I find it fitting that my upcoming birthday party will have a **circus theme**. Mostly since it kinda feels like I'm perpetually in one---doing the balancing act. It's been a strange year so far. For a long time, I was like a car running on the memory of gas. I knew if I could just keep going, I'd make it....somewhere, someplace to refuel. About February my brain finally figured it out and said...."heeeey! There's no gas here! We shouldn't still be running! I'm stopping! Or at least slowing down."And that's where I've been. Kind of stalled along the road. Oops. Did I just bring another metaphor into this story? I've always liked those metaphors. But back to the balancing---
On one hand, I feel like I have all these people telling me to "just go for it!", "take a chance", "follow your heart", "you're so talented--use it!". On the other hand, I have people telling me to be cautious, take my time, follow the safe path, be wise and prudent.
And it's hard to be adventurous and safe at the same time. So I just sit here, wondering exactly where it is I'm suppose to go next. What it is I'm supposed to do next with my life? I would lean toward the risk-taking side, but it doesn't seem fair to drag my kids into an unknown situation like that. And yet I would never want to be without them because they're my joy and my biggest cheerleaders--they might even be up for a good adventure in Riskland!
Third metaphor: I'm like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Either I'm going to come out this amazing butterfly, or I'm going to come out still a caterpillar--one thankful for the nice two week rest I had in that sack-thingie--and crawl back home.
I wish I had someone to make the decisions for me. To tell me just what to do to be successful and find that place where I feel some security again. To point me to the nearest gas station for a refill. To please get me off this stupid balance ball already and let me drive the motorcycle around the 'globe of death' which is what I've secretly wanted to do all along :).
Is there a point to this? Other than to pepper you with metaphors? Probably not. But I feel better for writing it. And I'd feel a lot better if any of you had some career and/or life advice. Thanks :)
10 comments:
ADVICE?!! Haaa haaa haaaaaaaa. Ahem. Well. There's always joining the circus. You're welcome!
{I did just pray for clear guidance for you - and that really is the best I can do!}
I hope you have wise friends and leaders to council with. I also would wish upon you a ginormous check in the mail :)
Advice? Are you kidding? I'm the worst when it comes to life advice. I'm just a cheerleader.
i've got nothin' for you --- except enjoy your birthday party
b/c i think that i'm right there in metaphor #2 with you ---- thinking that if i just keep going "something" is bound to change or improve (i keep praying that it will....)
i think that you can be both adventerous AND cautious at the same time --- and i think that you do a pretty good job of doing that without realizing it (perhaps...)
i'll be your cheerleader too :)
I don't have any good advice, considering I'm still trying to figure out exactly what my passion is. Look at the bright side- at least you know what you want to do- you're way ahead of me! I'm sure if you do something and you love it, you can find some way to make it your career. I'm sure it will all work out in the end.
It's hard to give advise when the two options are unknown. I think you can take risks but in a cautious manner (by which I mean prepared). One would not go sky diving without a parachute (unless that person had a death wish). I think that being cautious in risk taking means placing yourself in the best possible position for success in whatever risk your are taking. I hope that makes sense.
Wishing you the best. A loyal reader.
I wish I knew the answers, to your life AND mine. I wish I could be okay with not knowing what will come next and some days I am. Other days it gets under my skin and I can't even stand it. Sigh... I long for the days when I have to take my child into consideration. Soon, hopefully.
Sorry, no advice! Just hugs (hug!)
One of my favorite quotes is: "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived." (From Strictly Ballroom). I say don't be afraid to take risks, especially if that is where your heart leads you. Kids are remarkably resilient and if they know you love them (and they do!) then if your risks turn out to be mistakes it won't be a big deal. Everybody learns together and nobody expects you to be perfect. :)
I also would wish upon you a ginormous
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