a little lesson from my life

You know when you look at a post and my fonts aren't all BIG and small---that I'm doing some deep thinking, right?! :)


In the midst of the various trials I am still trying to work my way through ---I often feel simultaneously surrounded by divine love on all sides... and completely, totally alone. It's like Heavenly Father is RIGHT THERE--close enough I can hear His peace whispered to my heart--but sometimes I just reach that point where my physical body longs to be held and comforted too---then who do I turn to?

When Zane (my first) was a baby--he had his days and nights all mixed up. At 6 months, he was still waking up every hour and a half..... all night long.... EVERY night. We'd tried a pacifier, tried white noise machines, tried putting him in his car seat on the dryer, tried anti-gas drops, tried pre-emptive feedings, tried EVERYTHING! His pediatrician recommended a book called "Teaching Your Child to Sleep" by Dr. Richard Ferber, and I ran right out and bought it. Anyone heard of it? "Ferberization"? That's where you let your child 'cry it out' for increasingly longer intervals until they finally learn to put themselves back to sleep. You can go into their room, comfort them verbally--but not physically--and then continue to let them cry. I would never have considered doing this before, but I was soooooooo tired-- and poor baby Zane was too.

I can remember those nights so clearly. It was heart-wrenching to hear your innocent child crying for you and KNOW that you had the power to make it all stop, but knowing that what you were allowing them to go through was for their own good. I would sit outside his room with my head leaning on the door, listening to that pathetic cry--and crying along with him. I found myself whispering over and over: "I'm here little one. Don't worry. I love you. I'm sorry you have to cry. I promise it's all for your good. I'll be there in the morning and you'll smile at me and I'll feed you and we'll just have the best day ever!".

I come back to that scene often--when I feel that gnawing alone-ness and need for comfort; that God is right outside the door of my spirit saying : "I'm here little one. Don't worry. I love you. You know I have the power to make this all better. I'm sorry you have to cry. I promise it's all for your good. "........."...weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning. Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me: Lord, be thou my helper. Thou hast turned my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness." (Psalms 30: 5, 10-11).


I look forward to that joyous morning that my Father will be there-- and smile at me, and comfort me emotionally, spiritually and--finally-- physically......and it really will be the best day ever!