things that make me feel old

I am two weeks away from being 36. Thirty. Six. Not that I'm ashamed of my age (and y'all know how much I loves my birthdays) but that 6 after that 3 means I've stepped over the middle line of my 30's. I'm pretty sure I was just turning 30 a few days ago, so I don't even know how this six extra years happened. I'm like Logan in Logan's run wanting my hand crystal to stop flashing because I'm not REALLY that old! (first thing to make me feel old: referencing Logan's Run and realizing some of you have no idea what I'm talking about. I won't even start with Thunderdome.)

ALSO.....

Do you know that kids who turn 18 this year were born in 1993? The year *I* turned 18? Yeah.

Sometimes I think about the bands Hanson and Ace of Base and still think of them as "new and fresh". Also, I still say the words "new and fresh"

I was at a Quasi-Stellar Radio/ Dear Hunter/ The Trophy Fire/ Dredg concert a few weeks ago--and it was amazing--with lots of loud guitars and pounding drums and tons of energy...and I still felt sleepy. Even considered kind of curling up in my chair and just grabbing a quick nap.

Sometimes I describe how I want my bangs to be cut by refering to Kelly from Beverly Hills 90210.

I find myself saying things I remember my mom saying...things that come from the deepest recesses of my mind that I didn't even know I remembered, like, "I can't is a word too lazy to try." Also, my hands are starting to look like my mom's...minus the pretty nails.

I miss rotary dials. And typewriters. And the high-pitched squeal and static of my computer logging onto America Online.

My hair is 50% gray (or at least my hairdresser tells me so I'll keep coming back to her for color every month)

I have been described using the words MUMBLE-Y and SHUFFLE-Y

I use Oil of Olay. I worry about my fiber. I drive the speed limit. I vote in every election. On occasion, nothing tastes so good as a Tums.

I've got my eye on a red Hoveround....ya know, for when I hit 40. (I also can't look at a Hoveround without singing "Round, round, get around, I get around....")

But, the part of me that understands age is just a number, must also proudly proclaim that:

*I attempted to use a corded phone at work today and actually had to ask for help because I couldn't find the "send" button (this could also mean I'm senile, but I'm going with the fact that I'm SO young and hip I only know how to operate a cell phone!)

*The kids at the skate park still think I'm the coolest mom there because I ride with my boys

*I can strut around in a pair of high, high heels like it was nothing. I can even run in them. I couldn't do THAT when I was young.

*the night of my graduation party, I got scolded by a waitress for dancing on a chair to Hava Nagila.

AND

*While listening to music, I've never, ever, ever told my kids to turn it down :)

Yup.

For as often as I don't recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror--the experience in her eyes, the lines around her mouth, her high cheekbones void of baby fat-- she's not too bad looking either. She looks....wise. A look all the plastic surgeons in Hollywood couldn't re-create. As Charlie Parker (famous jazz musician) once said,  "If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." So, I'm glad I've lived---lived good, lived hard, lived through triumph and tragedy, heartbreak and healing, lived till the living is evident on me--because when I play my horn (or my equivalent of writing) you can tell I know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis.

What makes you feel old today?