makeover/ make over

Technically I finished up my orthodontic work almost a year ago when I got the last plastic button removed from my teeth and was ordered to wear my retainer only at night. I opted for Invisalign retainers instead of 6 months in braces because I thought they'd be, you know...."invisible." Well, two years later, wearing those Invisalign trays 22 hours a day, with numerous little plastic 'buttons' glued on to the outside of my teeth so they would have something to grip, and having to learn to speak clearly with a layer of plastic over my teeth...that one and half crooked teeth I had were straight as can be.

My orthodontist, Tooth Nazi that he is, still sees me every 3 months to make sure everything is staying straight. Today, during our appointment, he reminded me: "I gave you this toothpaste commercial smile so you could get a husband. You need to get on that!"

I chuckled of course, fighting the urge to tell him how un-p.c. it was to tell a woman she needed a husband, then remembered back about 3 1/2 years ago when I first went in to his office for a consult. I probably did mention something humorous about wanting to fix my teeth so I could find a husband.

After my divorce, I got hyper focused on all my little flaws, feeling there must be something horrible about me physically that drove my ex-husband away.

I lost 30 pounds (not on purpose--thanks, Rheumatic Fever...although I have been the one retaining the weight loss at 25 pounds). I chopped off all my hair into an a-line bob and dyed it black (then let it grow long and went red). Noticing I had to wear my glasses more and more, I went and had my eyes lasered. I traded in my mom jeans for jeans with glittery pockets and white stitching. I bought dark red lip stain. I bought fancy anti-aging moisturizer. I bought Spanx and a WonderBra. And finally, I went to see the orthodontist.

before

after

The result: I do often get mistaken for being in my late 20's, and field my share of being hit on by 25-28 year olds. But really, if you look at me closely, you'll see the laugh lines at the corners of my eyes, the worry lines parenthesizing my mouth. You'll see that my roots contain increasing amounts of gray. If you come to my house any time after 9pm, you'll see that my 'night clothes' consist of one of six pairs of gray yoga pants and some snarky t-shirt.  You'll see my hands are starting to look vein-y and hardworked, like my mother's. And a lot of other physical reasons to place me closer to the 36 1/2 I am.

However, the best 'makeover' I underwent post-divorce, the one I really do feel makes me look younger--and certainly FEEL younger--was in my attitude. I realized for how long I had been living in a bubbled comfort zone. I didn't trust my wit or my intelligence outside of my close circle of friends. I hadn't listened to anything but jazz music and Barney songs for years. I never really tried anything new because I didn't have anyone to try it with. And my silliness was reserved only for my children.

For the last 4 years, I have been stepping further and further out of that comfort zone...and feeling less and less uncomfortable doing it. The circle of friends I once had--all married, fellow members of my church--are still treasured friends, but have been augmented by others of all ages, marital statuses, and backgrounds. I can now comfortably give a reading of my work in front of a large group of people and almost not shake when I do it. I'm not as intelligent as some of my friends, but I hold my own. I re-discovered my love for indie-music and now spend many weekends at concerts, hanging out with the musicians afterwards, and even occasionally putting up for the night some bands traveling through my town.  I have learned to longboard, snowboard, plank, kickbox, fix stuff around my house, play roller derby, and shoot. I manage to cobble together some pretty creative outfits. I throw an unforgettable party. And gosh darn it (!) I think I'm pretty darn hilarious and witty, to boot.

In short, I am in love with life. Including my life. And I think it shows.

So, even if you can't afford laser eye surgery, or orthodontic work (and trust me--skip the Spanx and Wonder Bra...ouch), you CAN give your life attitude a makeover. Remember something you used to love to do and do it again. Re-learn the clarinet or crank up the music and see if you can still dance. Take a free community class, maybe join a book club--whatever it takes to meet some new people, preferably ones who can give you a fresh perspective. Make friends with an old person. Make friends with a young person. Next time you walk down the street, try skipping just a little bit, or balance along the curb, maybe stretch out your arms and make airplane noises--something to remind you how fun it is just to be you, right then, walking down the street. Don't care if people look at you strangely. What they're really thinking when they give you that sidelong glance of suspicion is: Why didn't I think of that?

Also, be prepared to possibly take home the numbers of a few cute, young guys. Just a caveat of a carefree attitude :)