If you happen to be single and a person other people can find on the internet, be prepared to receive "love" letters like these:
well that is very nice the you have that ability (JP talking now---I don't know what "ability" he is referring to....) , im truly interested on you pleace no be ofended the i ask you for you phone number, i not a enternet guy so i wodlike to get to know you on the more realistic way , i wish to now if our spirit encounter get any transcendences. Mr. Rabbit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh wait. there's more......you can't make this stuff up people.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello..How are you doing,am florence and would love tpo get to knwo you better..i know you would definately sound like an angel on phone..reallly have you a very beautiful face..i would like you to email me to donald.wales@yahoo.com...Hope to hear from you soon..i want a loving and tendering woman..that would always be faithful..a woman i would love and would love me in return..I must confess you are an angel...i would love to know you better..i can make you love again...i would take care of yu like you have never been taken care of before..i would love you like you have never been loved.....Hope to hear from you soon..send me an email
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you laughing? I was!!!..............cut and pasted exactly like I got 'em!
I just can't make up my mind as to which of these obviously fine men to choose. Hmmmmm..... :I And these are from a Facebook-like website geared for members of my church for crying out loud-- not a dating website!
I really would love, one day, when God thinks I'm ready-- to meet someone who was crazy about me and crazy about my kids and crazy about his faith---- but not just plain crazy......and (with the exception of a few great friends I've been privileged to make) thus far--- it's been a continuous conga line of crazy, ladies!
Please pray for me..... or maybe make a Michael Scott-esque sacrifice to something with the head of a monkey and antlers like a reindeer and the body of a porcupine........but mostly pray. For Peace. Patience. Inspiration. Ability...... And the speed I need to outrun these Scary Larry's should I ever come across them in a dark alley!
Thank you :) .
p.s. If you want to know how I REALLY feel about my 'admirers'---see my comment. Third one down.
p.s.s. I want to be able to include some photos from this weekend in Friday Fotos, so they'll be up on Monday!
52 comments:
Pick Mr. Rabbit! :) Goodness, I'm sorry!!!
Pick the one from Wales and score with the accent. If he's really from Wales. I'd rather be loved like I've never been loved before than have my spirit transcendence in a more realistic way.
Oops, Wales is the last name. Poor men. They'll think twice next time, eh?
Aubrey and Cailean--
hahahahahaha!!!! wait...there's more--hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
I'm not trying to make fun of these guys. They're obviously very passionate men-- and having lived in a foreign country, I won't put down anyone struggling with a different language. I just find it hilarious that any one feels the need to "love you" based on your picture, a paragraph about yourself, and like- a list of your favorite books and movies!
They were just way too good to not be shared!
I really do hope Mr. Rabbit and Florence do find their spirit transcendencing angels one day....
I love that you included Mr. Donald's email address...maybe one of your readers will find his letter inspiring and go ahead to contact him on her own :) ...you might be playing match-maker right now and not even know it! ;D
As funny as those letters were I have to say I laughed harder at the thought of you trying to outrun those "Scary Larrys" while they profess their love in broken English and elbow each other in your wake!
They are unbelievable! Funny but scary at the same time.
And they're from a church based site - even scarier.
Ok, so sweet that you said you don't want to make fun of them. I get and agree with that, but still, its funny.
When you are choosing between these guys though, just remember what Michael Scott once said "I think in order to be a ladies man, its imperative that people don't know you're a ladies man"
LOL!!! I haven't yet been so honored as to receive any such love letters, but one can only hope ;)
OK that is really scary!!! I just stopped and prayed for you Jer 29:11!
"I'm truly interested ON you..." in the first letter.
ON you?
I am afraid for you. Please run. But not too far...I have to come to Ida-HO one day.
Oh. My.
Seriously... spell check for everyone.
And the fanciest funning shoes for you!
Thanks for including Don's email for all the desperate single girls around here.
Maybe someday I'll be interested ON someone again.
Oh, and I'm not that desperate. Just in case you were wondering.
What I love is that Mr. Donald could say he would "love you like you've never been loved before" and think that you might actually fall for that. Are there women that gullible? If so, they should be locked up and committed before men like Donald get ahold of them. Wow.
I am praying that God will send you someone. In His timing. And hopefully NOT through a website. :)
Oh my. These are interesting men, I think. Please run... fast. If you have any doubt, let me put it to rest, these are not any that God has sent!!!!
In His time, and he will be able to spell!
Lisa Q
dear jenifer.i would like mmeat u won day. u r angle i'm shur.email me if it pleases us. u are face of shining sun. we eat many choclats and sit hot tub durng snow and watching the chicks flicks.
tee hee hee
OK, those were just too good to be true, but I just know they were. Can't wait to see your Friday Foto's.
Glad you're laughing 'cause it kind of freaks me out!!! I am sure my husband can find you a nice man downtown today waiting for the Trax. There are lots of weirdo's hanging out there.
Oh dear! This is even BETTER than being in highschool again. Oh I can so picture the faces behind those two letters. YIKES!
Okay that wasn't very nice. I didn't mean that their faces would ugly, just that their thought processes are a little....different. Okay I'm going to stop digging myself into a hole.
It makes you wonder just where they refined their proficient use of the English language.
I've known a few people who have internet dated and met some of these "faithful" crazies. Crazy really is the key word, good luck.
Even if you could rationalize away why he can't seem to type, spell, or put together a coherent thought, shouldn't "Mr. Rabbit" use a real name if he's wanting to strike up a phone relationship w/you?
you poor dear!!!! i truly feel for you. sigh--i wish there was some magic to make the good guys come to you....sorry :)
and truly sorry that you're getting the creepo's out of an LDS site
i only know of one guy over 30 that isn't married---he's in our ward, totally HANDSOME guy (but i'm not quite sure why he's single--i'll have to ask the bishop---their good friends--don't worry, its not just for you, i'm rather intruiged at this guy!)
Oh my! These poor men do not write in English very well. Are they English speaking even? If not, maybe the love letters would have sounded more romantic in their original language!! Ha! ;)
Oops, hope that was not too mean!
Honestly, I met my wonderful husband online, but not after wading through tons exactly like yours. Thanks for the laugh!
Huuummm, such a hard choice, I say the man behind door #1. So he may not seem so freaky, let's pretend he is a rich foreign business man. :P crazy fools.
At least they aren't using the "same old lines". "Hey, baby...what's your sign":-)
They both seem like such winners it's a tough choice! It would be helpful if they knew how to type a single sentence in English!
Yikes, and double yikes. At least they are good for a laugh. If they love you that much they'll be happy to know they have kept you entertained, AND gave you good blog material!
I hope that you have a really big DOG to keep the creaps away!!!! That was so funny and so incredibly scary all at the same time. I think that if a guy is not married by the age of 30 there is a reason. Do you see the BIG RED FLAG!!!!
Thanks for the best laugh all week!!!
Hey!!! I KNOW those guys!!! I see them all of the time. It's the guy at Wal*Mart who undresses you and doesn't look away (oh man, so creepy....yeah, this girl says it like it is! Jennifer is nice, but I'm not afraid to give a karate chop or two!!!), or the guy who JUST STARES, and doesn't say a thing even when you try to give an awkward smile to let him know that you know he's staring. Okay, maybe these Joe's are a little better than that....but I dunnOOOooo.
Sorry I'm so mean. You're nicer than me, and I'm pretty nice. That's hard to do! I know I don't sound nice right now, but LOVE is war, in more ways than one....especially when silly bloggy gals are in on the mix.
Okay, enough of that. HELLO LONG LOST BLOGGY PAL!!! Not because you've been lost, but I have! I've been doing SO many things lately...weird things, like painting my freezer, and sanding, painting, and hanging my stair rails that I haven't commented in ages--or worse--even looked at a blog! It's almost a crime.
But anyway, I loved all of your posts, and am actually quite glad that I missed the college debut one. I don't want anyone to SEE ME!! Stay away all you's, and stay away credit card people, or Liam will send you all of his cuteness! Oh how fun and funny.
How exciting for you, and how exciting for me that tomorrow, WE'RE GOING!!! HOORAY!!! I sent you an email btw...
Can't wait to see all that happens. I'll try not to be too nervous! I tend to be super nice and gabbery when nervous, so bring your ear plugs! I promise, I'll try to control my impulses to talk non-stop!
Ok please tell me this was all really a joke. Because that is some kinda crazy. Do you they know you have a blog??? Because they will be stalking you sister if they do. Wow...On the flip side of crazy, that made for one GREAT blog post!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Debbie--
No--thank goodness! No blog link off that site! I'm afraid the Peterson's Go Public! would have to turn into the Peterson's Stay Private! if they knew.....!!!!
Seriously people. We are talking about Jennifer here. Who would NOT be able to fall for her charms?
Thanks for sharing Jennifer. This is great material!
Seriously people. We are talking about Jennifer here. Who would NOT be able to fall for her charms?
Thanks for sharing Jennifer. This is great material!
I think you'd be better off dating the sacrifice with the head of a monkey and antlers like a reindeer than the Rabbit Man. For real. Wow.
WOW!! You are just too irrestible...well I guess....to everyone!!! Ha Ha. At least they are not talking to you in person!! Love ya!!
WHOA! I.CANNOT.BELIEVE. that someone could really just fall in love so easily!! I mean, there's no doubt you're a cutie...but wow! WOW! I just keep sayin' it over and over! I hope you send us all invitations to your wedding :)
Wow, are those for real??? They are too funny.
O.K. I have been following your blog for awhile now. I went back and caught up on it. I have to say that you are truly brave to be so open about your life. I am truly sorry for your heartache. You seem like a very strong person, great mother and wonderful person. I must say you have a very touching story. I feel a little guilty for reading your story, but it makes me realize just how strong a mother can be
And even funnier is I know exactly which website you're speaking of. . . and you sent ME an email on that one yesterday :-P
Of course it wasn't a love letter, and it was written much better than that ;-)
I've gotten a few like that myself from time to time. Most recently just a few weeks ago. Vague generalities about "I want to take care of you" kind of things. For a laugh I replied to the latest one, asked questions about her life and such. The reply began "It was so interesting to hear from you." and then went on to completely ignore everything I'd asked about.
And I won't even get in to all the spelling errors and mangled grammar, yet she claimed to be a US born and raised person from only 10 miles away from me. . . .
/rolleyes
This is an email I got yesterday, and I thought that you'd get a kick out of it:
"hello
My name is maryjoy saw your profile today at( www.orthodoxchristiandating.com) and became intrested
in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an
email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know
whom i am. Here is my email address (maryjoy_4real088@yahoo.com) I
believe we can move from here!
I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.
maryjoy."
Keep in mind that I've never been on any dating site, let alone that one! Oh, and umm, I'm not interested in women...
Wow... I think we should all drop #2 an email...
I want to have "transcendences"!!!
and...
I wish that I had Jesse's girl!
Where can I find me a transcendence like that?!?!?!
You are cracking me up! I had a man whom was hearing impaired stalking me once. Because my sign isn't the greatness, I didn't realize how crazy he was til I got internet and got the IMs from him! whoa!!
Dang it, I forgot to turn off my sound again ;)
These commentors are cracking me up as much as your post, and since Heather stole my angle...I just had to laugh at hers. i am right with her on sharing the chocolates together.
Were your ears ringing today? A bunch of us blogging friends welcomed Kimba to town and of course, we had to speak words about you..only kind ones, of course. :) Now, had we read this post first....bummer!
I made you laugh out loud? I have my moments, for certain.
When the talent comes pouring out, you can't help but to greedily lap it up, like a feral cat stopping to drink from the milk bowl which has been strategically placed outdoors in anticipation of its presence.
I can also put together a decent simile!!! You like?
I am the warm winter night. A dichotomy, seldom experienced but pleasant nonetheless.
(metaphor?)
MERE SULKY
I hope you have resorted to wearing cleats and those shiny running leotards. You might even want to put the boys in them. After all "if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." I can definitely see it now... Every first date should be in those shiny leotards and running cleats to show your fearless preparedness. If you go somewhere fancy you can wear your LBD (little black dress) right over them! He'll think you are fashion forward! Sorry, no pumps until you get to know the guy.
Thanks for stopping in a the garden blog. Stop in at kobialkafamily.blogspot.com sometime, too!
Oh dear.
i thinks you are tenderling loving ladee. thats why grate mens want to get to knows u.
You don't know me but I am laughing so hard, and kind of scared that I will soon be getting those kinds of comments and emails, once my divorce is final and I change my facebook staus to say single. Maybe I shouldn't change it. ;)
I hope you find your knight in shining armour one day along with me. Its nice to meet another " mom of boys". I have 3 rambuncious boys running crazily around this house of mine. Come see my Organized chaos (my blog name)
Hugs from Georgia,
Amy ;)
Post a Comment