Anyway, the Germans have two words to categorize people you know: one is "bekannte" which means "acquaintance", and the other is "freund" (or "freundin" if they're female) meaning "friend". The word for acquaintance was used FAR more frequently than the word for friend. If a German called you a "freund", chances are they 1. had known you for years and you had proved yourself loyal over time, 2. You had just saved them from dying a terrible death, or 3. they'd been drinking waaaaay too much Jagermeister and you just happened to be nearby.******* I guess that kind of thinking--of separating acquaintances from friends---just made its way into my subconscious and I have gone the past I don't know how many years with lots of "bekannte", but only a handful of "freunden" (that's plural for "freund", unless it's female plural and then it's "freundinen"---aren't you learning lots?!). Not that I didn't treasure my friends, and acquaintances too, and enjoy my time with them---I was just married to my best friend and chose to lay most of my time and energy with him. And now he's gone. And suddenly all those acquaintances are quickly hopping the line in my mind over to the friend side. In fact, and gratefully so, I've had friends come out of the woodwork to support me. Their calls and visits break up the monotony of my day. Their laughter keeps the laughter in me alive. And their prayers give me strength beyond my own. It might not be very "German" of me---but I am THRILLED to be suddenly surrounded by so many friends.
A few of those new friends joined the boys and me on Monday night to sit around the fire pit and make s'mores. Love these guys!--- They've treated me no differently after my divorce than before---except that I think I know them better now. ~Thank you Bishops and Hodges!~
There was lots of talking and lots of laughing and lots of sticky fingers. And it was healing. Wish you could have all been there--- because you're most certainly my FRIENDS too :) !!!
and on another note:
*******HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAMIE!!! I KNOW THIS ISN'T SNAIL MAIL.... BUT THE WISH COMES FROM MY HEART! ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!**********
26 comments:
♡ It looks like your guys had a great time! :)
you are so very loved! why does it seem like you are doing so much more fun stuff now than before--isn't life funny that way.
Heart you girl and have a great day! PS your yard looks beautiful!
you are divorced ?
It's funny how I was thinking of all my bloggy friends as FRIENDS. Like, real people I can count on to help me and support me. I was thinking about how it would be if we all met up in person. Would it be the same? I would like to think so.
I wish we could pick a place in the middle, and all just caravan there and meet up. I bet it would be fun, and silly and real.
Glad all those people are with you.
God is so good. One of my prayers for you has been that friends and family will rally around you in support for your day to day needs. It just crushes me everytime I read that you had to do something alone. We in the blogosphere can pray for you but can't be there to help you in the day to day because of proximity. I am thrilled to see these prayers being answered in a very real way...that people ARE coming forth to support you. As I said, God is so good.
S'mores are good for the soul. On a quick side note, we tried them this weekend with peanut butter cups instead of Hershey's. Oh. My. Stars.
I'm really proud of you, Jennifer. I know this is awful and painful and it really, really sucks. BUT, you're pushing through and living. You are embracing friends and letting yourself laugh and that is priceless for your boys right now. You are a strong, wonderful mom and I'm cheering you along. We all are.
your a dear! thanks for the shout out...sometimes that is better than snail mail--i think that i might just get more hits on my blog this way ;)
keep truckin'!
It is funny you should define friends for us. I was just telling a close friend of mine how strange it is that I read stranger's blogs and feel a conection. I feel like I know them as friends. I read your blog regularly and I would be proud to call you my friend. It helps that we seem to have a lot in common--I grew up near Boise, love writing (I went to Boise State for a year before marrying), took five years of German (without the practice to keep it up), am LDS, love interior design. . . but even still, without all that, you are an amazing person. I hope this message makes you smile.
Serious,
We did :)!
Nester,
Nice to see your face up here--but you're up too early!! Did you see my star? I painted it ORANGE! Now I just need a collection like yours!
Anonymous,
Wonder who you are? But--no I'm not officially divorced. More than seperated, but still waiting for all the final paperwork to come through. I've prayed and begged for reconciliation for nearly 2 months and my husband just wants to be free and alone---so, that kind of made the final decision.
Sissy,
Somehow I picture us all meeting in a big campground and we all have those cool silver, retro trailers---and though we all hang out and laugh and talk, we all still have our laptops with us.... :)!!!
Debbie,
THANK YOU!!! I feel those prayers!
Heather,
Thanks for making my heart smile this morning. It so good to have supporters. And I am suddenly in the mood to have peanut butter s'mores----yum-o!
Tamie,
I'll see if I can't slip something in the mail to you anyway! I love belated b.day cards---just keeps the love going :)!
I feel a little funny leaving a comment for you on this particular post. I feel it should be reserved only for your very close friends. As I am not that yet, but a good acquaintence, I will at least say that I think you're hanging in there (and the porch looks fabulous too--you always remind me to use your spaces and enjoy them!). I'm glad I get to be a small part of your life in some way, even if it is only to say a few kind words over the internet, and every once in a while, have a good lunch with you and Elena! Maybe next time, we can all go for pasta!! YUMMM!
Jenni,
Looks like you were typing at the same time I was! I just left a comment up on your blog. Thanks for reading and linking me. It's so great to find kindred spirits out here in blogland. Your comment DID make me smile :)!
Miki,
Nope. Sorry. Like it or not--you've now jumped the acquaintance/friend line too! And yes--we for sure need to get some pasta next time!
Yippee! I've got a friend!(Yelled aloud in the quiet of my office.) Well I've got a lot of people who I call "friends" but I don't know what they call me. "A lady I know from church." "The girl around the corner" "The mother of my daughter's friend", you get the idea. And this post made me feel so good. Thanks :)
glad you are surrounded by good people who are helping to take care of you. It certainly helps. And, good job on your yard-it's looking beautiful. give those boys hugs for me.
k
Hope I'm one of those freundinen. :) Actually I've always considered you a friend, but truly started feeling CLOSE to you when you started blogging. How weird is that? And it's funny that you gave the definition for all those German terms. I had a cat in highschool named Friend. And my ONE semester of German, I thought I was being so clever calling HIM Freundinen for a nickname. Poor thing, I femalized him. Yay, for great neighbors. I so badly need some here!
Jennifer you are soooo funny!!! You make me feel good. Thank you for saying that....friend. Sniff..
smiling...
Should I feel bad that I haven't been over to enjoy your cool new patio?? Just kidding. I think sometimes when we get married we tend to lose the side of us that collects friends rather than acquaintances. Hopefully we are friends. Has Amanda talked to you about going out next week??
How nice to see that beautiful new backyard area in use! What a wonderful friends. It is truly a true friend who can see you no differently regardless of what's going on in your life - they love you for YOU.
You really are such an inspiration. You are finding the pleasure in everyday. I love how you brought this post full circle. Your writing is such a pleasure to read.
Your attitude and determination to keep on living...truly living, is the best example you could ever give those boys. They are going to have some challenge in finding a woman with half of your strength and grace. You have set the bar high.
Jennifer - Cherish the friendships my blogging friend: they are smart people to know how great you are! How very wonderful to spend a laid-back, gorgeous night outside together. You and your boys are blessed.
What a sweet post! I agree with Debbie's comments. I'm so glad you have supportive people around you. As a German-speaking, home-decorating, poem-writing, homeschooling mom of four, I have a hunch that you get a lot of respect and admiration. And a lot of "How do you do it all?"
You remind me -- and others, I'm sure -- of the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 19. We read that her husband praised her and her children rose up and called her blessed, but I can't help but wonder if anyone understood her. I hope she had at least one godly friend. Someone with whom she could share her joys and frustrations, laughter and tears.
So I'm hoping you have an ever-widening group of close friends in your church and community eager to offer compansionship, support and understanding. I'm happy to be one of the blogging friends who is always ready to listen!
I am so glad that you have supporting friends around you in so many circles. Even in the cold, rainy weather of Memorial day they share that time with you and your boys.
My mother speaks German and I so wish that I could talk with her in that wonderful language. All I remember from High School German is how to order a Big Mac in German and the song that goes with it.... you know, two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion, on a sesame seed bun. That is the sum amount of my German. Impressive huh?
My husband is trying to teach me some German. I am not very good at it. ;) I too loved this post and any minute I have to check in on Jennifer and the Boy Squad!! How is school going? Are you back in it yet? Enjoying the academia? I would love to hear about your adventures- Kam
Your patio is awesome! glad you are getting some good use out of it. I love the red star, now you must have a little bit o' Texas running through those viens of yours if you hang up a star on your house. ;)
It really looks like you are doing amazing Jennifer, I look up to you. You've sure kept your wits about you and I really admire you for that. I would just be a mess inside and out. I can tell you really know who you are!
Everybody needs friends like those people! Glad you have them---and all of us too :)
You had me at S'mores!
My great grandpa was the first of 13 kids not to be born in Germany. (He was #11) Unfortunately, the only words I know aren't that blog friendly. But now I know who to come to for translation.
Iche leib diche! (Did I spell it correctly?)
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