As I sit here reviewing this day....I have to laugh. At first I thought of the back-to-school stuff I did with my 9 year old. I thought of the awesome strawberry-blueberry smoothie I whipped up in my new blender. I thought of how well my littlest is doing with potty training again now that we're back from vacation and in a familiar place. AND THEN I THOUGHT...... "oh yeah self! Remember how we also got in a car wreck and poisoned ourselves today?!?!" hahahahaha!!!It's true.
I did that.
Both of that's.
On my way to aerobics class this morning, I was sitting in the turning lane just minding my own business singing along to the Eddie Money song on the radio ("I got 2 tickets to paaaaradise...") when BAM! I feel the back of my van jolt. I look into my rear view mirror and into the very scared eyes of the young man in the black VW behind me. I get out of my van, legs shaky, and motion him to do the same. We both check the bumper of my vehicle and agree that we see no damage (at least I agree. He didn't speak much English. And, no, that's not me making any kind of judgements--that's just how it was). I take down his plate number anyway, and hop back into my van before the light even turns green.
Fast forward to lunch time. 3 out of 4 of the boysquad request pb&j for lunch (the 4th one requested 12 packs of Nemo fruit chews, but, yeah,...no). I whip up the sandwiches, then go to charge my cell phone. I notice the plug is out of the wall, and as I push it back into the socket--I (unknowingly) brush my hand against the Glade scented oil plug-in that resides in the socket above it. As I'm walking back into the kitchen, I notice a rather large glob of yellow stuff on the side of my hand. "Mmmmm....leftover peanut butter" I think---and. lick. it . off. (like any self-respecting, peanut-butter loving mom would do). Except.....kack! gag! ick! bluck! The nasty taste of coagulated cinnamon/nutmeg air freshener is spreading across my tongue and numbing my throat. I can taste it in my brain it's so nasty!!!
After rinsing my mouth out for 5 straight minutes and eating 3 Hershey Kisses trying to make the taste go away, I give up and just wait for it to fade. It's time to leave the house to go get my son's hair cut now anyway. At the salon, I start to feel woozy, then sick, then have to run to the salon bathroom to throw up. Then I call poison control.
"I'm feeling much better now" I tell the lady on the other end (whom I can tell is trying not to giggle at my story). She says it's a good thing I threw up or she would have sent me to a doctor. Then she instructs me to drink milk (or, as I swear I heard her say...'eat ice cream') and go to the doctor if any symptoms return.
My favorite part of the call? Probably also the reason I was feeling so **giddy** amidst the seeming craziness of the day-----um, yeah, the nutmeg/cinnamon stuff was loaded with alcohol---so, I was drunk, kinda.
Hmmmm......Maybe I should start every day with a big old lick off the Glade Plug-In :)?
34 comments:
Drunk from a plug-in. Wow. Can you imagine trying to explain THAT one to the Bishop? ;)
Well it certainly makes for a good story in the end, doesn't it? This will surely go down in your family's lore--"Remember the time Gramma licked a Glade Plug-in, got drunk and nearly KILLED herself??! HAHAHahaha!"
So much for those boring/lazy summer days.
Classic!
and I can attest to the power of those plug ins!
I spilt some of the oil on a napkin or something while I was making lunches....well, that napkin touched the entire pile of napkins and I SWEAR the lunch that was nestled all snug in it's tupperware in my lunchbox the next day....TASTED LIKE VANILLA!
Gross!
Like you said, it was BEYOND ingorable.....
I 'tasted' that smell for half a day!
Watch out for that nutmeg hangover!
Yuck!!
But I do love peanut butter!! Mmmmmmm!
PS: my blog address has changed -
www.4chooks.com
Oh my goodness, that is hilarious! Definitely made me smile. Glad everything was ok and you didn't have to visit the doc!
Sounds like you had quite the day yesterday. Poison control is great, eh? Last week I had to call because Jack fed Bennett a bunch of hand cream, I think they were trying not to laugh at me, too.
Woooaaa! You do come back with a bang! And great writing! Loved every word. So glad you and your mom van weren't hurt. And ya, we all would have licked it. She was probably laughing because you were the 5th mom that day to call with the same problem :-)
Does it talk about Glade Plug-Ins in the D and C ? Hot drinks, meat... Glade Plug-Ins :)
That is certainly a day to remember!
That's great! I did something similair, only I'm not sure what I licked that I thought was food though.
Glad to see you back.
That is too funny. In case you didn't know, we're moving to Washington. So we won't be seeing you around as often, however, I will continue to read your blog as you are always full of surprises. Like getting drunk from Glad plug-ins. :o)
that is CRAZY!!!! and very, very nasty---i think that you've been around boys too long and picked up the "lick-before-you-smell" syndrome---you might want to start doing that from now on. ;-)
Can you imagine all the stories those operators at poison control must have?
But a Glade plug-in? Ewww...
Can we please put a video survelliance camera at your house?! It would be so much fun!
I've got to go get some Pug-Ins. I canNOT keep up with the monsters today. And the heat came back. And the husbands wearing pants at work that he pulled out of the bottom of the hamper. But I haven't been in any accidents, or thrown up, so I guess we're okay. ;)
I had no idea that stuff could be so potent! Holy cow. I've made lots of notes to self with this post. Glad you're ok :)
Welcome back! I'm glad you didn't rear-end anyone yourself and have to take a breathalizer test. Imagine having to explain your "buzz" to a police officer! Bet your breath would have smelled good, though, as you explained the whole sordid (or scented) tale to him.
I'm glad you weren't hurt in the car accident......I'm still laughing about the poison. But only b/c you are OK. :)
And P.S. So glad you are back!
huh, funny... my daughter licked a glade plug in several times when she was two. I found her sitting on the floor saying, "CANDY! yuck" as she licked. My husband, who was on kid duty, was asleep on the couch. Poison control wasn't concerned, saying she might just have some diarrhea. I wonder if its because hers was vanilla scented?
And that is why we keep coming back for more!! J/K (sort of)! Haha!
I promise I didn't laugh at this post! But if I did it was because of your last sentence!! HILARIOUS!
Sorry to hear about the van, and thank goodness there wasn't any damage! As for the glade plug in YIKES! I'm gla'de you're feeling better! :)
Yucko!!
Good thing you weren't Glade Plug In drunk before the wreck...cops might have thought that was a likely excuse! :)
Good thing you weren't Glade Plug In drunk before the wreck...cops might have thought that was a likely excuse! :)
Mmmmmm....sounds tasty! I hate it when you can taste a smell. It lingers forever!
What a day! I'm so glad you are okay. I'm glad you're back.
XOXO
Jen
jennifer P! This is what endears you to us!!! This is why we love you so much!! I don't think you need a glade plug in to jump start the day but it makes for fun reading..kisses...Jennifer
Wow that's the ickiest and funniest poisoning story I've ever read! And that's saying a lot!!
Oh my, Jennifer, what can I say? Thanks for demonstrating that Poison Control is not just for the kiddies!
Just picture me laughing my head off, thinking how so very witty you are with your storytelling and thinking I can't believe that exact situation Hasn't happened to me ...yet!
My oldest used to put EVERYTHING in her mouth when a toddler. I had to call poison control five times (I swore if I had to call again I was going to say I was Rob's sister--I was afraid they were going to take the child away from me). It didn't matter what she had eaten--gas, raw chicken juice, the "do not eat" beads in the box of new shoes--they ALWAYS said "give her milk and watch her for a few hours." Without fail. I think it is the standard response.
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