of the milk from their bowls into mine. They take a little less so we can all have sufficient.

But it doesn't stop there...

After dinner and a quick family night, L tells me about the bruise on his foot he's getting because of the hole in the bottom of his shoe. And then I realize--they've all been wearing (and wearing out) their shoes since August. I invested in name brand shoes at the start of school and they looked to be holding together well on the top, but upon inspection, sure enough--both L and E have completely worn holes in their soles.

So, I become one of "those" moms who drags all her kids out to the store when they should be in bed, and we go pick out shoes. I only have enough money for two pairs, so Z and J (whose shoes are fairing better) agree to wait a month. E, feeling bad about Z not getting shoes, uses some of the money he earned mowing a lawn over the weekend to buy  him a new Frisbee. And J, although sad he didn't get the thrill of new shoes, is content with a quarter ring out of the gumball machine as we leave. 

And as I tucked their sweet little bodies into bed that night--an hour later than they should have been there--I couldn't help but think what a microcosm of my life that day was:

*Me, getting so easily swept up in work that has to be done. The boys, sticking by my side, because they want to be near me, doing very little complaining.

*The cereal--such a representation of how we just manage to make things work, even if it's not perfect.

*The shoes--a show of how we sacrifice and take care of one another and appreciate what we have.

Stuff is really scary right now. Still. I don't like living in limbo--and even after four years of it, it doesn't sit right with me. But, I have been taken care of in miraculous ways all along, and I trust it will continue.  Not sure how, when, or by who, or what manner more of trials we'll be asked to pass through...but it will be okay. That much I know for sure.

All this crazy stuff I'm doing right now--working five jobs, volunteering, writing, continuing in school--all of it is  me trying to get myself into a position I can be there for my kids more--more time, more money. Some situation closer to what it was when I was a stay-at-home-mom. Well, I'm just glad that I (sadly) realize by the time I get there, my kids will most likely be grown and gone, or very near it. And that the trick is to just keep enjoying the journey, as wacky/loopy/bumpy/terrifying as it is...it's also pretty fun :)