and this too shall pass

One thing I've always loved about myself is that I'm resilient. You can knock me down. You can hurt me....but I don't give up. I for sure come up against times (like the last entry) where I have to shout "It's too much!".... but I think that's the point God actually wants to push me to, knowing that when I'm weak and turn to Him is when I'm the strongest.

I have felt such an outpouring of love and concern over these past two days......

*Your comments on my blog meant more to me than I can say (which is a lot, because--as you can tell, I'm not usually at a loss for words!)

*My boys seemed to get along better and say "I love you Mom" more often than normal. Just a little physical peace in our home did my soul good.

*Being the silly woman I am--I simultaneously entertained myself and was helped to feel better by learning the whole dance routine from Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" video (oh yes I did! And I can rock it too :]! ).

*Green Eyes came over during his lunch break just to hug me, making sure I knew I didn't have to talk about what had happened with Brad--just that he was there for me. Later, while I was at the gym, he came back to my house and left a card on my pillow (and since the man IS a poet, you can only imagine all the good stuff he came up with in it :]).

*Later that night, my friend "the Ninja" came by with chocolate creme brulee that he'd made himself. The best part--he hadn't caramelized the sugar on top yet but had brought the torch to let me do it. Because, really, who isn't made to feel better by playing with a little fire? He then proceeded to spend the next hour just making me laugh in a way only Ninjas can.

What a blessing to be surrounded by the best people on earth. This will not be an easy road I have been called to walk, but God is so good to me. He seems to have this perfect system of pushing and releasing in place--one that is making me stronger than I ever even imagined I could be.

Finally, several of you mentioned counseling for me. Don't worry--I've got that one covered. The last therapist I saw--first when my mom died, and again after Brad and my separation, actually threw his hands up in the air and said something like "I got nothing! You are obviously a very self aware person who has taken a lot of psychology classes. You seem to understand your weaknesses and your reasoning behind your behavior. I COULD continue to see you, but unless you feel you need it, how about we just wait until you come up against something you can't do". I feel like I've got a few issues here I'm not sure how to tackle now, and I'm not afraid to ask for help.

So....there you go! As my sweet father-in-law always says: the scriptures say "and it came to pass", never "and it came and stayed and stayed and stayed". Thank goodness for that.

And now, if you think you can keep up with me....here ya go.Have fun! (sorry for the lingerie shot..) :)