a mixed bag of friday fotos

I can't believe February is nearly gone already! I've been making a sincere attempt to slow down in the midst of all this insanity my life seems to generate and make sure I continue to appreciate the little moments. Very grateful when my camera can help me in holding onto a few of those moments. Here's what we've been up to this (slightly more than a) week:


I've been trying to convince two little boys that there ARE other things just as much fun to do as play computer and wii games. Some times they believe me :) -- like the day I pulled out Froot Loops and straws for them to make necklaces with:

They came up with the cereal/straw/cereal pattern all on their own! More cereal was consumed than was strung, but it bought us all a good half hour of peace, quiet, and "craft bonding" .

I also braved getting all the cookie stuff out to decorate Valentines Day treats...

I think there's actually a cookie underneath all the candy and sprinkles! Ninja came to help....

I actually **love** the picture above because it captures my house as it usually looks during the day: Something always going on in the kitchen. Computer hutch open. Some combination of adult and/or kid friends dropping by for a visit. Kids with crazy post-nap hair. My home is truly LIVED IN and it makes me happy :).

Finally....doing my part to bring world peace by making more funny faces in pictures. Seriously, do you think we'd be at war if our leaders looked like this in all their photos?! .....


Plus, you can kind of see my new haircut (trading in the A-line bob I've rocked for almost 2 years for a layered long bob...and getting increasingly more red too!).

That's us! That's our life! ~Happy Weekending!~ (and a biiiig thank you to whoever follower #170 is! I love numbers that end in a nice 5 or 0, so you know that 169 was driving me a little batty! Actually, a biiiiiiig thank you to ALL my followers. You make me happy when skies are gray :) ).

here's the cure for the new house blues (and it involves blue!)

Lee Ann has been a blogging friend of mine since nearly day one of The Petersons Go Public! .It was so much fun to watch her new dream house take shape via her blog! If she ever feels so generous, I'll gladly take it from her when she dies :). Anyway, she had a few questions about said house that I am more than happy to try and answer... and hope all of you living in houses that look too new might find a few answers too.

The first question was what to do to with her mantel (?)


First of all Lee Ann--good for you mixing up the wood stain with the white trim! Craftsman style homes are gorgeous but can feel a little oppressive and dark with too much wood. I think the mixed finishes make your home look much more fresh and friendly while still maintaining gorgeous period details. As far as your mantel (which is TO DIE FOR, by the way!)--I would start by painting the two niches (starting from the edge of the column and ending where the wall bumped out over the fireplace) an earthy gray-blue. I KNOW the last thing you want to do in a new house is PAINT...but I promise you can knock it out in an hour or two and you'll love the effect. Next up--get some oiled silver frames for the black and white pictures of your cutie pie girls. I think leaving them frameless might be a little too contemporary. After that, let's try and create a grouping of three on the portion of your mantel over the fireplace. I would choose a chunky framed mirror hung on the wall, with your family picture leaned against it to one side and grouping of candlesticks or pottery on the other side, something like these "Farm" vases from IKEA (which are only $1.99 a piece) would look great up there. Now....study this mantel:

Not that I want you to buy a giant picture of a cow--but see how the homeowner uses different objects to give her long mantle a "lived in" look? Don't be in too big of a hurry to fill your mantel though. That's part of the fun of new home...taking the time you need to find "just the right thing" and letting it look slowly more lived in over time. The picture above also holds my solution for your desire for a coffee table AND more color...an ottoman!

This one is ultrasuede, will stand up to heavy use, AND will tie in to the niches you painted (because you WILL paint them, of course :) ).

Yup! I think an ottoman would look great on top of that rug! Now try pairing it with some blue, chocolate brown, and pale gold pillows on your sofa (pick those suede looking ones off of your floor and put 'em on there! ).

Finally, I know you mentioned loving the trim on your windows and wanting to leave them bare. I LOVE the trim too...but I also see this window as the perfect spot to add a simple pattern that this room really needs. So--I think you can have curtains and STILL be able to appreciate the gorgeous window detailing. I want you to take down the two small flanking pictures and choose a simple oiled bronze curtain rod. Install it just below the crown moulding and make sure it's long enough to extend a 10-12 inches over the edge of the side trim.

Then, try a drapery like these from Z Gallerie:

The simple Greek key pattern is in keeping in harmony with the right-angles of Craftsman architecture, and the blue and brown will re-emphasize your color scheme. Although you still want the treatment to look full, don't worry about them being long enough to close over the windows. What you're doing is essentially just creating a "dummy curtain" using them for the decorative effect more than their functionality. The final look would be similar to this:
If they're not long enough, it's easy enough to sew on a bottom band of solid chocolate fabric to extend the length. Make sure they don't hover! You want them touching the carpet!

I would say my only caveat about these projects would be to WATCH YOUR BLUES! It's a tricky color to match, and you want to stay in the gray-blue, not baby-blue arena. Thankfully, with blue and brown being such a hot color combination right now, you should have a good selection. Make sure to share pictures of any and everything you do with us....and thanks for letting me help :) ! Thanks to you too readers who didn't comment :), for sticking with me through decorating week!

doing my best to answer your decorating dilemmas

I think I have passable answers for everyone....except you LeeAnn--yours is going to take up all of tomorrow's post since you were serious enough to send me pictures and all :) . For the rest of you, here's my two bits:

SUSIE--you asked about huge blank walls and tall ceilings. Here's a post I did about the beauty of a hollow core door (MUCH cheaper than canvas!). My *door art* is just leaning, but the guys at the home improvement stores know all about what to use to hang stuff like this if that's what you want. Also, I LOVE using wallpaper as a filler on one wall. Like this:

or this (See picture 3 where the paper is framed, a good option if you don't have mad wallpapering skillz :) ) ....

Or this.....

Choosing an oversized pattern of wallpaper and painting adjacent walls a coordinating color is a great way to make a huge impact. Once it's up, the wall really doesn't need anything else on it!

****

"T" asked about what to put over her bed and gave me the options of artwork, canvas, or photography. I say any and/or all of those would work! Over the bed is one of those great spots where you can be as personal as you want. Beyond keeping whatever you hang in proportion with the size and headboard shape of your bed, the rest is all up to you! But DO put SOMETHING up there for heavens sake :) !

***

SISSY asked about the lettering I had on my old bedroom wall (another good idea for something to put up above your bed!). Here's the post link! I have never found a vinyl letter person willing to do them that size for me again--but I don't think it would be impossible. Just be SURE to have two people available to get the lettering up. It's a big job!

***

My real life friend TINA in Brooklyn asked about how to class up her slum apartment. And I say...YOU CAN DO IT! Think BoHo! What you have is "vintage chic" not junky! Design Sponge is a great website for garnering ideas about big city living, as is browsing Anthropologie pictures. Some people would probably pay a lot of money for that gold couch and green curtains :) ...plus, with a husband who's an artist, you probably have some pretty cool stuff laying around!

***

5 KID FAMILY asked about storage systems you can take with you. And I say...you can't beat the folks at Pottery Barn Kids! They know how to build a storage system that makes prime use of space going out and up.....

I know a lot of their stuff is overpriced, but it's a good jumping off point. Look at how they're doing it, and then think about how you can replicate it. I have paid local furniture builders to make me PB Kids stuff for a LOT less. Doing the painting or staining on it myself saves me even more.

***

AMBER--I will be messaging you about your plant shelf dilemma (stupid dust catchers!) , but I'm still trying to track down the photo of what I did with the little buggers at my last house.

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One more day of great (or at least good!) ideas for a making a new Craftsman house feel more lived in. Then it's back to real life for me! I love talking about decorating again, but it FOR SURE takes more time to do than the straight up writing stuff! I might consider making a "help me with my decorating dilemma" a monthly post though if I have some interest in it. Anyone interested? Let me know!

Happy Monday! :)

everyone loves a good before and after...

At least I do! I'm going to take the weekend to do a little more research on the questions you asked me and post them on Monday. So for today... we're going to look at some more pictures of my last house and the makeover it underwent. I hope if you're in the middle of your own remodel or redecorating, you'll glean a few usable ideas!

Here was my DINING ROOM BEFORE. Just days after we moved in--things looking very new and bare still:

(sorry again about the Christmas decorations! These were the only ones I had without people in them!). DINING ROOM AFTER:

*the chairs got easy slipcovers and I added two new end chairs. *the shelf got "beefed up" with some new molding. *The walls got a stucco finish., and *because I believe every room deserves a touch of black to "class it up", a new black chandelier replaced the old brass and alabaster one.


KITCHEN BEFORE:
Standard builders oak cabinets, laminate counter tops and flooring. Every surface I picked out ended up looking a lot more pink than the brown it appeared to be in the samples. This was the room I wanted changed most of all, but knew it COULD be the most expensive to re-do too...so I rolled up my sleeves and prepared to do most of the work myself and fill in with creativity:

KITCHEN AFTER: *It took me 3 looooong months, but I hand painted all my cabinets and finally got the white kitchen I'd always wanted! *Cutting out the center of the doors on my dish cabinet and adding hardware cloth (thick mesh screen) gave me a lot of style for not much money. *Wide plank laminate flooring ("Distressed Heart Pine" by Mannington) unified the living/dining/ kitchen areas and was a nice, grounding contrast to all the white. *Wrapping the bar in beadboard added a customized element. Beadboard at the top of the backsplash saved me a lot of awkward painting in small gaps (I painted the board before I put it up!) *Napoleon Brown Marble tiles on the counter gave me a granite look for a LOT less money. *probably my favorite part of the room: the new handles, a mix of bin pulls and handles-- and the new gooseneck faucet. Giving thought to details like that really finish a room off right!

(you can click on any of the pictures to see more detail...but forgive any messes you might see :) ).

***If you want to read about and see more of my adventures in remodeling my current home, visit here***

What decorating or remodeling project are you in the midst of?

show that furniture who's boss! making it work for you no matter where you live:

In furnishing a house, you have two avenues you can take: 1.) Go to the nearest furniture store and buy the matching couch/loveseat/chair/coffee table/end table/lamps OR 2.) furnish it over time mixing bought, found, and inherited pieces.

If you haven't guessed--I'm kind of more for avenue #2. Homes that can successfully blend pieces in a variety of styles, colors, and textures seem (to me) more inviting and reflective of their owners. It is a process though. You'll often find yourself "making due" as you save for or try to hunt down just the right piece of furniture or accessory. Over the last 15 years, I've lived in 5 houses and 2 apartments--and my furnishings have moved and adapted with me. Have a look:

This was my house in the country circa 1996. It was the first one I lived in after getting my design degree. I painted all the surfaces (including the fireplace) a creamy white and (you can see it reflected in the mirror) one wall in an oversized checker pattern. I worked retail for 5 months to save up enough for the Ethan Allen couch--worth every cent! Having run out of money after the couch, I supplemented with two (then) $80 wicker chairs and and $40 wicker table from Pier 1. The dark wood table was inherited from my Grandma, and the olive suede ottoman we made out of plywood, upholstery tacks and imagination. Besides having a little too much gold accenting going on (and the gray-blue carpet!), I think this home would still look new and fresh today:

This was the closest thing to a rental home we ever had--living in my mom's house for 6 months while she captained her boat around Alaska. It was wonderful to have such an open, light-filled space! She let me move in all our furniture, and even paint my beloved square pattern (turned harlequin here) on the stair wall. But--we had to just make the white walls work. The couch, wicker chairs, and ottoman made the move. We kept her oversized leather chair and barstools. And you can see our dining room furniture--a table we built with my Grandpa's help, and 4 chairs I found on a close out for $50 a piece at the Big Lots. I liked that the chairs were a lighter stain than the table:

Here was the house we built in the "big city" in 1999. This was just a few days after moving in and it for sure had that "hello! I'm new and bare!" feel to it. The first ottoman we built had broke and we were in the process of building another (I was waiting for the material on order to finish the top!) We got the Mission-style rocking chair from my sister-in-law who worked at a leather furniture store. The living room was for sure the smallest I'd worked with and it was confusing to figure out where to put everything since I had what equated to a traffic path running through the middle of it:

Three years later, I'd lived in the house long enough to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with it and how to make the best use of space--which meant adding a few new furniture pieces. It's the same couch, but after 7 years, it was looking a little worn. Semi-custom denim slipcovers from Todo Es extended the life for a little longer. The small cube ottomans (which served as additional, movable seating) came from Pottery Barn Bed and Bath. I ordered a crocodile-embossed leather chair using my designer discount from Norwalk (it was my "splurge" and I STILL loooove it). Taking out the plant shelves made the room appear larger AND cut down on awkward dusting. It took 27 hours of intricate painting, but I loved the stucco look I created on the walls. Wide plank laminate flooring, a small wicker chair (found for $25 at TJ Maxx--I used it for working at my computer), and black and white photos of trees I took myself finished the look:

Here's the view from the opposite side (and forgive the Christmas decorations!). My smartest purchase was two black armoires--one held my TV and stereo, the other my computer--allowing me to do everything in my tiny living room! You can see the dining room furniture is there too. The chairs got Pottery Barn slipcovers, and two galvanized chairs added to the mix. I described this style as "Italian Farmhouse".

Finally my house today. This is the most colorful space I've created for sure! My mom made me promise to buy a new couch with the money she left me when she died (that was my mom for you!), so a small scale, down-filled one from Room and Board replaced my old Ethan Allen. My once black computer armoire got a coat of bright olive paint (the other went into my bedroom). I converted an old coffee table my sister gave me into an oversized ottoman, covered in $5 a yard nubby charcoal fabric found in a remnant bin. I swapped painting for sewing with a friend and got the window treatments and slipcovers for the cube ottomans made. My crocodile chair got a pillow and throw. And finally, I found a scratch and dent model dining room table, painted chairs bought from an unfinished furniture outlet, and ordered the Karim Rashid Oh! end chairs for a mid-century modern feel. Other furniture (the leather rocker and Grandma's end table) now reside in my family room, and one of the first house Pier 1 wicker chairs is now the reading chair in my little boys' room.

WOW! That was wordy, wasn't it?! Still--just to prove that if you buy quality furniture when you can, and use your imagination to fill in the gaps--you can create all kinds of looks with the same stuff! Now--isn't that better than buying the matchy-matchy group that will probably need replacing in 5 years? (The answer is yes :)! )

Coming tomorrow and Monday: A few more before and after photos from my city house, and answers to the design dilemmas you gave me!

what's black and white and gray and green and orange?

I know color combinations come and go (hunter green and cranberry anyone?) but there's one that I've been enamoured with for quite some time now. Black and white with gray, green, and orange accents. The black and white are timeless, the gray adds a sophisticated contrast, and green and orange are at once energetic and earthy. Looking through my file folder of "favorite houses", I find myself drawn to this color scheme more than any other.

(forgive the slightly crude nature of the photographs--they're scans from Better Homes and Gardens and This Old House Magazine).But here are some lovely examples of this color scheme at work:

The gray zinc backgrounds of the shelves and the hefty black of the table and chandelier are brought to life by the zingy green art and pillow.....

Black, white, gray....and then the orange comes to help out! Don't be afraid of this combination looking too Halloweeny. It will especially look great around that time, but it can carry itself all year too!

This is one of my all-time favorite dining rooms. I designed the curtains in my own dining room after these. The orange chairs are balanced by the green centerpiece.

(Living room of the same house as above)Bright colors like orange and green look great with a lot of natural light, but can also warm a house where skies are overcast most of the time. If you have a lot of light, choose a more citrus-y orange. If you've got less--try a warmer pumpkin shade.

Although I added a little brown and red to the mix, my own house is mostly black, white, gray, green and orange:

So...there ya go ! If you're tired of what you've got going on for color--I give you permission to try out my favorite!

And just for fun--what is YOUR favorite color combination?

welcome to decorating week!

After spending hours yesterday searching for pictures to share with you, I sat down at 11 pm with my mug of Slippery Elm Bark herbal tea and my box of tissues (I'm fighting a nasty cold) AND.....my scanner decides not to work! You know...the brand new scanner I bought myself at Christmas time. UUUUGH! Actually, I don't think it's the scanner's fault. I think my computer's USB ports are giving out on me. ANYWAY--I will attack that problem with renewed energy tomorrow. TODAY--we're going to wing it a bit as I introduce you to one of my favorite designers.

I have been working in decorating and design since 1996 doing everything from spec homes (which entails selecting flooring, tile, finishes, etc.--no furniture) to commercial work and whatever else paid the bills in between. In that time, I've amassed a design magazine collection that could sink a ship! Amongst all those glossy pages I found a few designers whom I fell madly in love with--ones whose rooms were always at once timeless and fresh and never seemed to scream "1998!" or "2004!". Amongst my muses are T. Keller Donovan, Christopher Coleman, Jeffrey Alan Marks, (heck! I'm even going to stick Debbie Travis and Mitchell Gold/Bob Williams in here!) and my favorite: Laura Bohn.

Laura owns several houses of her own, and every one is uniquely *her* and absolutely impeccable. She's not afraid to take risks, but there's always a certain grounding to her style as well. Here's the dining room of her "country home" (trying to remember what issue of Country Home this came out in, but I know it's at least 10 years old):




Here is the dining room of her vacation home. It inspired me to paint chalkboard walls in my older boys' bedroom:

Her New York apartment (I've watched it go through a few remodels) is very similar to this clients home. She is a master at using texture and subtle color over pattern, and in mixing materials (dark wood floors with a steel fireplace surround) to keep things interesting. The soft surfaces draw you in and make it feel comfortable, not cold.

Another view of the same room. Also note the way she mixes large and small scale in furnishings and accessories:

I love this room because it's carpeted! Some times you just want something a little soft under foot, but still want it to look classy:

If you're hooked and want to see more Laura Bohn, visit HERE and click on "projects" to look through some slide shows of client homes. The Greenwich apartment is one of my favorites! Also, if you want to see some other design peeps I love, visit my side bar under "Inspirations".

Keep your fingers crossed about the scanner working because I am looking sooo forward to showing you more...and answering some of your questions too!

Your turn: Any designer (known or not so known) inspire you?

hey all you decoratey people who come to my blog hoping to see somehting other than blah, blah, blah!....

and I know there are quite a few of you too! One of the reasons I started this blog was to post about my decorating projects (for any of you who may have forgotten or didn't know--I AM an interior designer....on a current writing sabbatical). Early on, I made bloggy friends with a lot of fabulous design bloggers (Nester, Melissa Lester, JenJen, Kim, Linda) .... and they have continued to have me linked even though my blog took **a bit of a twist. **I'm sure I get a lot of ladies coming over from those sites to see what project I have going on only to go "huh?".....

ANYWAY--

I am devoting all of next week to decorating and design posts. I'm going to use my scanner and show you the previous two houses I've lived in and what about them continues to be fresh and modern. I'm going to report about my favorite color schemes. And....I'm willing to take any questions that you might have and make possible posts out of them. So, if you're wondering about something---let me know in the comments here and I'll see what I can do about it! IT'S GOING TO BE FUUUUUUN!

:)

this is a post about baking chocolate...that has nothing to do with baking

Every Monday night, the boy squad and I have Family Night. We play a game or go for an outing (they love that). We have a treat (they love that too). Then we have a lesson (not so much loving of that!). Actually, they're very good to sit and listen to me prattle on for 15 minutes about faith or values or family harmony--and I especially caught their attention tonight--



I brought the vanilla extract to our lesson and had them all smell it. There was much in the way of agreement that it smelled **wonderful**. I asked if any of them wanted to taste it--to which they all shook their heads "no". Either they've all tasted it at some point, or had it be enough that I told them it only SMELLED good but tasted yucky. They wouldn't be fooled.



Then, I took two wrapped squares of this from out of my pocket:

It was wrapped up so pretty...and it smelled so good...and they were sure it was going to taste delicious....

I couldn't keep myself from laughing as they all bit into it and the surprised/disgusted faces appeared followed by spitting and running to the kitchen for water.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO US MOM?!" they asked between drinks.

"Because", I explained, "That's how bad choices are. Some of them are packaged so nicely. They look good. They smell good. They draw us in and tempt us to taste them. But it's all bitter when you act contrary to what you know is right."

And there was a full 5 seconds of silence as they thought about that.

And they "got" it.

And in the few hours since I've put them to bed and cleaned up the house and done some thinking, I've "got" it too. There's a lot of baking chocolate calling to me in my life right now. There have been stretches of weeks and months (and I think even a whole year one time) where my life seemed perfectly in balance: physically, emotionally, spiritually--everything just seemed to work. Sometimes it's just the normal course of trial that comes into every mortal life that sets me into a spin; but-- more often than I'd like to admit-- I get drawn away by the temptation of chocolate. Those things that really don't hold much of a promise for me sinisterly capture my attention, my time, my emotions.

Maybe I shouldn't have done this post, because I don't have any real answers how to keep from falling for the counterfeit over and over again. I know I get smarter with each lesson learned and each bitter bite I take, but it seems like baking chocolate can be packaged with enough *variety* that you can believe again and again that THIS TIME it's going to be real. But it always tastes like poop. Or what I picture poop to taste like. I know...that's gross.

I think I'll learn to make brownies. That seems a beautiful--and tasty--solution :). I'm going to stay on my toes too, remaining as aware as I can that life continues to be what I make of it. It's precious and fleeting. And most of all, remembering I'm not alone in having to discern the fake from the sweet truth.

How about you--anything you know for sure is a counterfeit in your life?

friday fotos: we partied like it was 1982!

One of my good friends turned 28 this past weekend (yes...I hang out with BABIES ;) ). Always looking for reasons to throw themed parties, another friend of mine and I decided to take her special day back to 1982!

Here was the "before" picture. I thought nothing said "80's" like fruit-flavored Shasta cola (except maybe Tab, but I couldn't find cases of that stuff at Costco!).

Here I am making the typical Covergirl circa-early 80's Teen Magazine pose....

We didn't plan a black and yellow theme...but it worked for us :) ....

I had exclusive rights to the "after" photos (taken the next morning....late the next morning....the party went till 1:30 am!). Oh man!....whatever am I going to do with 50 cans of Shasta?

We had a huge turn out, but only those who dressed up got to be in the pictures :).

Unlike some of my younger friends, I actually LIVED through the 80's--with a sister 10 years older than me. That night felt like putting on the old uniform and going back into battle! It only took my hair 5 minutes to remember how to be ratted up and hold a "wing"! PLUS it was waaaay too easy to find 80's clothes. I guess it's like they say: Everything Old is New Again!

It was an unforgettable night! I feel so blessed to have such great friends who know how to have good, clean fun :) Now tell me....

WHAT WAS THE WORST THING YOU WORE IN THE 80's?!

and....~Happy Weekending!~

pretty things to look at

In the life of this blog, I have been approached numerous times about advertising. While the $6 a month that even-better-trafficked-than-my-blog blogs make with advertising IS tempting (ha!), I just decided it wasn't worth the extra loading time or the fact that you would be seeing ads for insurance and diet pills next to the often emotionally probing stories of my life. HOWEVER--every now and then a friend (real or computer) asks me if I would help them promote their business or cause and THAT....that I will do!

I met Amber when she was as old as my oldest is now (oh man! am I feeling my age after typing that!). Now she's all grown up and owns an amazing photography business. SO...if you like to look at pretty things--check her out! AND if you're amongst those of us lucky enough to live in the Treasure Valley area (and you know who you are!)-- she's giving away a free photo session. You're automatically entered if you leave a comment on her blog. I am fully of the opinion that a good photograph of yourself if life-altering. It would be SOOO worth entering if you can!


And you're welcome for not having to look at insurance and diet pill ads :) !

why single life ROCKS

I hesitate to do posts like this because I don't want ANYONE thinking that life as a divorced person is something they need or should aspire to. I continue to see the negative effects on my emotional capabilities, my physical health, and--most unfortunately--my children. Unless you are caught up in an unbreakable cycle of abuse, addiction, or adultery--I still advocate doing everything and anything you can to preserve and strengthen your marriage.




That being said, I am a big believer in making the best of whatever situation you're kicked into. And that's what I've been trying to do for the last 22 months. Here are some of the things about being single I've chosen to embrace:


1. Divorce was an ending, but it was also a beginning.... As much as some people feel they've "lost themselves" in the role of marriage and parenting, you reeeeeally lose yourself in a divorce. It's like someone reaches into your brain and hits the "reset" button. It's easy to mope around it that stage feeling perpetually sorry for yourself (and I've done my fair share of that too). But, in the spirit of optimism, I decided to look at myself as being given a new start. I went back to school. I rediscovered my love and ability to write. I sang in front of people. I learned how to maintain my home and yard and vehicle. How to ride a longboard. How to shoot a gun. And this weekend I learned to do this:

How to snowboard! I've lived within an hour of ski resort practically my whole life and just never went because (here's some vulnerable honesty for you!) I've never liked to try stuff I know I wouldn't be good at. I don't like making a fool of myself or feeling like I'm holding back others of more advanced ability. But since my divorce, I've totally dropped that attitude and am willing to make as many mistakes or fall on my behind as much as I need to till I get it down. I might not be super successful at everything I try, but I'm not afraid to try anymore because the experience is worth it! The added benefit of *rediscovering myself* is that for as much as I'd love to find someone to share my life with again, whoever it is will never be my only reason for happiness. They would definitely add joy, but if it ended--I know I would always still have me. And I like me!

2.My kids are really fun!..... I don't know if I have ever fully appreciated that as much as I do. I always loved spending time with them, but as long as I had my husband around--he was my main source of entertainment. Now I have a lot of free time to spend just hanging out with my kids--watching what they do, talking with them and being listened to by them, being included in their activities with friends and they with mine. They are smart and funny and insightful and caring and generous and flat out the majority of what is good in my life. I would say my favorite place in the world is sitting on my couch with one of my big boys on either side of me and my two little boys on my lap--watching a cartoon or reading a book. Pretty sure I've heard angel music fill my house during those times :).

3. I continue to learn what to do--and what not to do--next time: I know I was a good wife. Probably in the top 10% of wives. But it took me my maturing years to get there. I've learned now just how fragile and worth protecting relationships can be. I know I would never let things build up that would lead to resentment. I'll never go to bed or leave the house angry. I'll try my very hardest not to speak words that can't be taken back. Now that I've experienced the loss of a marriage....I know what I have to lose. I have needs too and will expect the same level of commitment and devotion from a 'significant other', but I know that if you put the work in--relationships can be incredibly rewarding.

And so life as a single woman with a half-full glass continues. I hope the things I've discovered during this time can be applied to you right now, regardless of your marital circumstances. I say take life by the hair, smack it up side the head, and show it who's boss because YOU ARE AWESOME :)!