So here's the scoop.
I have spent 3 hours locked in my room with my laptop and a notebook, blaring Muse music, and waiting.....to dream up the next bestseller....about baseball playing, glittery vampires. And I have come to the conclusion that I. am. no. Stephenie. Meyer.
Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer---well, except when I wanted to be a hotel maid and Speaker of the House--but mostly a writer. I have had some of my poetry published, two short stories too. But we all know we gotta write the next Twilight or Harry Potter or Crazy Oprah's Book of the Month to be able to buy ourselves 1961 Astin-Martin DB5's and Alan Rickman's undying love (or is that just me?).
I obviously can't NOT write, because here I am again today---like most days---spewing my random thoughts.
But how does one really WRITE A NOVEL?
I dunno.
I do know that Muse starts sounding like just -noise- after 3 hours
And that for my time, I pretty much just have this ordered pay scale I have devised in my head to show. It runs from least paid to most paid:
*Hobos
*Philosophers (who are esentially just hobos with degrees)
*Poets
*Shakespearean Actors
*Drummers in Goth Rock Bands
*Pet Insurance Salesmen
*Former childhood actors starring in Mama's Family
Hmmmm.....I think I may actually know a few of these people. Glad to be rubbing shoulders with them too. We're a good bunch--those of us who do what we do for the love of it.
***And also the undying hope that one day buckets of money will just spontaneously rain down on our head.***
So I guess the point of all this randomness is: Are YOU writing the next great American novel too?!
and Lula! I'm leaving your pole dance song up for another day. But remember that I've still got dibs for dancing to the "Sesame Street" theme.....so I can leave the sleazy men feeling all conflicted ;).
I have spent 3 hours locked in my room with my laptop and a notebook, blaring Muse music, and waiting.....to dream up the next bestseller....about baseball playing, glittery vampires. And I have come to the conclusion that I. am. no. Stephenie. Meyer.
Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer---well, except when I wanted to be a hotel maid and Speaker of the House--but mostly a writer. I have had some of my poetry published, two short stories too. But we all know we gotta write the next Twilight or Harry Potter or Crazy Oprah's Book of the Month to be able to buy ourselves 1961 Astin-Martin DB5's and Alan Rickman's undying love (or is that just me?).
I obviously can't NOT write, because here I am again today---like most days---spewing my random thoughts.
But how does one really WRITE A NOVEL?
I dunno.
I do know that Muse starts sounding like just -noise- after 3 hours
And that for my time, I pretty much just have this ordered pay scale I have devised in my head to show. It runs from least paid to most paid:
*Hobos
*Philosophers (who are esentially just hobos with degrees)
*Poets
*Shakespearean Actors
*Drummers in Goth Rock Bands
*Pet Insurance Salesmen
*Former childhood actors starring in Mama's Family
Hmmmm.....I think I may actually know a few of these people. Glad to be rubbing shoulders with them too. We're a good bunch--those of us who do what we do for the love of it.
***And also the undying hope that one day buckets of money will just spontaneously rain down on our head.***
So I guess the point of all this randomness is: Are YOU writing the next great American novel too?!
and Lula! I'm leaving your pole dance song up for another day. But remember that I've still got dibs for dancing to the "Sesame Street" theme.....so I can leave the sleazy men feeling all conflicted ;).
46 comments:
Me too! I have been writing stories since I first learned how to write my letters! I have finished 1 book and have a bunch half written- two I'm writing now but I read them and think the same thing- I'm no SM or JK Rowling or LM Montgomery. Oh well... maybe someday.
oh, you.
i'm not writing a novel. maybe i should be a hotel maid...
Here's what we're going to do. We're going to team up and I'll dream the crazy freaky vampire best seller dreams and you write the dream in your oh so glamorous words and we'll both be millionares! Seriously, I can give you great sci-fi stuff. :)
I just found your blog and
you are an awesome writer. Please don't give up!
I'm with Terri on this one - don't give up! Yes, I too am trying to write the next Great Novel, but the funny thing is that I'm not writing to publish. I'm writing to exorcise this story that keeps playing in my head! It is driving me batty. So, even though I suck at writing, I insist on putting it down on paper to get the ideas OUT. OF. ME! I know... my husband is worried about my state of mind too. But don't put so much pressure on yourself unless you work better in big chunks of time like that. I usually write for about 30 minutes a day. It is garbage what I write, but I keep writing. You can do this!
once again miss Jennifer P you made me giggle. thanks so much. I thought immediately of Jo in little women and what her future husband told her when he read her horrid thrillers - write from you heart ... write what you know and you may be surprised what comes from there. You CAN do this. You really really can!
First - have you heard the Dance Remix Version of the Sesame Street Theme song??
I have no idea how to write a book... I'm challenged by a grocery list so....
But you go girl and I SO want an autographed copy.
Writing a novel intimidates me too much. I'd be happy to have a children's book published.
Have I told you lately that I love your blog?? ;)
I have no idea if I'd be any good writing a novel. My guess is no, but I do want to learn the skill. I could care less if anything got published, I just want to grow in my writing skills.
I do not write because I am lazy.
All I can think of is to write about what you know.
Maybe you'll have a fabulous dream like Stephenie, but if you write a love sotry, could you make the dialog much much MUCH better than hers? Like I little more profound. And interesting. I do forget it was originally aimed at adolescents.
Sometimes I think I could write pretty dang interesting books or stories from what I day dream about. Yes I still day dream. A lot. It's so pathetically sad.
OK, this was brilliant and I was saying to myself, "She is so fabulous and I'll even let the 'after 3 hours Muse starts to sound like noise' comment just slip on by, because I dig her that much..." (I love Muse. I love noise. The end.)
And then I read the final part...about my pole song, Sesame Street jams, and conflicted, sleazy men.
I cackled...and I'm still cacking. Oh my head, girl...you are BRILLIANT.
Jen just like you I've always wanted to be a writer. I think for me fear is what holds me back. I think of great(according to me) opening starters but I never write them down. Just don't give up. I know you are a talented lady, it will come.
I'm definitely not writing the next great American novel...if I have any ideas..I'll pass them along your way!!! You though...I expect to see your name (or a fake name that you have come up with because you'll be so wildly popular! Isn't there a name for that...you know, when author's use another name rather than their own??) And man oh man....the pictures on your last post...YIKES! That's all I have to say about that! And maybe yuck too...those people will never make it to be old in my opinion.
If anyone is going to be the next Stephenie Meyer, it is going to be you! I love to read your blog and see what funny thing is going through your mind. Just write something about your life and bring your sense of humor into it and it will be a hit!!!
Every now and then I sit down and add to this one story I've been writing for awhile. Maybe it will be a book someday...who knows. I work with twilight obsessed teens and tweens all day in my library, and I'd like to think I know what they like. (So humble, am I) I write with music in the background, the tv on, or sometimes Grey's Anatomy DVDs. Whatever works for you, I guess. Just remember, if it gets published and made into a movie, Lula must do the soundtrack.
My mom always told me I have enough for a book, only I would need someone else to write it. you interested?? lol
Only thing is, it would be a drama, and I detest drama! lol
Well... you are a great writer! All you need to come up with is an idea and I seriously think you could be well on your way to being a novelist. I'll buy your book. :)
All the novels I would write, someone beat me to it. So I am satisfied with just knowing in my heart, they were all my ideas first. So far, that's been enough.
Great music, btw.
Not writing a novel at all! I think I would lose track of characters and places if I tried that. It would just be a mess! Good luck though!
When I was younger, I wrote stories ALL the time. I even co-wrote a play we did Junior year in high school. But my creativity is channeled in my baking now. So, no great American novel for me.
I have been writing for years. I still have papers stapled together from like age 7 or 8 with stories written on them. I wrote tons of poetry in Junior high that I still think is pretty good and a series of children's stories about Deeno the Dinosaur (my sister --four years older--turned them in for an assignment in high school and got an A!) and I have written a couple entire novels and several partial novels. I even had an agent for two years to no avail. Writing to me is not so hard (these people live inside my head). . .getting noticed by agents and editors with query letters and partials is not so hard. . .actually getting published is a killer!
But you are good, and I have faith in you. And when you get it all figured out send your agent my way. . .please. Thank you.
Hobos! Ha! That cracked me up!!!
Yep, I'm writing a book too!!! Most of us bloggers are wanna be writers...can't wait to see who ends up famous!!! Keep working at it!
Hold on to your dream, girl! :)
You will be the next Stephanie Meyer...I am sure of it! And I hope to be one of the first to get an autographed copy!
well...honestly, i would love to be the one to wrtie the next great-american novel, but alas, wehn i write it is ajumbled mess that is rarely understandable....i wish that i could just dream something (like steph meyers) and then be able to write something truly amazing tand then be able to support my family for the rest of my life on the book sales. (i just don't think that that is going to happen in this lifetime.....sigh!)
For all of you aspiring writers...have you heard of the National Novel Writing Month? It's a bit late to sign up this year...unless you can write 50,000 words in 5 days....but it takes place every November. The deets are that if you do that then you have basically written a 150 page
novel and you conquer NaNoMo- so they bind and print copies of your novel for you. It doesn't get published unless someone sees it and loves it.
There are huge groups that meet all over the U.S....and tons of motivation stuff....
Anyhow, thought all of you ambitious peeps should know....
I on the other hand, blog for the pure happy thoughts of free therapy and fun comments ;)
Hi. I snuck onto your blog because a friend told me about it. I gotta say, I was captivated. Maybe you should just publish your blog? I would buy it. :)You are incredible.
Well, I think I was about to start the next great American novel, but then I scrolled down to see those photos in the last post, and I lost my train of thought. Sigh. And I really could have used those buckets of money.
I think you should write a children's book. Imaginary friends.....a friend who gives a child insight from another world.
Maybe a secret world........an under ground water way that leads to a new world.......
OK, so I've had wine tonight and I'm tired.
I just checked in at BATW, and Zane, you have a great writing style! Very unique like your mom's! I'm glad the bird was able to learn to fly and there weren't any major catastrophes. (Jennifer P: Ahahaha! I LOVE that Zane says he found the bird, and you just happened to be outside "taking pictures of (your)self" How awesome is that??!)
Your blog is so fun to read. I love the colors and the spirit you have.
Good luck with your writings!
Great blog! And as for the great American novel, I have no clue where to start. But good luck.
drummers in gothic rock bands make a little less than hobos! LOL
yaaaay Jon! You took the bait :)! You're the coolest goth rock drummer I know--even if you feel yourself in the hobo classification. Minus hobo division starts to touch into the crack whore element, and well--I just didn't want to go there. Hobos are jolly and funny and entertaining----crack whores--not so much.
Good thing you have a couple of other jobs too! :)
i'm glad i don't have to ride in trains...just a dirty Toyota Tundra (well, the rain will fix that tonight!) JON
When I grow up I am going to be a writer to too. I just can't seem to find the imagination or the time or the motivation. Darn..
BTW, childhood actors, starring in Mama's Family get residual checks for as long as the show continues to air.
That being said, the amount per check, after taxes, AFTRA, etc.... $12... I think I could make more as Hobo with a sign saying, "Will work for Food" - of course, just standing there would be work enough for a slothful hobo like me.
I had no idea there were so many people NOT trying to write the next great American novel...I thought that was just something we all did...*sigh* well, at least I am, too.
Yaaaay Rich! You took the bait too ;)! I only need my friend the pet insurance salesman and the Shakespearean actor to comment now. I don't know any acutal hobos or philosophers. But I do hang with gypsys, tramps, and thieves. :)
Like you--and half the world--I also love to write. I took an amazing corresponding course from Long Ridge Writer's about magazine articles. I know it's not a 'novel idea' (excuse the pun!) but it's a way to get your foot in the door. And I think your life experiences would appeal to a HUGE reading audience as well as tweek the interest of an editor. So, until you find that great idea, try magazine articles. After the course I even have had a few articles purchased which was a nice affirmation of my talent. Good luck!
I have never professed to be a writer. Sometimes when I am reading, I will say to myself "I could do that." But truthfully. I doubt it. I have a permanent case of writer's block.
And then friends of mine in my book club read my blog. And they always want to know when I am going to get published. I tell them that I do it myself. Daily. Now...if I could only figure out a way to get paid...
You are just so FUNNY!
Oh man, that's an idea. Somehow, use your completely unique, funny, "can get non-readers to read your writings" (and self proclaimed ramblings), to write the best novel EVER! Can novels include statements like the last one(s) you made?
"I'm leaving your pole dance song up for another day. But remember that I've still got dibs for dancing to the "Sesame Street" theme.....so I can leave the sleazy men feeling all conflicted ;)."
I wish you could write things that have your perspective and humor in them. You're just so unique that way. I STILL am in awe at how you can leave only a few sentences in your comments, and make such huge statement(s), especially using your humor!
Well, good luck on your writing adventure, and I hope for buckets and buckets of money to fall down upon you, especially since that's not why you write. It would just be an added bonus to the pleasure derived.
OH!!! I just thought of this last thought that someone should tell you!!! I don't know if you know of this talent you have, but it is the talent of knowing how your reader feels while reading your stuff. I don't know how you do that, but you do it. THAT's a talent that you should know about yourself (in case you didn't already know....and I'm embarrassing you now). I hope you USE THE SOCKS OFF OF IT!!!
I know about the Muse thing, but I have never been able to write with the music blaring... I can't help but sing along! And then I just end up rockin' out for hours on end in my pajamas (my work clothes) while imagining myself back into a former life that I don't really miss anyway. My successful writing attempts have all come from other inspirations... I think you could write a story about an intriguing woman who charms complete strangers into reading all about her life and thoughts through her relatable prose of humor and nutmeg. Oh, and yes, it would be autobiographical.
I always think about writing a novel. And then I try to start. And then I stop. Cuz, it takes concentration, and I can only do that in small doses. At least, that's what I tell myself. :)
I can't wait to hear what next years Thanksgiving fiasco is either!
I am totally with you on this topic! I think since i love to write and appreciate great writing I should therefore be skilled and inspired to write. But NO! I have done the very same senario, locked in room with nothing but time and music to write the next great american novel, only to find NOTHING happens! So sad but I will not give up. It only takes ONE great idea, right?
I have a completed novel (historical fiction) but it is in need of desperate revision...but i'm a mom...have veyr little time and a grandma who is laying on the guilt trip for me to write her life's story before she dies.
try looking in your area for a writer's conference...so much information is at your finger tips there...or a writing group or org in your area that meets every month or so.
good on you for having a goal...i definitely am going to keep working toward mine too...even though it seems impossible most days. :-)
Post a Comment