my poetry is having adventures while i'm stuck at home with the hot glue gun

What a crazy week! A whole, crazy month, in fact! (proof being: when was the last time any of you saw me comment on your blog? Yeah....good thing a few months ago I never missed a day, so I think I had some saved up personal leave time :] ).

I laugh that so many of you were jealous of my vacationing mentioned in the last post. It's true--I HAVE done a ton of traveling since December, more than in the previous 10 years combined. But this particular coming vacation involves me loading the boy squad into the mom-van (in which the A/C only works when turned on high), driving 10 hours through the night so that I won't have to hear the "I'm bored" chant x 4, and then meeting up with about a bojillion other children for a week of messed up sleep schedules and refereeing fights!!! ***yaaaaaay!!!!!! *** Still jealous? :) I really am looking forward to it-- all the crazy pre-vacation prep is just making me say those things. It's also making me do some corner-cutting.....like hot gluing the patches onto my 11 year olds scout uniform. I thought that was at least one step above stapling them. I just may be the only interior designer around who is frightened by a sewing machine.

On another note.........................

While most of *my* dealings have been around home lately, my poetry has been out having all kinds of adventures without me. My professor/mentor/ friend is reading through what is quickly becoming my book in the works---and he leads a far more exciting life than I. Here was the letter I received today:

"i was carrying your poems with me around the east village this morning, in my backpack, they are soaking wet and drying on the kitchen counter in this apartment full of girl stuff. thought you should know. we will see if they dry."
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I think my soggy poems should at least bring me back an I {heart} NY shirt; wouldn't you agree?

Now I'm off to continue the vacation prep and dream about what it would be like to be stuck in the rain in the east village about now....

Just for fun: what was the best souvenir you ever brought back, or were given, from a vacation?

who wants to guest blog?

I've never had guest bloggers before--but I'm having myself a heaping helping of vacation next week and I don't want the blog to get lonely. I'm thinking 3 days is enough to fill and you can write about any ol' PG thing you'd like. I can even generously DJ up a song you'd like to accompany your masterpiece. Any takers? You can let me know in the comments or contact me via the email link in my profile.

Of course, if NO ONE wants to, I'm going to cry..... :)

simple friday fotos

It was a simple week....those are nice, aren't they? It was partly out of choice, and partly out of necessity due to the over 100 degree temperatures we've been experiencing here. Something about heat completely zaps my energy. I would like to meet the guy who invented air conditioning and give him a big kiss, or bake him a cake, or at least pat him on the back.....fabulous invention!!!

Here's what we've been up to this week.....

My Liam looks so grown up with his new haircut! All the boys' hair has seemed to naturally grow into a bowl cut (very straight and very thick) so that's usually how I've had it cut until they were older, but when Liam requested his hair cut like his brothers-- I gave in. Now he and Ethan look *SO* much alike!.....and my hair gel budget just increased :)

Liam got a Curious George stuffed animal for Christmas. This week, he decided to give it to James. That made for one happy little brother!

We've had friends visiting from Utah all week. Here they are playing wall ball against the garage in the 102 degree heat AND my son is wearing a BLACK shirt and long pants. Huh?! Didn't seem to phase them at all though!

I sent them out back to cool off in the sprinkler when they were done--which naturally turned into the "spray eachother with the hose game". I thought this picture just screamed summer!

And that's it! I'm planning on enjoying my weekend safely at **room temperature**....enjoy yours too!

~Happy Weekending!~

decades of change

So, I haven't felt like I've been very candid on here lately. There's a lot going on that I want to write through--but for some reason or another, I stop myself--wondering who's reading. And then I saw one of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompts, and I just knew it was time to let some stuff out. Here goes:

5.)Describe what brought you closer to your faith.

I can't remember ever not believing. I didn't come from an especially religious family, per say, but I can recall always being fascinated with religion. With stories of God and love and protection and help. Having lost my dad in a car accident when I was only 4, I always felt a deep need for a protector. I prayed a lot as a young child too. Wasn't really sure how to do it, but I did a lot of asking for angels to come down and hug me. They never came--not that I could see anyway--but it always made me feel better to ask.

As I grew, I was blessed to be surrounded by good friends who exposed me to all kinds of religions. I think I tried about every church available in our town of 24,000 before finally settling on the one I felt most at peace with.

And somehow, amidst all this--my life was going on. I often think of it in terms of decades. In 1980, I was just starting kindergarten. By 1989, I was driving to school (yes...we could drive at 14 in Idaho!)****. In 1990, I fell in love for the first time. By 1999, I was married and had 2 children. **** And now this generation---in 2000, life seemed too perfect. We were planning on starting a new business and expanding our family, had just bought a new house, and celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. By 2009, I was divorced, struggling to find a way to be able to stay at home with my 4 boys and still earn a living, and feeling like my whole life--everything I knew to be true and right and good--got swiped away like eraser dust off paper.

Such huge, life-altering changes--for good and bad--in such a relatively short amount of time.

What hadn't changed in all those years and through all those ups and downs was my love and my need for God. Through feast and famine, financial prosperity and financial destitution, births and deaths, times of accomplishment and times of uncertainty---I KNEW God had never left me. That, in His wisdom, He had allowed all these things to pass upon me to make something of me better than I was before I came here. I didn't always (ok...mostly always) like what was being asked of me, but I like to think I endured it well and cheerfully wait for God to tell me "why" in His own way and time.

I don't know what the future will hold. I hope more good than bad.
I hope it holds a lot of laughter and adventure.
I hope my children will make good choices, and go on to live happy, fulfilling lives of their own.
I hope I find love again.
I hope what I have been through and what I have learned can go on to help others in some capacity.

And as for God---well, He never seems to grow tired of me asking him for the same things over and over and over. He doesn't always give them to me, but not because He's mean---just because He knows they're not what is best for me at this time.

"For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee....O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires...And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children" (from Isaiah 54).

Could I ever think up such amazing blessings as these for myself? No way! And that's why I'm going into the start of this next decade with my hand in my Fathers---anxious to see what He has in store for me next. And *that* attitude is what brings me daily closer to my faith.

sugared stalks

The rhubarb lays, washed and drying,

in the sink

Butter softening on the counter

A jazz trio on my stereo-- slightly louder than the background

Sky pulling the curtain of clouds higher and higher

until every inner-corner

is wet with spilt sunlight

and the whole kitchen

and the whole me

are summer-laden and lazy

I think this must be what old-age feels like

A process of consuming soundless fragrance

Hours with no purpose

but simple labor and the promise

of a sugared-stalk cobbler.

Later, I am certain,

this week will follow me about

with the counterpart to this day

There will be pots of rags

Victims in wooden barracks

Corrupted, absent lovers.

Maybe jazz music will accompany that day too

but the butter will be hard,

and the rhubarb bitter.

~Jennifer P. 7-20-09

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Do you ever think all good things must come to an end? and...Do you like rhubarb? :)

friday fotos--the dog days of summer

Summer is kind of like stepping into a weird time vortex around here--in other words, time and routines and schedules just get thrown out the window (as I'm yelling "close that window! I'm not paying to cool the outside!" :) ). We wake up early and go to sleep late, and nap through the heat of the afternoon. Running through the sprinkler beats the TV. We eat Popsicles and fresh raspberries for dinner and gaze up at the stars before bed. Exciting vacations are planned, but camping in the backyard seems just as fun. Life is lazy and hot and happy!


Here's what we've been up to this week......

I dumped a bottle of baby oil onto the slip and slide...making it ever so slippy and slidey! Thought I was brilliant until I ended up with oily hand prints all over the sliding door :/

I made the "cake" for a friend's birthday. I love the brown and pink together:

My two big boys and I. Seriously don't know how they got this old!!!

Remember 4th of July? Like 2 weeks ago? We actually did do stuff! :) Liam carried the package of fireworks around with him EVERYWHERE for 2 days!

Boys suddenly turn into **Jedi knights** when you give them sparklers! Notice James is missing?.....

Yeah, he would have absolutely NOTHING to do with fireworks of any kind! Watched everything from the safety of the living room. He did get the flashlight down and was waving it around. I guess that was his answer to a sparkler! Maybe next year he'll be braver, for now--he can just be cute :) ....

I did sparklers too---though one is never enough for me!

The moment the super tall Jenga tower fell---love that I captured it!-------

Got to swim in HCMM's gorgeous pool on my vacation. I took a picture of myself in my new bathing suit, but turns out I did NOT look as good in it as I thought. *sigh* Ah well!--loved the swimming anyway!

Went to a butterfly exhibit and got this picture. My mom told me before she died that every time I saw a butterfly, I should think about her. So--that makes this photo all the more special:

And that's it! Back to my sweet, sweet laziness!!!

Using ONE WORD, tell me your favorite thing about summer, and.....

~Happy Weekending!~

how i almost bought a porsche....again

My flaked-off spray tan and I are back! Rested to the point of ridiculousness and soooo happy to be reunited with the boy squad!


One of the highlights of my vacation was definitely going here....

The Porsche Show:



Look at that view! Look at those cars! .....if only Alan Rickman had been there, I think I would have spontaneously combusted-- that would have been too much perfection in one place.




I couldn't help but think how many millions of dollars were spread across this lawn....ai yi yi



I have always been a bit of a car buff---vintage British roadsters being my passion. But I am **ALL** girl--because no matter how beefy an engine might be or what kind of torque it has, I'm still mostly drawn to how pretty a car is. And this one was PRETTY!.....
And this one was my most favorite shade of green.....

Orange racing details? I'm in love......

A red head.....Hellooooooo Beautiful!

Near the end, the sprinklers kicked on. See the poor little red Porsche whose owners took it there and left it all alone? Yeah--thank goodness for the kindness of strangers who pushed it our of the way. Convertibles and streams of water don't make a good combination.

And how else to end the afternoon but to drive off in my friend's Porsche? OK--so I didn't drive, although the offer was made. Somehow I couldn't see myself maneuvering something worth more than my house. I was, however, a giddy passenger!!!

Afterwards--my head all spinning in a cloud of glittery Porsche convertible dust--I called to see if this one was still available in my city. I even worked out how I would pay for it. I guess the economy isn't as bad as I thought because......................... it had been sold :( .

Ah well! I guess that means that all 4 of my children will get to attend college after all. Though I DO hope to one day own a car that they think is cool enough to sneak out and drive. And yes, dear mother of mine---now that you're in heaven, you're probably privy to the fact that I DID drive the Nissan 300ZX on two occasions without telling you. I can't help but think it's all your fault for buying such a beautiful car. If you'd only had a mini-van....like me...... :)

More vacation pictures to come with Friday Fotos. In the meantime, if you hear some sobbing coming from the direction of Idaho--yeah, it's me. I find it perfectly normal to cry about "the one who got away".... even if it is metallic and 4-wheeled.

HOW ABOUT YOU--DO YOU HAVE A DREAM CAR?

why you are not enjoying friday fotos today...

If ever there was a time in my adult life I would have chosen to get drunk, it would have been Tuesday night. I had to buy a bathing suit. Turns out it wasn't so bad! Thank goodness for board shorts and my faithful ab workouts....

Then, yesterday I went and had myself "airbrushed bronze" (ok....that's just a fancy way of saying I got a spray tan!). There was a lot of turning and posing involved and I couldn't stop giggling. Glad I managed to get my mouth closed at all the right times so my teeth remained un-bronzed.

So....let's see--a new swimming suit ------- a golden glow ------ a friendship-only dinner date with this bloggy guy.... ---- a little work, a little play.....

Can you guess where I'm at?! :)

Not doing Friday Fotos, that's for sure! But my Fotos and I will be back next week! You're all dying inside, I know- but we'll get through this together. Now-----

~Happy Weekending!~

three quick questions....

Funny how I'll be going through a day and think of something really *clever* that I want to write about, and by the time I sit down....the idea is gone. I think my brain has turned to summer mush--which is kind of strawberry-colored as I imagine it.



What is left lingering in my brain, though, are some strange questions that I suddenly feel the need to ask all of you .....



1. The eyeball dilemma..... When you talk to a person and are looking them directly in the eyes, do you attempt to look at both eyes at once, or do you look from eyeball to eyeball? If I try and look someone directly in two eyes---I start to giggle. Yup. Always fun to start cracking up in intense situations requiring a lot of eye contact....I have to look from eye to eye.

2. Shoes and socks.....when you put them on, do you go sock, sock, shoe, shoe; or sock, shoe, sock, shoe? I like to mix it up, becuase I'm just wild and crazy like that.

3. This last one involves a funny memory from my childhood that I wonder if anyone else shares. Since my mom was a widow, she was always "schooling" my brother and I in what to do should anything happen to her. Real macabre stuff too, like--before charging a car battery, she would hand us the wooden-handled broom and tell us that if it looked like she was getting electrocuted, we should use the broom to knock her away from the battery! Oh my goodness, I am almost in tears laughing so hard as I type this since it was just one of many "worst case scenarios" she would come up with!

The one I'm wondering if anyone else shares is her "what to do if I get hurt and am unconscious" scenario. Mom didn't tell us to go get a neighbor or dial the operator (pre 911 days y'all), NOOOOO...she told us that if something bad happened to her--my brother and I should DRIVE HER TO THE HOSPITAL!!! I was about 10 and my brother was 8. We had our system all worked out and discussed how cool it would be: he would push the gas pedal and I would steer. I'm surprised we didn't poison our mother or something, just to get an opportunity to drive the car!!!

SO, I guess that final question (I type through my tears of laughter) would be: were any of you ever told as a child a certain situation under which it would be ok to drive the car?

Give me some answers girlies, 1-2-3 :) !!!

how i went from wanting 0 kids to wanting 10

Here's a shocking little secret about me......in 1994, when I first got married and we started talking about having kids in the future, I was stubbornly set in my ways, meaning: I didn't want to be a mother.


***GASP!!!***

I KNOW! Since being a mom is now pretty much what defines me, what completes me, what plops me onto a plateau of joy I never thought possible....it's hard to recall that there was once a time that I thought dedicating my life to child-rearing seemed so 'beneath me'. I think I was mostly afraid, not having spent a lot of time around babies; and also self-centered as young 20-somethings tend to be; and couldn't comprehend how any of my ambitions could be accomplished with an infant on my hip. But 3 years later, when they placed that baby Zane in my arms, I absolutely MELTED! I couldn't imagine how my life had ever meant anything without him. And then came Ethan, then Liam, then James. Each a tiny miracle straight from heaven! In my more blissful mothering moments, I often wished I had 6 or 8 or even 10 kids because they are all so stinking fabulous!!!

I'm sure you mothers are remembering that time when your 'mother heart' took over. When you stopped speeding because you had a baby in the backseat. When you discovered how beautiful the world looked at 3 am (frequently). When M-O-M scrawled in crayon across a page looked like a priceless work of art. Babies change us. They make us more.

Of course, we also probably also know of at least one wonderful friend who wants so badly to be a mom too....and can't for some reason or another. It seems almost unfair. There are so many mistreated and unwanted children out there, and people who would love and want them are unable to have them. I know a lot of you follow Sissy's blog-- I love her and her honesty about the struggle.

Now I just wanted to take a minute and steer you towards the blog of some sweet California friends of mine who are looking to expand their family through adoption. I like to tease him about looking like Jon Cryer (go look at the blog just to see the similarity :)!). They are such a wonderful couple that any baby would be blessed to call them Mom and Dad. They found out about their second son at Disneyland--so you never know what might come of a coincidence. For that reason, I am posting this and asking you to take a look and keep them in mind if you know of anyone contemplating adoption.

As for comments--if you want to, tell me a name you really liked for one of your children but never used.

And thank you.