He was a king who challenged Zeus's intelligence, and was punished by Tartarus in being cursed to roll a boulder up hill for eternity. About the time he'd get the danged thing to the top, it would roll back down and he'd have to start all over again. Wheeeeeee!
So, often as I'm going through my days and cycles of days, I'll come up against something that I hate sooooooo much, I'll think: "this is what I'll have to do in hell if I don't mind my p's and q's. This will be my boulder". I think I've about got the perfect version of my eternal torture planned (let's hope Satan is not taking notes...):
I'll be stripping wallpaper for sure. Anyone ever have to do that? (If you have, I bet you're weeping openly at the mere memory right now....). Only in my hell, every time I get a layer finished---there's another layer waiting. Constant scraping and digging at little, gluey pieces of paper with my fingernails. Oh but it gets better! While performing this task, there will be a group of children near by.......and they will be learning to play the violin. Maybe their third lesson. Enough that they can kind of make out Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, but it's still really screechy-- and there's not enough rosin on their bows--so it's screechy AND scratchy. Then, every 10 minutes or so, someone will hand me the phone and tell me I have to return a phone call to so and so. (Yes--unless it's to talk to an old friend, I hate the phone that much!). And around Christmas time, when the undertakers of Hades maybe take a little holiday pity on me, they'll let me choose another task. Either I can sort out and clean up piles and piles of Legos, K'nex, and Magnetix. Or I can choose to go to Wal*Mart---which, if that weren't hell enough, will only be able to be reached by constant merging onto freeways. And the violin kids all have to come with me.
*****That's why I choose to be good every day :).******
So what sisyphean tasks do you see yourself having to perform?
~Happy Monday!~ (oh yeah---I forgot to add, in hell---it's always Monday....)
Monday, September 8, 2008
so what will you be doing in hell?
One of my favorite Greek myths (What?! You don't have a favorite Greek myth? C'mon!) is the one about Sisyphus. This guy:
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46 comments:
I would be stuck in traffic. I am a huge road rager and that's my circle of hell.
I needed your posting this morning...it made me laugh! I too, would have the piles of Legos and Magnetix PLUS polly pockets and those little shoes!
What a fun blog!
-Sandy Toes
First of all...I thought I was the only person in the world who knew about Squirrel Nut Zippers. Love them! And I love mythology. Kinda goes hand in hand with teaching Latin. Maybe. Or maybe it's just that I know all those obscure myths. And about Tartarus - the prison keeper of the Gods.
What task will I have to perform? Probably driving in Atlanta traffic. Sometimes I am convinced that satan has unleashed the condemned already - might explain the congestion.
I have to admit I was secretly thrilled when Bailey decided that playing the viola wasn't really for her. For me it would be watching my children do something that I know will hurt them either emotionally, spiritually or physically. That is my own personal HELL.
I call Wallmart "Hellmart" all the time. And yet I punish myself and keep going back. The place is torture to me. They have the slowest checkers on earth.
Oh my goodness...that was awesome! You made me laugh very good and even BEFORE 7 a.m.!
I'm gonna have to think about this and I'll be back!
You so crack me up.
You always make me laugh! Your description of hell on earth sounds just about right, except I don't hate Walmart. Oh, and I'd have to add lugging in endless bags of groceries and having to put them away...
I just got caught up in your posts. I am so sorry to hear that your divorce came through. I was hoping it would have your kind of happy ending, and I am sorry that didn't happen. Undoubtedly, you will continue to rise above it all, and someday, somewhere, when you are ready, you will find "it" again...the sweetest man is walking around looking for you, and he doesn't even know it.
I look forward to hearing about that day...Until then, the strength you have as an independent woman will carry you through this pain.
Take care,
Linda
I so totally needed this post today. I think in hell I would be forced to get my kids ready for church over and over again while hearing the words "I hate primary" again and again from Carter. That in itself probably qualifies me as heading there. And while I'm getting them ready for church I'm sure I'll be sorting the various toys you've mentioned as well as Littlest Pet Shop and cleaning candy wrappers out of Kennedy's room that she stashes thinking she's being sneaky.
There are so many to choose from. One would be doing algebra. I would never get close to the end of the problem so I wouldn't even need satan to throw in any foils. Seriously, no rock rolling back for me because I wouldn't even get near the top of that mountain.
Also, listening to people that are obviously completely unfit to be pregnant complaining about how much they hate the fact that they have to smoke in secret so no one will judge them, or how they don't know what in the world they will do with their baby if they can't find a place to live. WHY GOD WHY do you give these people one of your most precious gifts??????
Dishes and laundry!!! Ughhhhh....hell on earth every day.
Ironing! And of course, sorting toys--except mine would be polly pockets with their kazillion miniscule pieces and barbies and dressups and dora house parts and my little pony and littlest pet shop. That job is so bad that when I tell my eight year old to clean the play room (And sometimes offer her five bucks to do it!) she runs screaming and yells, "Anything else! I will do laundry or wash dishes or PULL WEEDS. I will clean my room and my sisters room AND the bathrooms. . .just don't make me clean the playroom!!!" Yeah, that's pretyy much how I feel about it too.
I meant sister's room . . .and pretty much ;)
Hysterical. And the music...this is the ONLY blog I will read with music...because it goes with the theme.
Did I say hysterical?
It was.
Oh Jennifer! You are too funny! I have a HARD time believin you would ever be in Hell! Nope...NO WAY!!! I think there are probably things I'm just forgetting about that I HATE to do (pull weeds comes to mind) BUT the absolute worst thing I can think of right now would be having to potty train 3 yr olds...oh wait...there definitely WON'T be 3 yr olds in Hell, so...maybe I'll luck out of that one...or maybe Satan will just make me clean up adult *&$&%^^ !!! MUCH WORSE now that I'm thinkin about it :( Yikes...that just makes you want to be a Saint every second of your life! Have a great week!
I am with you on the peeling wallpaper! I hate it so much. Nothing works well to make it come off if the people didn't prime underneath it. Yuck.
I hesitate to admit that hell would be all day everyday with kindergarteners. If there were no adults and the world's population was me and 80 million Kindergarteners all asking me questions and holding their crotches and picking their noses and telling me stories about their pets and little sisters.
And Wal-mart. I hate Wal-mart.
Mine is a little personal, but my version of hell is being forced to listen to a few, choice people I know talk. It's not their voices that drive me insane, it's the words that come out of their mouths. It makes me physically uncomfortable to the point that I cannot stay still in my seat and must stare straight down.
Well, let's see. First of all I would be there with condescending people. I really don't like people who talk down to others. But here's the kicker. While listening to these people monologue about how they are better than everyone else, I would be pulling nursing home bathroom duty. Ugh. Not pretty. Definitely hell.
I love the Sisyphus analogy!!! You crack me up!
Let's see. . .stepping on Matchbox cars with bare feet while making a trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night. . . ironing. . . repeatedly taking apart the vacuum cleaner to get the stuck sock/toy/hairband out, only to then immediately vacuum up something else. . .peeling & chopping mountains of tomatoes to can, only to get a measly 4 pints out of it all . . .and yes, listening to my sons' violin practice nails my coffin shut and signs the deal with the devil!
Great post! :)
I love Greek myths. My torture would be some sort of cleaning that always gets undone right after you do it...wait a sec, I think I LIVE that life NOW. UGH
First, I have to agree with Kim up there. This is the only blog with music that I love.
I would definitely be forced to walk over beds of hot legos while listening to southern gospel music.
Ooooooh! Such a fun post! First of all, SO many comments about your choice of music. THAT means that since you put Sing, Sing, Sing on your ipod....hmmmmm.....hooray!
Secondly, who knew that getting an education in Greek mythology could be this fun? I've never heard of...is it....sisyphean.... before. How do you even say that...I'm picturing "sissy fean". Is that right?
My hell? Listening to me constantly....ugh! Isn't that the worst thing to say about yourself? For shame Miss Miki!
Too much, too much, too much going on in my head all of the time. It's nice to have someone else's thoughts be your thoughts for a while. Hence, that's why I love the way you write. Organized, defined, calm, and purposeful. I like it.
Okay, real hell...really? Hmmmmm...people who hate you for making honest mistakes, like driving mistakes. Or people who give you "that look" that they're somehow looking upon you as if you're the mud they just scaped off of their shoe. Yeah...hell (what a naughty word).
oooooh. misread. you "had" Sing, sing, sing on your ipod. Well, at least I copied you I guess. Not as fun to think I copied you, than you copying me! Still, I picked a song you like! Counts, still counts.
I'd be cleaning bathrooms! Ug, nothing could be worse..ICK!
Laundry. Sorting socks, folding underwear, rewashing forgotten musty loads, folding, hauling, and rehoming a household of clothing and miscellaneous items
Oh, and at our house we constantly hunt and peck for itty bitty Play Mobile pieces strewn about the house.
Ha ha ha! LOVE this post! I could probably come up with lots of things that would qualify as my personal hell duties, but I'll have to think on it for a bit. I do have to say however, that I used to equally HATE Wal*Mart, but since living in Idaho for the past 3 years have reluctantly learned to rely on it. If it weren't for their unbeatable prices...I would never even THINK of going into one of them.
My biggest pet peeve is that the workers in Wal*Mart always have those stupid vests on which read: "How can I help you?" I SWEAR everytime I DO need help and ask one of the Wal*Mart employees they stand there stuttering, picking their noses, scratching their heads, getting on some walkie talkie, drooling and finally manage to spit out, "Uh I think it's over in this section, but I'm not sure." HELLO? DO YOU WORK HERE? DO YOU GET PAID? DID YOUR EMPLOYERS TRAIN YOU? WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT RIDICULOUS VEST WHICH CLEARLY READS "HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" !!!!!!
Okay, so I now that I've got that out of my system, I feel better. :)
Happy Monday to you too!
In hell I will constantly be having to pop ballons while someone plays the bagpipes and someone else blows bubbles at me. :)
I'm gonna have clogged toilets. With number 2 that I have to de-clog, disgusting showers to clean and dinner to make again and again and again. :)
LOVED this post.
First of all I have truely enjoyed reading your blog, My Husband is going through his second round of chemo valiantly fighting colon cancer. It has been a rough go. My version of hell would be cleaning the sink he had to barf in because he couldn't make it to the toilet. Gross I know, but in was torcherous in more than one way!
Mine would also be wallpaper. Anyone who puts wallpaper in their home is just plain cruel. Also, floors. You can never get them absolutely spotless and as soon as you get one area clean another is dirty again.
I love the music, what fun.
I think that I am going to be good cause in the hell that you described I would probably be the one that has to put up that insane paper and it will be a tiny stripe that I cannot get straight thus giving me and you (cause you are taking it down) vertigo.
I love that in hell everyday is monday. I too hate Monday.
PS- I have a blog posting almost daily cause I do three at a time and then just set them to pop when the timer dings. So yes I am finding balance and trying to multi-task when I get the time to blog.
This was so funny, if thought provoking! I'm doing my darndest to behave or beware! So, if I'm forced into this, I'd have to say I'd either be trapped in Walmart forever needing a product on the other end of the store, or I'd be not only sorting toys, but pulling my hair out searching for the missing pieces.
happy Monday!
My husband said "wiping butts" as that is what he had to do alot of when he worked where I do!! lol
I don't mind wiping a butt! lol Mine would have to be cleaning the floor.
Cleaning toilets...ugh...hate it...oh yeah, that and stripping wallpaper...ACK!
a personal h-e-double hockeysticks would be folding laundry! Piles and piles of laundry.
Cleaning up someones else puck!!!! YUCK I hate that!
Oh, I will so be strapped to a dentist's chair in hell.
Haha - so true on the wallpaper.
My hell will be a typical Monday at work - that's it.
mondays are hell, thats for sure. i know hell will be full of fluorescent tube lights, grey walls, and plain VCT floor. (ugh, can you tell what i've been dealing with today? so glad my clients let me design their spaces.)
I love your blog!!! Dropping by from Blog Around the World.
Mine right now would be continues pumping in the middle of the night for my daughter.
Holy crap, you are AWESOME! I came by way of Mama's Losin' It and your post made me laugh out loud (and not the lame LOL kind either)!
My hell? Putting away endless piles of laundry. To the beat of The Wiggles. Shudder.
You got me with the screeching violins. That would be my hell. I play the violin and even when I was learning as a child I could not stand the screech!
Jennifer...you are just never going to keep up with us all! Look at all of these comments! Bloggy love has visited you. My goodness.
Since I am a night owl, getting up early would be a definite must. And then my days would be full of housework -- mountains of laundry I never see the bottom of, mopping, cleaning bathrooms. Sadly, these things are all supposed to be part of my daily routine. So for my sanity I must include some creative pursuits to keep me going!
It would have to be laundry! I have at least 7 loads of my clothes plus my son's waiting for me to get off my butt!
Oh yeah... I did a semester on Dante, so I've given this some thought.
In my hell there is no coffee. I have a perpetual caffeine headache and I can see the bottle of Advil, but I can't have it. There is also an illy across the street, and I can see the patrons happily sipping their lattes. I have to program VCRs and other various wire-intensive gadgetry with no instructions and my life depends on it. It's always damp and about 20 degrees too cold. There is cat hair all over my clothes, and I have no pony tail holder. It's perpetual winter, my internet and phone lines don't work, the litter box needs to be changed, and hair needs to be pulled from the drains.
Did I mention no coffee? ;)
*HUGS* to you.
Ohhhhhhh.......wallpaper! That is a NIGHTMARE! My hell?! That would include drunk people barfing on me and then I'd have to clean them up and myself while constantly having to stop my gag reflext....yup...that's my hell.
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