dear future husband

My sweet, fellow single friend recently wrote a letter to her future husband as part of her Facebook status. It made me a little teary. It also made me think of what I would want my future husband to know. Maybe this sounds like something Ingrid Michaelson would be strumming a guitar to and singing, but it’s from my heart…and sometimes you just gotta let your heart hang out a bit to remind you it's still there

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Dear Future Husband,

I realize I have been garnering a lot of attention from very young men lately, and I guess I’m flattered in kind of a weird way, but please do not be 25. Please be old enough to remember actually wearing parachute pants. Please look a little like Brian Setzer circa 1984 and a little like Sportacus. Please own at least one hipster t-shirt and one goofy hat and wear them on a regular basis. Please be a lot like Jesus (in a trying to follow Him sort of way, not in the robe/ sandals/ beard way. Also do not be able to walk on water because that would probably freak me out a little). ~~~ Please take me to the temple. Please take me to the roller derby. Please bring me home heart-shaped rocks you find while out on walks. Please take me on some of those walks with you and lace your fingers through mine. Please scratch my back before I go to sleep. Please dance with me in the kitchen. Please let me ride standing on the back of the shopping cart as you push it really fast through the parking lot.

Future Husband, please know that being overly spoiled makes me uncomfortable but being acknowledged doesn’t. When you walk by me, pat me on my head, or better yet gather me up in your arms, and give me a sincere compliment. I need those. Catch my eye from across the room and momentarily make me think we’re the only two in it. I promise I will always be as wonderful as you think I am. And for crying out loud, let me help you in whatever way I can, too. Let me be your soft place to land emotionally. Your helpmeet. Put me to work, let me make things easier for you. I’m one tough cookie and we’re in this together after all.


If you happen to have kids, trust me enough to love them like my own. That's an easy thing for me to do. My heart has so much room in it. And my boys…please love them too. They are the very best parts of me. Show them what a man is supposed to be, how he should treat a woman, how he should treat people around him, how to tie a tie and cut something down with an ax and maybe belch the alphabet (I will pretend to be offended at that last one, but secretly I will be laughing).

It’s been three years of fighting this battle alone, Future Husband. I’m a bit war-worn. I have a feeling you might be, too. Let’s spend a lot of time laughing, ok? And singing badly to songs on the radio. And talking. And praying together. And doing a lot of shameless kissing. Drinking in the safety after such a long journey.

Finally, thank you for giving me a chance. I know I’m usually like the 20th most attractive person anyone knows—which means you probably had a lot better options than me physically speaking, so thank you for seeing and appreciating the things in me that don’t fade with time. And yet thank you, too, for loving the gold behind the brown in my eyes. Loving my smile and that one freckle on my stomach next to my belly button. For telling me I look just as beautiful when I wake up in the morning with my hair poking up at odd angles and still wearing my retainer as I do when I’m all glammed up. I will love you too. Even if you lose your hair or take to wearing sandals with socks. Even if you gain 20 pounds and your hipster t-shirt doesn’t fit anymore. Just promise me one day, you’ll sing this song to me and mean every word. That will be enough for me.

Also, I will be as patient as I need to be to make sure you get to me when you’re supposed to, in God’s time frame and in His way, but also—will you hurry up already? That is all.

xoxo,
Jennifer P.