11 years ago today

I became a mom for the first time.



I was nearly two weeks over my due date and dilated to a whole, stinking "1". Pitocin would soon be my only remaining option.....and cause me to start on the journey of a 17 hour labor. With 2 epidurals. And 3 hours of pushing. And a doctor who actually threw a fit in the delivery room because he was made to get out of bed in the middle of the night and I "wasn't doing 'it' right(!!!)".

And then there were shouts of "clot her! She's bleeding out!".... and the last thing I saw before I threw up and passed out was the sweetest face I'd ever seen. He wasn't making a peep---just staring at me like he knew me. I will never forget that look. It wasn't until 6 hours later when I came to that I finally held baby Zane for the first time. He cried like a tiny donkey. He smelled like every good thing in the world. It felt like my arms were made just to hold him.
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11 years ago.
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Crazy.
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I use to have to hold his hand to make sure he stayed with me. And now he can ride his bike around the block to his friend's house by himself.

I use to have to stay near him while he held his little brothers---just to be safe. And now he can babysit all of them while I run to grab milk or take a walk. He doesn't even ask to get paid.

He is naturally good at EVERYTHING---like his dad. And creative---like his Mom. He started reading the Calvin and Hobbes books alone when he was 5 1/2--- he just taught himself by following along with the words while I would read to him. He learned to play the piano as well as I could after my 5 years of lessons---in 16 months. He beats grown-ups at chess and Guitar Hero and wii anything. He taught me how to use Powerpoint. He cares deeply for his faith and his brothers and his friends and people in general.
And he even picks shirts like this out---all by himself:

Happy Birthday Zaney! It was a wild, wild ride to get you here but you have made my life so complete. I love you more than I could ever manage to say. You are a good boy :). I hope you have the happiest 11th year ever.

xoxo (and you're not too old to get those either!)
~Mom