12 things i learned in 2014

2014 was the best of times and the worst of times. Didn't I say that about 2013, too? Anyway--there's a lot of this year I love thinking back on and a lot I would like to forget...except for the lessons they taught me and the character they shaped.

Here are 12 things I learned this year:

1. HOMESCHOOLING IS AWESOME

The year I took in 2013 to homeschool my E through 8th grade made a HUGE difference as he headed into high school. He is organized, motivated, on task, and enjoying learning. He went from failing most of his classes to all A's and B's.

I am continuing to homeschool J and L, now 3rd and 5th grade. We do a hybrid where twice a week they attend a charter school learning center to study History and Science, and the other three days a week are spent at home learning everything else. It's the perfect mix of socialization, class work, mentoring, self-directed learning, and Pokemon trading at lunch. 

So, we have four kids in public school and two homeschooling (with one wishing she could homeschool but we don't get to pick for her--bummer). It is the perfect fit for our life, and I love it!

2. I AM NOT INVINCIBLE

I have spent so much time pushing myself further/harder, always healing quickly, that I was surprised at just how much injury plagued me this year. I had a torn adductor brevis muscle that hobbled me for a good month, a wonky elbow that still gives me pain, sore ankles, strained foot arches, a numb hand, two ear infections, and a nearly broken foot. I still haven't figured out if that means I need to work out more, less, or differently, but I have learned that I have to give myself proper down time or pay the price in re-injury. On the plus side, down time means books, snuggles, and chocolate.

3. I LOVE THE BEACH!

I spent a LOT of time at the beach this year. I have two kiddos who took to boogie boarding and wanted to go all the time. Plus, with the uncommonly hot summer we had and no air conditioning in our house, it was the best place to go and cool down. I love seeing it at different times of day, love searching for shells and sea glass at low tide, love the salty tang of the air, the feel of  water swirling around my ankles, love the beachy curls it creates in my hair. A good barefoot run on the sand is a free heel exfoliating. Also, beach people are really, really nice.

4. THINGS ALWAYS GET BETTER

I think the most frustrating thing about 2014 was that it seemed we could NOT catch a break! As soon as we'd knock one problem down, another would pop up, often at the same time that the problem we had just fixed came unfixed. I have no idea how we got through some of what we did...but we did. Usually at the last minute and almost always with the help of friends, family, and angels on earth. Here was a thought from my journal about our cycle of woes:

"It's one of those days that comes after a long stretch of tough days. It feels, in fact, as if our life has been playing a game of "what can go wrong today" for the last month--car problems, tax problems, school problems, gossip problems, house problems, work problems, health problems, etc. etc. Not that our blessings weren't always there to soften the blows, but when your reserves of faith and patience get all used up, even listing your blessings feels more like making a hit list of what is going to be tried next than an exercise in gratitude. However, today feels like everything is going to be ok, even though nothing has changed. My family is amazing. My life is exceptional. My body is strong. My talents are better than your average bear. I live where I can hear the ocean. Little girls think I'm Ariel. Things are going to work out. They always were going to. I just needed a little clear thinking to remember."

I hope 2015 will be a little less stressful, but I go into knowing that as long as I am working my hardest and holding to the faith, everything works out.

5. I SHOULDN'T GO INTO THE T-SHIRT MAKING BUSINESS...

Seriously. Forgot the T.   I was supposed to be the GANGSTA of  love. Mr. Perfect wouldn't let me throw it out though. It's in a place we can see and  laugh about it regularly. 

6.  YOU CAN'T BEAT A CALIFORNIA SUNSET

'Nuff said.

7. OUR KIDS ARE GOOD SPORTS

We dress them up, we teach them silly songs, we make movies with them and have them puppet creatures and they are (nearly) always on board for the adventure. It often feels like we are raising the Little Rascals. We wouldn't change a thing!

8. HAVING GIRLS IS FUN!

I really, really like being a mom to girls. I'm still learning but they are patient with me. I love them dearly.

9. THE FAMILY THAT VOLUNTEERS TOGETHER...

We had a lot of opportunities this year to take the kids and do service. Sometimes they were more excited than others, but they were always happy they went at the end of it. This particular picture is of us digging up wild mustard and planting milkweed to attract butterflies to the area just behind the therapeutic riding center. Every time we pass by it, the kids remember and  are proud of their work (which has now grown into a lovely, lush area). 

10. PUBLISHING A BOOK IS AWESOME!!

I'm the writer who married the artist--but he still got his book published before mine :). It was AWESOOOOOME! We loved driving around to various bookstores and spying it. The launch party sold out. Amazon sold out. The reviews have been great. Kids love it. Book two of the series comes out in June. We can't wait to do it all again! My day for publishing will come sooner or later and it won't be nearly as colorful, but that's the awesome thing about marrying someone just like you who is also different.

11. I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH BOISE

Even with all the beaches and warm golden sunshine California has been seducing me with, nothing can replace my beloved Boise. So, so happy to have finally got to go back (after nearly two years!). Mr. Perfect loves it too. We have got to find some way to live between both places. The answer seems like money. But that seems like the answer to a lot of things. In the mean time, I cherish the perfect weekend I spent there revisiting all my old favorite places. They hadn't forgotten about me. Boise is kind like that.

12. AND DOG MAKES US A FAMILY OF 9

When your oldest is 17, and you realize you only have a year left with him at home, and the only thing he asks for is a dog for Christmas, and he has asked for one since he was 10, and you can hardly say no to his big green eyes, and some friends set you up with the perfect dog looking for a new home, and even offer to drive all the stinking way to Utah to bring the dog back, and then your kids have the best surprise ever Christmas morning...

You are happy.

A nearly perfect life just got a nearly perfect dog added to it.

2014--I won't be sad to see you go, but I thank you for all you have given me. And all you have taken in the form of pride, fear, and stubbornness. I pray 2015 will be full of more pleasant surprises, but ever softened by the experiences of the past year.

2011: the year that almost kicked my bum...and that's saying a lot

I can't believe I went a week without posting! In my head I've been writing it, but I suppose that does you no good, right? I've been busy with my boys, busy with work (fresh start/new year stuff), busy at Fusion magazine hashing out our new issue (17 writers to manage, 30 stories--hi-yah!), busy at interior design stuff, and realllly busy trying to get my MFA portfolios ready to mail out this weekend. Oh...and I was busy winning this contest, too.

Busy.

That was pretty much my theme for 2011.

The year seemed to pass in a flash until I slow it down month by month and then think, Whoa! How the heck did I do all that?! Here's a small portion of what I experienced, accomplished, endured, and learned in 2011:

JANUARY
The year didn't start off well. (<-- still my most read blog post ever). In fact, the first few months of the year were spent taking my boy squad through one of the most emotionally grueling periods of their life, exposing them to way more than I wanted to as to what had been going on behind closed doors the previous two years. Followed by an episode of PTSD and a kidney stone for me. I like to think the boys and I made it...or are at least still on our way.

FEBRUARY
Valentines Day made me realize Ninja and I weren't just "waiting things out for a while" as friends, hoping to become more again as I had thought. It was really over. He wasn't willing to make the changes I needed him to make in his life--and I really can't fault him. I think how insanely hard making permanent changes in my own life is, and how I can't expect it to be any easier for someone else. Even for love. He is still responsible for some of my happiest, funniest memories, and one of the best friends I've ever had. And he still gave me bragging rights that I long-term dated someone eight years younger than me :)  I wish things could have ended differently, but life goes on. It must.

Also--I read the majority of these books. In one month. Did I mention I picked this semester to take 25 credits? 9 of them Literature courses. Pretty sure I was clinically insane.

MARCH
I watched my bestest single girlfriend get married. I'll never forget the huge grin on her face as she walked out of the park where their ceremony was held, while I blasted "My Chick Bad" on my ghetto blaster (yes, I still use the term 'ghetto blaster' :) ). I thought about how single life was going to be so different without her, so much less "wheeeeew fun!" In fact, this year saw many of my single girlfriends get married and have babies. *Graduating* we call it.

March is also the month I learned I hadn't been accepted to the one MFA program I'd applied to. I was stupid and/or overly hopeful and/or confident to just apply to only one place. I did it too rushed. I knew I wouldn't get in...but the news still hurt. I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation, but I knew I wasn't going to give up. Ninja took me to shoot my rejection letter. Best. day. ever.

APRIL
I did it! I did it! I did it! Somehow, I finished the 25 credit semester. I graduated from a prestigious English/Writing program with honors and a 3.6 GPA (3.8 for the semester). I walked the line on a Saturday. I had two job offers on Monday. I met Mr. Perfect who seemed to think I was pretty swell. I took a deep breath for the first time in months. I thought life couldn't get any better.

MAY
I think I spent most of May sleeping. Seriously. I needed it. J turned 5. There was Mother's Day. That's about all I remember.

JUNE
The month of whiplash change for me. As a graduation present to myself, I flew down to spend my birthday in Southern California and take in the Tim Burton exhibit with Mr. Perfect. Sadly, heartbreakingly, a few days before I got there, he realized he still had a chance with an old girlfriend of his and decided to take it. We still had a great day together. I just kind of thought the world had ended is all. Thank goodness for a blogging friend turned real life friend who swooped in and saved that day with Mexican food and gelato.

Two weeks later, I met Dr. Yummy. I knew almost right away that he was *the one.* The one you meet who makes you realize why it didn't work out with anyone else. I don't think I've ever smiled so much. Ever. He had such a passion for life and seemed so eager to join in everything I loved, too. Every day was an adventure with him. And my kids adored the man. I thought it was going to finally be my turn to "graduate." Dr. Yummy talked that way, too.

JULY
It was just bliss. Spent mornings hiking and longboarding, long nights looking at stars while I walked hand in hand with the one I was growing more attached to every day. Hours of talking. Loved my perfect job (even though it was only a paid internship). Loved writing for the magazine. Threw myself the coolest backyard concert belated birthday party where I got to feature some of my uber talented friends and enjoy the company of all I loved.

AUGUST
 Started out wonderfully. I took a trip to the Peterson family's mountain cabin with the boys and Dr. Yummy. We paddle boated and played in the sand on the lake. Much laughter. Dr. Yummy took  Z, E, and I white water rafting for the first time. I never knew I could be so in love. My heart was at peace.  I was unafraid.

The last week in August, I learned that my internship had to end--not enough money to keep paying for it when the project I was hired to work on wasn't taking off as smoothly as they'd hoped. Terrified, and with no idea of where to even start looking for employment, I clung to my boys, my faith, and Dr. Yummy.

SEPTEMBER
Actually enjoyed being out of work for this month. I had enough income to pull me through and buy me some time. It was wonderful being a stay at home mom again--cleaning my house, working in the yard, baking cookies, volunteering, being there when the boys got home. It was all so familiar, so good again. I still think it's what I was meant to do. I wish it could have lasted. But, looking for work became my full time work despite meeting with a lot of dead/no promise ends.

In happier news, I "auditioned" (via work submission) my way into an MFA Poetry workshop and was able to assistant teach a 300-level Fiction class. School, writing...they always worked magic on my soul. They were (and are) always there for me.

OCTOBER
Usually my favorite month. Not so much this year. This happened mid-October. Apparently Dr. Yummy hadn't been as in love as he claimed to be. Apparently this was a pattern with him. Apparently I was stupid to think I should be any different. Break-ups happen. I'm ok with it...or still learning to be. I still only hope the best for him.

God didn't let me stay in despair too long. He started to open up some doors right away. A new job working PR and Marketing and using my writing. A new group of single friends to have fun with. A darling 7 year old with half his teeth missing. Success in the classes I was taking/teaching. Fall. Halloween. My childrens' laughter. An increase in faith.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
Life has blossomed again in the form of opportunity. In addition to the new job (which I adore!), I was promoted to Literary Director at Fusion Magazine--a chance to shape the entire voice of a thus far visually-driven magazine. I took on a regular design client who has months of projects she wants to work on and doesn't mind paying my full fee. I got the awesome chance to start co-hosting an NPR-style radio show about writing. I decided to make another run at MFA programs. People I meet already seem to know my name--who I am, what I stand for, what I am capable of, my red hair. I am, I believe they say, "arriving." Humbled.

I also decided to start dating again in late December. Casually. Cautiously. I have some good prospects, one in particular who seems to be willing to give me the time and space I need, but wants me to know he's there...and that he like-likes me. It's scary having been hurt so many times. I'm not looking to rush into anything but hopefully, maybe, one day. We'll see. Slow and steady. I like me. Just like I am. I don't want to lose me again. I want to find someone who doesn't want to change me. Someone who can keep up :)

So, as I complete my first week of 2012, and after having finished a successful and well-attended reading tonight, I almost don't want to go to sleep. Reality, for once, is winning over my dreams. I know it won't always be like this. I wouldn't want it to be. I have learned I NEED trials. I need growth and refinement. I won't ever choose them, but I still need them. For now though...for now, this is just the breather I needed.

Here's to the New Year. May it be blessed and pleasant for all of us!

to resolve or not to resolve.....that is sort of the question

So, I'm back......kinda. I'm on some kind of emergency back up hard drive that was stuck in my computer and will hold me over until the information gets magically "grabbed" off my other hard drive. Then through some kind of high tech voodoo black magic the two hard drives will be meshed together to give me my life back. I couldn't have even gotten to this point without the extremely generous help of Haute Cakes Mystery Man.......who came to visit the boysquad and I this week.....but more on that another time (when I get permission to post the breakdancing photos :) ).

I can't tell you how much I've missed everyone out here in blogland! Sure I've cleaned all my closets and done some reading and watched Craig Fergeson's monologue for the first time in months and baked and gone to bed (most nights) before 3 am----but it was all like a little forced vacation. I still feel like blogging is as good a use of my time and energies and talents as anything else I could do. As I looked at the Christmas cards I'd received this year, I realized that almost half of them were from blogging friends-turned real-life friends, and I can't express adequately enough my gratitude for what you ladies (and few gentlemen) add to my life. THANK YOU!!!

So here we are to New Year's Eve again. It honestly seems like yesterday that I was writing last year's resolutions. There were only 4. Let's see how I did. They were:

1. Smile More. : hmmmmmm.......I don't know if I accomplished this one or not. I think I smiled about the same amount. But given the circumstances of the last 365 days, the same amount is pretty darn good!

2. Serve More. Again--don't know how well I did with this one. But, I did learn to BE served this year. That was a big one for me. Taking help from others has never been easy, but I have so appreciated the selfless acts of kindness extended to me by family, friends, and mere acquaintances.

3. Reduce Media. Failed horribly at this one! Getting Rockband for Christmas didn't help AT ALL! But we still play board games and read as a family and do a lot of simple hanging out talking and laughing, so we're making time for one another in the midst of all the TV and wii and computer. And all the media excess did net me one crazy crush on Sporticus....so ya know.

4. Lose this 10 pounds. Hey! This one I did!!! I lost it PLUS 20 more. Took Rheumatic Fever to get it off, but it's stayed off for nearly a year now, and I view it as a daily gift that I don't take for granted. I haven't felt more physically like myself in a long time.

****and so there I am. And you know what I've resolved for this year? To not resolve. Yup. I'm just kind of letting life lead me along in 2009. I'll embrace any opportunities that come my way. I'll be industrious most days, and lazy on days when that mood strikes me. It's a different feeling for me to just let go and live in the moment the way I have been forced to this year---to realize that I really don't have a lot of control over my life except the way I choose to react to what is thrown at me. But it's the feeling I know I need to embrace for another year. The time will come for *forward thinking* again.... some day. When I can see a future that makes sense and can deal once more with details--- In the present it's all about making some pretty serious decisions, and my peace comes from taking things one day at a time, so that's what I'm going to keep doing. Wait......is that resolving to do something? Hmmmmm...... :)

Hopefully I'll get my pictures back in the next couple of days and we'll have a hum-dinger of a Friday Fotos to get you caught up. Be ready, too, for a lot of comment lovin' coming y'alls way!

~Thanks for hanging with me.~

May your New Year be blessed in every way possible. May you find joy in simple pleasures. May your hearts be full of laughter. May you act as angels to those around you. May your every day hold a pleasant surprise.....or two.

Happy New Year :)!

and now christmas is REALLY over...

My in-laws always have their Christmas celebration on New Years Day. It gives their children's families a chance to just kind of hang together on Christmas day, and not worry about traveling. It's actually a lot of fun to know that after Christmas is over, there will always be a bit more a week later!

This is the view from their house:
gorgeous, isn't it? We use to live just down the road. It was right after we got married, and I was completely unaccustomed to country life. The fact that there was NOTHING but fields and hills out my window use to drive me crazy. Now that I can only see fences and more houses, I really miss this!

The lighting in Mom and Dad Peterson's house was perfect. I think I took like a hundred pictures! Here's my cutie pie niece M holding James:

and here are a couple more cutie-pie nieces who were mere babies when Brad and I got married:
Zane wore my favorite shirt:
This is my lovely sister-in-law and her camera that I am very jealous of. I have learned that Canon kicks Pentax's behind in the quick focus department.
Nothing like an empty box to rally all the little ones together:

And once they were out of the box, they all wanted to play with Great Aunt Eileen. I think all the children love her because she is always smiling and sitting still. She will listen to them talk about anything for hours!:
I told Brad to give me a kiss and had my niece K take a picture--only Brad doesn't look much into the kissing thing, does he? :)
Lost in a sea of presents and people. It was every man for himself as far as finding a place to sit!:
And I photographed the desserts to show you my great resolved will power. I didn't even have a bite!:
Mom and Dad Peterson always give the best gifts. Mom looks all year long for the 50 or so gifts needed for all seven of her kids, their spouses, her grandchildren, THEIR spouses, and great-grandchildren too. Every year she says that's it and there will be no more presents next year. We all tell her that's fine and she can stop making a fuss, and yet the very next Christmas--there are the presents again! Bless their hearts! And what magnificent thing was waiting beneath the layer of paper this year?:

Yes, that says ONE THOUSAND thread count sheets. It's like I died and went to luxury hotel heaven!************************

I think someone looooooooves them!!!

happy new year!

ingredients for a happy new years eve:



*All the boxes of animal crackers that use to be hanging on the Christmas tree. The ones you've promised your children all through December that they could eat after Christmas!

*Lots of things to dip in fondue. Yes, I realize my husband and I were just at a fondue restaurant on Friday, but we couldn't keep all that fondue lovin' to ourselves, could we?
*Lots of sharp little forkie things to poke at all the fondue ingredients with. Watch out--I could stab you clean through with these!
*Kids happy that they get to play with their food. We also had friends over--good friends that I didn't take pictures of. How thoughtful of me!
*Everyone waiting for the ball to drop (notice all the confetti on my family room floor--poppers in the hands of eight children: very fun, very noisy, very smoky, very messy!)
*It's 2008!!!!

And now it's nearly 1:00 am and I am blogging because I can't sleep. Brad had to go back into work to do statements (yes working after midnight can be a joy that you, too, can have as a small business owner!!!). I hate the thought of him out there with all those drunk drivers.....

But as that is not a very happy way to end a post, I'll say again: HAPPY NEW YEAR!I'd like to think that the best is yet to come!

resolved!

Here's my cute new year's banner! (stayed up till 1 am on Saturday making it!) Thanks to Meg for the idea--hers were better, but I'm still pleased with mine. I cut heavy silver cardstock into 6X6 inch squares. Used glue dots to affix glittery letters I found at Michaels. Punched holes at the top and threaded everything onto feathery yarn. All ready for our wild and crazy party tonight--sparkling cider, confetti poppers, and everyone falling asleep in front of the TV by 11:45 :)!
So what would a New Year's post be without a few resolutions? I spent a lot of time pondering what I wanted to improve about myself over the coming year, and had a good, honest conversation with myself in my journal last night. You get the very abbreviated version!:

1. SMILE MORE: I feel happy inside, I need to show it on the outside. My 'getting stuff done' face looks awfully grumpy, and I don't want my children remembering me like that. Plus, I always feel better when I smile!!!

2. SERVE MORE: My family, my friends, my neighbors, complete strangers--time to start following through on some of those good intentions. I'll even think about something I can do to serve all my blogging buddies, though most of you are awfully far away.....

3. REDUCE MEDIA: Now it's probably just because we've taken all of December off of school, but it seems that the TV, wii games, movies, and computer are getting a bit out of hand. I turn them off, kids turn them on. Even little James knows what buttons to push to turn everything ON! My kids are natural visual learners, but I'm not sure how much Shrek or Sonic and Mario at the Olympics teach them! I want to be able to hear the good music I'm playing, or just hear contented silence for a while. I'm busy devising some kind of ticket system to keep it down to two hours a day. Any advice on things you do in your house would be helpful.

4. LOSE THIS 10 POUNDS: that seems to have attached itself permanently to me. Don't know that it's fair to call it 'pregnancy weight' since I haven't been pregnant for a year and a half, but that's when it made its uncerimonious entrance and it hasn't gone home since. This one's tricky since I already work out faithfully five days a week for an hour or more. I guess I could up it to six days, either that or dessert has got to go (except Saturday ice cream man!--nobody's going to get rid of my Saturday ice cream!). I know there are some things I can do to make a difference, and I just need to do them --all the while being patient and kind--but still serious--with myself. And what would New Year's be without a weight loss goal, right? (I say as I go to prepare our pary fondue.....)

I wish you all a Happy New Year's eve, and may your year ahead be filled with blessings and plenty of pleasant surprises!