i won't go (only because you said please!)

You talked me into it. Actually--I talked myself into it. I'm here. Still. With a theme song, apparently.

I read carefully through everyone's comments and emails, and honestly considered what you were saying.

You are all so wonderful---have I told you that lately?

I toyed with the idea of going private--but that kills anyone else new getting to join in the party--and I love new people! I've also never feared for my safety or that of my family, so going back and taking the kajillion hours to change the names in 385 posts may or may not be a necessity for me. I don't care if my blog makes me money or not (though I fully support people who DO use their blogs for this purpose, and Miki--that was a fabulous idea and one I may take up one day!). I don't feel burned out on blogging or ready to quit---in fact, I think I may even still have a few stories up my sleeve.

I just got scared was all. Because I was me....

The truth is I am kind of a walking enigma. I am a trained dancer who routinely walks into things and trips over air. I am a fairly eloquent writer who needs to have a foot permanently sewn to my tongue, because at least then people would understand what usually happens when I speak. I don't often know how to reflect on the outside how I really, really feel on the inside.This blog lets me be me---really me----in the clean, edited, thought -about -mode that I wish I could operate in on a daily basis. I use it as a way to remember things and to write through difficult times. And if I can be of help to anyone else just being me--exposed--while I'm helping myself along, then it only makes the process all the more meaningful. Heck!--Even if some of you are just reading because my life resembles a bit of a train wreck from time to time, go ahead. I'm happy to be the one that you might point to and say "at least I'm not HER!" :).

So, I'm here. And will continue to be here until my heart tells me it's time to stop. Do I still feel limited as to what I can and cannot talk about on here? Yeah--a bit. But, really who wants to know EVERYTHING anyway?! (except you creepy Google guy--how many times do I have to tell you to get out of here anyway?)


I'll still be hiding some of myself---but not too much. I think about this much .....

And, really, where else is a girl going to put up a picture of herself baking cookies in a motorcycle helmet and have it work somehow? Respect the Blog!

Thank you so much for your kind words. If I ever DO go private, you KNOW I'm dragging you all into password he** with me :)! Wouldn't have it any other way.