SOOOOOO each Wednesday, that ever-so-honest Mama Kat gives everyone who blogs for the love of writing an assignment, and then we use that smarty pants Mr. Linky to hook up on her blog. I have really enjoyed what Carrie has written for the past two weeks, and I thought I'd give it a shot.
The task this week was to write about a scary encounter with a teacher. I would LOVE to tell you about that---except I never had a scary one. I've had some not-so-intelligent teachers, but never one that scared me in any way, shape, or form. Hopefully I'll be forgiven for taking a little creative license to tell you about a teacher I had a crush on instead.
I was 14. And in Idaho when you were 14 (at least back in 1989)---you could drive. A car! Crazy--I know! But I'm certain that that's what made all us young Idahoan girls feel so grown up . At least I remember feeling very "mature" that year. About 15 years ago, I wrote a poem about the whole experience, so I'll be taking MORE creative license and speaking in prose to you....
(and Summer---NO LAUGHING! since I'm pretty sure YOU had a crush on him too :)! )
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THE YEAR I READ LOLITA
The year I read Lolita,
I do so in the darkest corner of the library,
for fear of being spied and lectured to
by some do-gooder librarian who doesn't think it's age-appropriate material.
The disquiet accelerates my eyes' speed
and I'm through it in three afternoons.
When I finish, I press the closed pages to my pounding heart,
and decide that finding an older man is the only way to go about things.
And it so happens in the same year I have this incredible English teacher
who drives a sporty little thing of a car with pop music pouring out is open windows,
who wears leather ankle boots and a small, silver earring.
Who is really just like "us" except with facial stubble and a divorce.
He is not despicable or brutal, but he'll do for an Humbert.
When he assembles a writer's club, I'm the first of eight to sign up.
After one of the meetings, he takes us all out for Cokes at the Denney's.
and because I've fallen quite in love with him by this time,
I look at the event as though it's our first date--
sitting next to him in the booth and wishing everyone else invisible.
Each time he moves, his sweater's soft wool brushes against my arm,
and I swear the air is so thick and sweet I can hardly gulp it down.
How Nabokovly divine it all is.
A few weeks later, I try to tell him how I feel.
While helping to grade a stack of quiz papers, I remark--off-handedly as I can--
that I need a boyfriend twenty-five or older, then use my palms to cover the quick pink in my cheeks.
He laughs between red slashes, calls me "jail bait".
I have to ask three friends what the term means, and when I finally find out--
take it as a compliment.
By early May though, there are still no secret drives around the lake,
no long, slow gazes when he passes me in the hall, no notes telling me to meet him after class.
I'm no nymphet.
So my teenaged longings wander off toward the "kind of "men at the high school across town.
But before the whole quest is completely drowned in the swimming pools of summer,
I write him a letter--far more heated than anything I can muster even now,
and almost leave it on his desk. Then, fearing it may get him in trouble,
I fold it instead into the pages of my yearbook next to the place he's signed with a little heart
by his name
where it lays dormant today--
Fantasy relapsing only when my eyes are closed and my lips about to meet anothers
when I hope-- just maybe-- to taste a bit of stubble.
****I know! I was and am and will forever remain a BIG, PATHETIC DORK! But still I want to know---did any of YOU have a crush on a teacher?!
******hilarious (or not) update: apparantley I'm such a NAUGHTY writer that my friend Summer's computer actually BLOCKED this post. WHAT AM I COMING TO?! :)
****Hmmm....there seems to be an abnormal amount of **** going on here.... I just have to add that I realize Lolita is a very, uh, racy book and that the, uh, "things" that took place in it were not what I had in mind for my poor English teacher. I was a good girl. And stayed a good girl. Just with a very active imagination. Some things never change!
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38 comments:
Wow that is awesome. Brave, brave, brave to admit that "out loud". Who hasn't had a crush on a teacher, ecspecially a good teacher who inspires you to learn and grow. It's inevitable.
For the most part, we had old and ugly teachers when I was in school ... there was a mass retirement shortly after I graduated ... sigh.
Ah! I loved this story! I don't think Mama Kat will mind at all! So funny!
I once had a crush on an P.E. Coach Intern. He knew it b/c my friend and I basically jokingly hit on him daily. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it(he was only a few years older than us anyway!)because he would always ask us to "run his errands" and whatnot so we wouldn't have to participate in whatever Physical activity was planned for the day. VICTORY!
I can't think of a teacher crush I had. Maybe one will come to me later. It seems like all my teachers were either hairy, gray, or female.
Your poem is golden, loved it!
I remember getting my license the day after I got out of 8th grade and thinking I was so cool because all the younger kids in my class hadn't been able to get into drivers ed. with me. I was quite popular that summer.
When I was a senior in high school we had a consumer ec. teacher that had just graduated from college, so he was only four years older than us and pretty cute. I think all the senior girls had a small crush on him because he was darn near our age and was quite flirty. He would let me drive his motorcycle and truck whenever I wanted to, so everyone was pretty jealous. It probably had more to do with the fact that he worked with my parents than that he liked me in a boy/girl way.
I did have a crush on one of my professors my first year of college! Looking back on it I laugh but at the time it was fun to crush on someone like that!!
Boy, you were a brave little 14 year old! So funny! I never had any cute teachers. In fact I think I can count on one hand the male teachers I had. So nope, no crushes for me.
I had a mild crush on an economics teacher my junior year, but I knew he went for the really sporty athletic girls and flirted with them shamelessly. The teacher I really had a thing for was my first year at college. He was my German teacher and fairly young. I had him two semesters, but I also met my husband and got engaged during the second semester and when I announced that I was going to get married and leave the state over the summer I like to think he seemed a little disappointed!
I had a crush on my 5th grade teacher. I am sure I didn't tell anyone. Now, thirty some years later I realize he has been a patient at our dental office for years. I got to work on him a few weeks ago and it was pretty fun talking about the school and everything we remembered about it. He is still quite handsome! ha
Great story! And aren't you SO glad you took that letter back? My God, the mortification... I'd still be feeling it today, I think.
PS... I LOVE your background/wallpaper/colorful squares/Dick and Jane thingy... very cool :)
omg! i just luv how you write! and not only WHAT you actually write, but HOW you write it. Those big words, with little ones, changing font, etc. Awesome@!
We could drive young too in Kansas (but they changed the rules right after me...hmm). I had a friend who got in an accident when she was 14, but she wasn't supposed to be driving by herself until she was 15. Oops. (She actually hit the car of her crush's girlfriend...accidently, really.)
I never had a crush on a teacher. But that is sure a funny poem!
Great writing! No crush for me, since my mom was my teacher. (most of the time) I definitely had crushes on adult men, though. TOO funny! Thankfully, I knew that it would amount to nothing, so I never took it any further than my head.
Your update is too funny! NAUGHTY!!
Do you know what you are doing to me? Do you? Do you? YOU are making me want to READ!!! I can't believe how fun it is! I now look at a newspaper column, and think, "I could read that, without squirming." I view computer pages differently..."this isn't so bad".
I EVEN read the other blogs posted by the other women you mentioned. If I had just met you, I would have gotten that "pit" in my stomach upon the mention of them...and thought, "ugh...it's so LONG".
I've even gotten so hooked on this reading thing (YES BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU'RE Writings are incredible) that I've been peeking around lately, yes, me; the "never stray from her disciplined and structured life" is peeking around a bit at other's blogs. I can't believe how many amazing women are out there.
Okay, enough gushing, and lol at Summer's blockage. Your writings got a little steamy at the end...whew! You even made me so curious about Lolita....wha? Now I wonder if I will read it.
I quote (yes, I know I didn't need to say that) "I do so in the darkest corner of the library."
except for me, it will be in the corner of my house to shield the kids...
I'm talking too much.
Wow, that was interesting but fun to read too! :)
Im homeschooled now but before being homeschooled I went to a couple of private schools (and one public school)....and I cant remember a time of me having a crush on a teacher. In fact, the guy teachers always creeped me out! Especially when a male teacher asked if I wanted to talk to him when I feel lonely or sad. EWWWW!!! and CREEPY! They say to follow your instincts when you suspect a teacher of being a creep :)
Im just glad to be homeschooled now though!
oh yea! We had this hard core biker teacher, with long flowing hair and huge motocycle... SO NOT the kind of guy im turned on by but back then I thought he was the coolest man ever! lol Too darn funny now that I look back!
I totally enjoyed it! I'm still smiling this very moment. I had a crush on my photography teacher when I was 13 and lived in Germany. His name was Mr. McBride. I was never brave enough to even come close to telling him though. Sigh, I wonder where he's at now-a-days???
Great writing, I'll be reading more!
Holy Cow you are one brave girl!!!! LOVIN it!
I think I had a crush on 2 or 3 teachers throughout my life. My major one was in 5th grade where I think I actually went to buy an outfit to "impress him" Thinking back, if he would have been impressed that should have alerted me that something was wrong with him!
Mr. Flynn!!! Oh, I will never forget him. Ever!!!!
He was a student teacher my sophomore year. He was a soldier and once he even wore his fatigues to class. Gah! The girls were in heaven. he rocked the guitar too!!!
Then, my senior year he came back and worked full time. I had to retake one semester of Junior history and I got lucky and he was my teacher to re-take with. I swear I spent everyday of my 1st semester senior year with my heart literally moments from bursting through my chest. I so desperately wanted to not be 18 and to have him magically fall in love with me.
Also, perfect song pick!
i loved that! what a great story. i had crush on my geography teacher. hot stuff!
you little devil! ;-)
that was quite the poem for your little love-sick heart to produce!
wow...can't say that i ever had a crush on any male teachers...though i did have a math teacher in high school that lloked like Kevin Nealon...it was kind of wierd for me. :)
ha ha - yes, mostly ugly teachers inmy school as well (high school ) college - different story!!
In high school there was a teacher that all the girls had a crush on, the ISS teacher - (in school suspension) HOT HOT HOT
First of all my creative writer teacher would have loved you! Great post! I don't think I had a crush on any of my teachers. My brothers friends were a different story. They were 10 years older so that should work!
This was awesome! And I SO had a teacher crush.
I still think about him.
...and if anything happens to Pat and I, God forbid...I would hunt that man down and force him to love me.
Great post!
I'm not sure I ever really had a crush on a teacher...maybe a professor in college though.
You are so awesome I tell ya!!! Well, I thought at first you were going to ask if we remembered anything scary about a teacher...so since that's all I can think about now...I am going to tell you--even though you didn't ask that question. My physiology teacher had THE grossest toenails...they were yellow and so thick and long...and to make it worse...he ALWAYS wore flip flops...GROSS! Okay, now that that's off my chest...I actually did have a crush on my HS Algebra teacher. I don't know why. He was kind of balding and pudgy??? But very funny and drove a Porsche. Maybe that's what I liked?? I dunno.
Well, I'd hate to steal the thunder here, but....I did have a little sompin' going on with my 6th grade Social Studies AND homeroom teacher.
Looking back, it set the course for what would become a love of history, sociology, and behavior sciences.
I remember the day he introduced me to the Phoenicians. Yes, there were others in the classroom but he was clearly talking to me. Without fail he'd finish his lecture notes, look up, and ask questions about the subject matter. Desperate for a connection, he looked about the classroom. No one dare raise their hand. They knew the question was for me. And just to be fair, he would smile at me, then remind me that I didn't have to answer every question.....OH pah lease. Then he would randomly select students withOUT theirs hands raised. I was convinced he must do this; teachers have to be accountable. It was his job.
This whirlwind romance continued like this until I started to refer to him by first name. At first it was just on my notebooks. (I love ...) Then to my friends- they just laughed. But when I called HIM by his first name, well, things changed a bit.
Although our relationship as I knew it ended, two years later we danced at my 8th grade graduation dance. His wife watched from the bleachers. I'm sure that's why he didn't confess.
"finding an older man is the only way to go about things." I am such a fan of your writing.
This is brilliant. Please put them all in a book and I;ll buy it.
So good. Jennifer, so good.
I had two teachers ask me out as soon as a graduated high school. They were scary!
I had no crushes on any teachers, didn't have any hot ones.
I had a crush on one of my college professors. He was in his 30's, tall, with blue eyes and curly hair. Oh my!! What a cutie!
Lisa Q
He was really just like "us" except with facial stubble and a divorce...
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!Hardy harr har har! HHAAHHAA!!
That is so great. YOu wrote this so well, I could feel the wool of his sweater against my arm. Loved this post.
Oh my goodness! I never had an secret crush on a teacher, but I had a friend who did-- and then things happened and now the teacher is in jail. Oopsie!
Hmmm...we are so on the same wavelength. I have never been able to write. Not sure that I ever will be able to...but I did date one of my college professors. And I actually started writing a story about it. I was thinking of posting it on my blog. But I suppose I need to write more before I do that. Or else ya'll might expect me to finish it. That is the part of writing that I am not so good at.
I don't think I had any crush-worthy male teachers when I was in school. But my husband is a law school professor, so does that count?
Finally unblocked!!!My husband didn't unblock it until he could read it and deem it acceptable. :) I can't believe I didn't know how serious the you were about him. I thought he was the most amazing, most inspiring awesome person to ever walk the halls of the schools but NEVER had a crush exactly. Although I did have a thing for the biology teacher. The teacher you talked about inspired me to be a better person.
When I was about 10 I took swimming lessons and I had a crush on my instructor. His name was Brian and I thought he was so cute. One day I saw a few curls of pubic hair sticking out from under his Speedo and I was so grossed out that I couldn't even look at him anymore. That was my first and last crush on a teacher.
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